black hair

[iamstill]

I live in a predominantly white village and 2 year old who just started nursery is the only black child there. i went to pick my son up and key worker through conversation told me how other kids have been touching his hair which she finds humorous. He hair is cut low. ( like Charles on strictly ). She then asks me what i call what's on his head?? I'm like hair just like yours. im really upset because my son is not a spectacle and should not be treated as such and it should be explained to kids its rude. Would they allow that to be done to a child that looks different (ab amputee for e.g) My son doesnt go about touching Caucasian hair or rubbing their skin when he plays with our friends. What do you think?

How does your son feel about it?
I definitely understand the children's curiosity, especially as you live in a predominately white village- but their teachers should definitely be discouraging it now and definitely not bringing it up to you like it's something great.

Children do see skin colour.

My BIL is white & whenever my ds (2yo) sees another white man he says that it's BIL.

They do see skin colour. But they are not malicious with it as they're so innocent and haven't been tainted!

But kids do touch everything, and that's how they learn differences. My friend's son is one and he wants tot put his hands on everything and everyone, and I would not discourage it. We are in predominantly white area and kids touch each other's hair regardless of their race. I think you are being a bit sensitive because your child is the only black child in the nursery, but if it makes you feel uncomfortable, by all means let the nursery know about it.

I agree with pp in thinking that other children touching his hair but the nursery worker sounds very odd.
When my DD used to visit North Africa when she was little she would have a lot of people touching her hair which was very blonde straight hair then, I didn't mind children doing it and I explained to her that they just weren't used to it (although I did have an issue with random adults touching her). I also agree that children do see colour but not negatively and by asking that the nursery teachers tell the children not to (presumably gently) touch his hair, they may misunderstand and think they shouldn't touch him which would be far worse than the current situation.

Her comment would bother me.

Kids touching hair is no big deal. If you don't like it, tell the nursery you'd like them to gently discourage it.

This sounds highly unusual to say the least at age two.

Hmmm i wouldn't like this one bit. It made me uncomfortable reading it. Change nursery or find a childminder.

What a weird key worker! Obviously children are curious about differences but have none of them ever seen a black person in the street or supermarket or on trips away from this village? On tv?
I find it hard to believe they all thought it was such a curiosity like some 19th century exhibit! Your poor son.
Not the same but I m from north east Scotland where red hair is pretty usual and I did not appreciate the stares when I came to England as a pale skinned freckled red headed child years ago. Not all children like to be touched and stroked like a pet.
Definitely say something.

‘other kids have been touching his hair which she finds humorous.’

^^
Her response is not setting a good example for the children at all.

Maybe time for a chat with the nursery manager or to find another nursery or childminder.

Children do see differences. It's how they react to them that matters, and that comes from adult influence around them. My DD goes to quite a diverse school and she understands that some of the other children have a different skin colour but she doesn't see that as being any more of a difference than having a different hair colour or different colour clothes.

The children are just curious and have seen that he is different to them. There is no issue with this, the issue is with the staff member and her reaction which is weird and not promoting inclusivity (asking what you call his hair is seriously weird).

I'd have a word with the nursery manager and ask that she speaks to the staff member and ensure she stops acting this way.

Put your child on the waiting list at another nursery. Speak to the manager. The nursery worker needs speaking to.
The children should not touch your son's hair without his consent. If that's what's happening they need to intervene.