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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re DSD's advent calendar?

59 replies

PoesyCherish · 27/11/2018 22:17

DP and I have a cloth advent calendar which we fill with chocolate. We only bought it last year and weren't sure how it was going to go so we bought DSD a separate calendar, just one of the branded chocolate ones. She ended up only eating about 4 chocs and leaving the rest until way past Advent. I think she finally finished it early Feb.

This year we're avoiding chocolate as DP and I are both on diets. Would we BU to use the cloth advent calendar but only put chocs in the days we have DSD?

I don't know if it makes any difference but she's almost 7.

OP posts:
SheRaTheAllPowerful · 27/11/2018 22:19

I often put notes in our cloth calendar - today we’ll decorate the tree, make a gingerbread house etc

Original poster
PoesyCherish · 27/11/2018 22:21

That's a lovely idea @SheRaTheAllPowerful

Just to clarify we've got no problems buying DSD chocolate. I'm just trying to figure out the best way of doing it.

OP posts:
GreenEggsHamandChips · 27/11/2018 22:21

Do you really want to be that parent who only put eight chocolates in a 6 year olds advent calendar?Confused

QueenOfIce · 27/11/2018 22:23

Instead of chocolate could you put a little present inside instead? Nothing expensive just a little something to unwrap! And you wouldn't be that parent so ignore last poster.

Original poster
PoesyCherish · 27/11/2018 22:24

Do you really want to be that parent who only put eight chocolates in a 6 year olds advent calendar?confused

What you mean that parent who let their DSC have chocolate every single day they were at our house during advent??

OP posts:
SuperMumTum · 27/11/2018 22:25

I think that would be fine. Mine have one advent calender at each house to share so they both get to open a door every day but there isn't an excess of doors to open and theyre not trying to catch up on missed days. Although if she isn't bothered about the chocolate you could put other things in the cloth calender on the days that you have her like a hair clip, lip balm or eraser. And one or two chocolates or sweets.

NotANotMan · 27/11/2018 22:25

What's the issue? You might eat the chocolates if she doesn't come one day?!
Fill the calendar up and let her have several days in one go when she comes to you. Buy very small chocolates if you think that's a lot - maybe smarties? And don't eat her chocolate!

Original poster
PoesyCherish · 27/11/2018 22:34

What's the issue? You might eat the chocolates if she doesn't come one day?!
Fill the calendar up and let her have several days in one go when she comes to you.

The issue is that she's only with us for a few days during Advent and she really doesn't eat that much chocolate. She could eat the whole thing in one go if she really wanted but the fact is she doesn't actually eat that much.

Although if she isn't bothered about the chocolate you could put other things in the cloth calender on the days that you have her like a hair clip, lip balm or eraser. And one or two chocolates or sweets.

That's such a good idea!

OP posts:
GreenEggsHamandChips · 27/11/2018 22:34

In the kids eye thats better than being the parent that only gave them 6 chocolates in their advent calender!!! Given she didn't finish last year's advent calendar until Feb, eating the chocolate all at once doesn't seem a problem!

If your worried about the chocolate do the notes etc instead but be aware that that might create quite a weight of expectation.24 little notes with lovely stuff to do is putting a lot of pressure on a very limited time span. 24 small gifts are quite a lot on the cobtext of a day when they are getting rather a lot of presents probably from two sets of family. If your religious the models for a navitity could be a good tradition to start

You may be better looking for an old fashioned picture advent calendar.

Original poster
PoesyCherish · 27/11/2018 22:36

In the kids eye thats better than being the parent that only gave them 6 chocolates in their advent calender!!!

My point was she has an advent calendar at her Mum's and she would be having a chocolate from the one at ours every day she was with us. If for example she's only with us for 6 days, why is only putting 6 chocs in the family advent calendar such a bad thing?

OP posts:
freddiethegreat · 27/11/2018 22:40

It’s not a bad thing, particularly. Just potentially feeling a little on the stingy side. As someone said - a Smartie a day wouldn’t break the bank, massively overfeed her with chocolate OR be a disaster if thrown away. And whether she’s there or not, there are 24 days from 01 - 24 December ...

