for not feeling immediate connection to bf children?

[Kellybath82]

My new bf has 3 children and although I enjoy spending time with them I feel like I'm not ready for the responsibility. AIBU if I ask my bf to give me time to adjust?

How long have you been together? Do you know each other well enough to bring his kids into it? Of course it will be a big adjustment

No.

Personally 3 children and I would run for the hills.

Mainly because I've looked after groups of children in the past and know spending hours with more than 2 in a home environment would drive me up the wall.

Thought you meant breastfed and was confused at the wording!

All relationships take time and those with children are no different, be careful if he's pressuring you though as he might just fancy a free babysitter.

Is he pressurising for you to live together?

Or what is it that he wants?

You should be allowed to develop the relationship in your own time.

He also needs to get straight that the children are his responsibility. As said, be careful that he doesn't want to pass the workload on to you.

Why on earth would you feel an instant connection to three kids you don’t know?!

With my stepchildren, I started out simply:

• interested to see what they were like, more than I’d be interested in other kids, simply because they were his
• predisposed to wanting to like them, again because they were his

I certainly didn’t feel any connection.

Also, how new is new?
Because if new is what I would call new, you shouldn’t even have met them in passing - let alone spent any time with them.

My boyfriend has a son. He’s a wonderful little boy but at the beginning he was lovely and great but it wasn’t like there was some deep and meaningful connection. A couple of years in and the other day I got quite emotional when he asked to read to himself rather than have a story at bedtime. You’re not going to instantly love them madly and if you need a bit of space to adjust then take that and work out if you can adjust. I don’t think it’s for everyone.
Couple of questions: Is he pressuring you to move in or anything? Why do you feel you need to ask him for time? How long have you been together?

I also thought you meant breastfed, I was agog!!
You need to tread very slowly and carefully in this relationship. Do not allow yourself to be rushed into anything. Trust your instincts.