Why won't my baby sleep?!

[FoxyFabrina]

My baby is 5 weeks old. He will sleep on my chest or in my arms, but obviously I can't sleep at the same time.

As soon as I put him on his back, he stirs and cries and wants to be held. He has a bit of reflux and gets upset when he spits up. He also had wind which seems to be worse on his back.

I can get him to fall asleep if I literally hover over him with my nipple in his mouth until he falls asleep, or pop my finger in his mouth to suck on, but he stirs again after a few minutes and suddenly is awake again.

AIBU to be feeling really stressed over this? I just want him to sleep. I feel bad he's in pain and also feel frustrated that I am not getting any sleep either (and nor is DH!).

Does anyone have ANY advice for me?

He's only 5 weeks old. It can be a rough road. You need to power your way through it and let him start to regulate himself. This stage won't last forever.

Also, he might do well with a pacifier. Get one.

I'm in the exact same position! He'll only settle when held upright against me which is painful for my breasts. The GP prescribed gaviscon and infacol today which I thought had worked wonders this afternoon but tonight appears to have made zero difference. I'm also at a loss, I can't sleep with him against me all night

Prop the basket up, dummy and swaddling. Have you tried white noise?

Sounds like a dummy would be helpful if sucking helps him to go off. A dummy has worked wonders for us. White noise has also been a huge help. My little boy’s eyes get heavy as soon as it starts playing now.

His sleep will get better. My little one is 12 weeks. At 5 weeks I was in my knees but we turned corner at 7/8 weeks. He’s sleep just got better naturally - sussed our night from day, staying down longer at night, more time between feeds, not only needing to sleep in my chest. At 12 weeks, although my sleep is still broken, it is so much more bearable. It will get better!

Both my boys had reflux as a baby. Best thing is to get a dummy, so they can comfort suck, put the cot at an angle and get them wrapped up in a swaddle.

I can't remember how DS1 was at 5 weeks, but I remember DS2 always liked to sleep upright on my chest. I had to leave him there for about an hour after feeding and then put him down, in the swaddle.

At 5 weeks old he just wants to be with you. A dummy is a good idea - it helped settle all three of mine.

Can DH sleep in a spare room/on sofa - he can then take baby for a bit while you get a chance to sleep. We found tag-teaming helped.

Like the above poster said - it's about powering through at this stage. It is hard as they have no day/night awareness and want to be close to you. Where does he sleep? Would one of those next to me cots help? I co-sleep. Am on 3rd who is 11 weeks old. (Am awake feeding her now). She either sleeps in the crook of my arm or high up the bed away from pillow/duvet in a growbag with me holding her hand or resting my hand on her tummy for the contact. We do have a spare room though where DH sleeps for now. This means he's rested enough to pick up all the parenting slack with the older two. I get enough sleep through co-sleeping and daytime napping not to feel too gruesome.

Best of luck - you sound knackered so just do what works. It's still early days, I promise it'll pass. And when you're awake with him in the middle of the night, remember you're not alone. Thousands of mums up and down the country will be awake with their babies right now.

I'm awake with 11 week old DS, same situation wrt not sleeping on his back!

We've progressed from only sleeping on our chests or in the sling, to him sleeping alongside me on the sofa (me fully awake), and now we're trying to cosleep. So far I've had about 2 hours broken sleep tonight, just about to put him down again after a feed, then he'll be passed to DH who is in the spare room right now. It's been a very slow process, you aren't alone!!

Just here in solidarity. Currently feeding a very wide awake dd. Very tired.

It gets easier! I remember feeling like I’d never get more than a couple of hours sleep in one go again at one point. At about 6 weeks I miraculously managed to convince DS to sleep in his cot and now at 12 weeks he sleeps through some nights and the rest he wakes after 5-6 hours, has a feed and goes straight back to sleep within about half an hour! (I’m fully anticipating 4 month sleep regression but it’s great for now!)