GreenEggsHamandChips · 27/11/2018 22:45

Because she's not just your DSD when she's with you. She doesn't stop existing just because she isn't with you. Only putting chocolates in the calender when she's there kinda says that's the only time she matters to you. She matters all the time to mum there's chocolates waiting for her even when she's not there... not suggesting for One moment that's tyre but a six years olds mind isn't always the most logical when it comes to chocolate and Christmas

Anyway if i was really worried about getting the kid hyped on sugar over your weekends (and I get that too) I'd get a picture
Calendar www.traditionaladventcalendars.co.uk/advent-calendars.html?limit=all

EwItsAHooman · 27/11/2018 22:45

My DD is 7yo and loves lip balm, erasers, stickers, glittery pens, those mini tubes of bubbles with the heart shaped wand, that sort of thing. I go to the pound shop or Home Bargains and spend around £5-£10 on multi-packs of various things she'll like then seperate them into individual items to fill up the calendar. This year she has bubbles, lip balm, hair bows/clips, glittery tree baubles, bath bombs, unicorn pencils, and mini-notebooks.

Maelstrop · 27/11/2018 22:46

I'm with the OP, pointless putting chocolate in each date.

Cherries101 · 27/11/2018 22:47

I think it’s fair in this situation for her to open more than one day at a time OP. Hmm

RubixCubix · 27/11/2018 22:52

We have a cloth advent calendar here, but I don't fill all the pockets all at once. If I'd done that in the past all 24 chocs would have been scoffed on Dec 1st. Instead each pocket is magically filled overnight for the following day. So I see no issue with only putting something in your calendar for the mornings DSD wakes up at your house.

purplecorkheart · 27/11/2018 22:56

Does she like boiled sweets/jellies/ any individual wrapped sweets? Try and find out what she likes and fill them with that. You may need to do it in stages like other posters suggest but do not part fill the calander

RubixCubix · 27/11/2018 22:57

Oh and when other children stay over at our house during advent, I put extra chocs in the pockets, so everyone gets one each.

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts · 27/11/2018 23:09

Could you get a small Lego set that you add a few pieces to each time she is with you, so There's still a piece or 2 each day but she build more at a time. There's a nutcracker at the Lego store for £8.50, would make a nice decoration for Christmas too we have one from last year.

Or something like a set of shopkins/hatchimals. Even second hand would work as you would split them amongst the pockets so wouldn't notice lack of packaging. That's what I've done for dds. Or some scented gel pens/pencils (tiger, the works or the entertainer had cheap sets) maybe a small notebook on 1st Dec to use them in.

Or maybe some individual sachets of different flavoured hot chocolates/milk shake straws (pound shop have them).

Allthewaves · 27/11/2018 23:12

Lego advent calendars are pretty awesome

Molakai · 27/11/2018 23:22

Are you asking if it's ok for DSD to only receive advent treats on the days she is with you?

Or are you asking for alternatives to chocolate advent calendars?

wingardium8 · 27/11/2018 23:28

We do the same as Rubixcubix - fill the cloth calendar overnight (the elves come and put chocolates in, but only for well-behaved children...) so DSS gets chocolate on the days he's here.

The elves are clever enough to know who's been good; they can certainly work out who's in the house on which days.

Maybe it makes a difference if there are other DC in the house? It would be a bit hard for full-time resident DC to watch DSS scoffing a fortnight's worth of chocolate while they get one (and knowing that DSS gets a calendar at his other home) but probably fine otherwise.

OutPinked · 27/11/2018 23:51

Will it break the bank to put a few extra small chocolates in? Does it really matter if it takes her two months to finish them all?

MrsStrowman · 28/11/2018 00:37

@nocutsnobuttsnococonuts I'm stealing your Lego idea for DH! I've bought him the Lego calendar before but they're very samey whereas if it's parts to make up one model I think he'll love it. I know he's got me the Yankee candle one this year because I can't eat chocolate at the moment (gestational diabetes). Thank you 😁

Blondebakingmumma · 28/11/2018 01:14

We have cloth advent calendar and will pockets with Christmas activities rather than chocolate. You could always buy her the toy advent calendars available like the LEGO one for example