To escalate matters with the school

[crunchymommy]

My daughter is 8 almost 9. Shes suffering mental health issues and is on a waiting list for a counselor. She suffers hugely with anxiety. Shes having swimming lessons at school and at todays lesson she was asked along with the rest of her class to jump in the deep end and swim. She can't swim. She's learning and her swimming teacher knows this obviously so she declined and said she wouldn't be able to swim or breathe. The swimming teacher has then proceeded to call her and any others that refused cowards and cry babies and asked if they wanted their mammies. She told her regular teacher who accompanies them and was just told to get dressed. The teacher didn't address the matter at the time so when my daughter told me at home time I spoke to the teacher rather angry and she said she'd ring the swimming teacher. Would it be unreasonable to go straight to the head teacher tomorrow and take matters further. My daughter came out crying and I am livid but also upset she was treated this way by an adult shes supposed to be able to trust. Any advice or opinions appreciated.

Definitely get the full story -any friends/parents there?

You've told the class teacher. They said they will investigate. let that happen, then take it from there.

I understand why you are angry. It's not on.

Have to say though that the teacher would have been very busy supervising changing/naked children and trying to keep to a tight schedule. It wouldn't have been an appropriate moment for them to leave the children unattended to speak to the swimming teacher. Phoning later is a better option.

The swimming teacher has then proceeded to call her and any others that refused cowards and cry babies and asked if they wanted their mammies

Bloody hell, this person has had no training in pedagogy at all, have they?
YANBU to be upset about this, but the class teacher is already investigating. If you're not satisfied with the result, then take it further at that point.

It seems unlikely that they would tell a non-swimmer to jump in the deep end and swim. They don't really like practicing their life saving skills in the middle of the lesson.

Happened at my school on first swimming lesson one lad told the teacher he could swim and jumped in... and sank. Teacher said (after he retired) it was the worst moment he'd had in 40 years teaching.

Doesn’t surprise me, looks like things haven’t changed in the 30+ years since I was taught to swim. I had a great teacher for my private lessons from the age of about 8/9; the ones before that sound like your DDs. The ones we had when I went with school also sound as bad. I’d definitely go in, wish my parents had had my back a bit more about it.

Okay but the teacher didn't approach me and tell me any of this had happened. I approached her after DD and a few of her friends came and told me the story. The children have all given the same story too on what happened. The same swimming teacher also removed her from a lesson a few weeks ago after she kept floating to the surface when instructed to try sit on the pool floor. Obviously beyond her control?! He seems horrid and she's meant to have another lesson next Tuesday too.

Can you stay for lessons? Watch and see what happens?

You need to give teacher time to handle it and come back to you. If that doesn't happen then esculate

I would wait for the teacher to speak to you and depending on what they say consider if you want her to remain in the swimming lesson or not. It sounds like it might be very scary for her. If you aren’t satisfied with the explanation would be tempted to keep her away from the swimming lesson.

The lessons are at a different venue. Not at achool. Doubt I'd be allowed in to watch as the rest of her class will be there too. I know I was probably very worked up when I found out so now I'm calm I'm open to suggestions on how you would all handle this situation. Thanks everyone 😊

Put your foot down and tell the school you are withdrawing her from swimming lessons with immediate effect, and she will not resume lessons until this has been fully investigated to your satisfaction. Write to the governors as well.

It absolutely does happen and i was on the receiving end of exactly the same treatment when i was a teenager and unable to swim. It has left me with a huge nervousness about being in the water.

I would absolutely raise it with the head tomorrow. It is not acceptable and if you feel your concerns were dismissed by the class teacher then the correct course of action is to request a meeting with the head.

Our school has had issues with swimming teachers, our staff have had to intervene on two occasions recently and complaints have gone in. YANBU.

You could ask the teacher to keep you updated, tell her that you are very concerned and you could even put it in writing to her, so she knows you want to be kept informed, if you don't hear anything by the end of the week or in good time for the next swimming lesson call the head teacher and ask her for an update, tell her that you don't want this person teaching your child and humiliating her,

Thank you all. You've all given very valid and reasonable responses. Ill request to be kept updated by the teacher and go from there. Its so easy to get caught in the anger so its great to have outsiders input.

Similar happened to my gran (now 77) as a child, except when she refused as she couldn't swim, the teacher pushed her in, and the pool lifeguard had to save her. It's given her a lifelong phobia of water, she even finds showering difficult if the water runs directly in her face, I can't believe similar tactics are being used today it is ridiculous. Give the teacher time to talk to the swim teacher, see what the outcome is tomorrow, if you're not happy withdraw her from the lessons.