DS was also a refluxy baby. He’d sleep for about 3 hours at the start of the night and then be up feeding, sicking and being uncomfortable for hours in the middle of the night. He’s gradually grown out of it and whilst he still brings up a fair bit of milk during the day (through greediness I suspect), he goes down on his back and seems fine at night now.

If he’ll take a dummy, this definitely sounds like it might give you a break!

My baby is 14 weeks and has been like this since she was born. She has silent reflux we have been prescribed ranitidine which was a miracle at first but seems to have stopped working. Hope it gets better soon.

My 5 week old DS will only fall asleep on me. I then have to wait until he's in a deep enough sleep to put him in the next to me cot. If I judge it wrong and he's not in a deep sleep it just starts the process off from the beginning again. I hope your little ones reflux gets better x

A dummy saved me in this situation. It will get better, 5 weeks is still so tiny!

Prop the head end of the Moses basket up with a book or similar so it's raised slightly. This helps with reflux. Also look at the sleep environment for baby which should be pitch black, use white noise, be the right temp etc. Then look at your daily routine and whether DC may be over or under tired.

Mine are 7 months and 2 and still don't sleep, sorry.

Swaddling was amazing as I could finally transfer a sleeping baby from my chest to his cot without waking him up.

Also, mastering lying down feeding meant I could get some rest through the day.

It is so hard at this stage - but it’s normal. DH and I staggered sleeping times so I would feed the baby at 9pm and go to bed. DH would then be on duty till 12am so I would definitely get 3 hours sleep - he would try super-hard to cope even if he suspected she did want another feed. From 12am he’d go to bed and (if he was working) it would be my turn until at least 5am. At weekends we’d get through the night in shifts - so it would start the same but I’d be on duty till 4, then he’d do 4-8, popping in so I could feed her then taking her away, then he’d go back to bed at 8am... you just do what you can.

It's hard to say at this age whether it's about him lying down /reflux, in which case he might sleep in a baby swing, or if he just wants to be near you. Get a sling or carrier for the daytime - the better he sleeps in the day, the better he'll sleep at night. You might find it useful to read a baby sleep book like Teach Your Child To Sleep by the Millpond sleep clinic - the advice at this age is just to let them sleep however they want, it's a lot easier to get them into a bit of a routine and sleeping in the cot and stuff once they're about 12 weeks. That probably feels like about a year away to you right now though. Stay strong!

Put him to sleep on his belly?

Swaddle in a blanket that smells of you in a cot that you’ve propped the end up a bit so he isn’t lying flat

Yep, the tales of new parenthood sleep deprivation are not exaggerated!

My baby was the same. My husband and I had to sleep in shifts at the start. Now at three months she's been sleeping well for the last 6 weeks or so. Don't worry, it gets better!

Your baby is tiny and just needs to be close to you while they adjust to their new surroundings. Just give them time and when they're ready they'll sleep in their basket x

It is normal (fourth trimester), lots of others are in the same boat. It does get better!

I just gave in when mine was small as I kept falling asleep feeding so decided planning to be asleep and doing it safely was better. I let her sleep on me in bed and kind of wedged my arms in place with a feeding pillow, moved the duvet down to cover my legs only and wore a really warm hoody with hood up to keep the rest of me warm. They are relatively safe at that age as don't roll. I am a very light sleeper though so kind of safer than a lot of people.

There is lots of advice to try and make them more cozy, things like rolled up towels around them (under the sheets) in bed, white noise (get an app on your phone before buying an expensive gadget), warming the bed up first, propping it up so their head is elevated etc. I didn't find any of this worked! Only thing worked for us when they started sleeping on their own was a love to dream swaddle it's a cross between a sleeping bag and a swaddle but leaves their arms free up near their faces. I got a 50 50 one so you can take arms off when they are older to help transition to a sleeping bag but a tiny baby probably doesn't need this feature. We bought new but they keep their value well and sell for a decent amount on ebay so got a decent chunk of our money back