Been with a guy 7 months, met at work. I’m 27 he’s 43. Was under the impression he was mature and good for kids. Didn’t meet the kids until 4 months of dating. Said would take them fishing and stuff never happened seemed a bit cold toward them but I put it down to nerves.
Last two months have been awful. His drinking (he claims not to have a problem although I’ve observed him lying about drink for a long time) has gone OTT and I’ve said he can’t come to my place drunk. He said he wouldn’t but shows up smelling of alcohol claiming a “quick pint” after work. I’m not one to demand he’s T-total just not drunk. I had been told by a few colleuges he had a drinking problem but we had long “honest” talks about it all. Few bizzare things over the course of the relationship caused me to end it.
- One night I arranged to stay at his after work as there were no buses back to my hometown or trains. I text him my friend was driving me to his and he replied. Upon arrival he didn’t answer the buzzer. I must have called 20 times. It got to 2am (I finished at 12:30 midnight) and ended up staying with my boss. It was mortifying. By 12 the next day I hadn’t heard from him. I was willing to sort of forgive him falling asleep on me but I expected an apology. I called him instead, he didn’t apologise at all and simply said “I fell asleep”. I asked if he was concerned of my whereabouts and he said “I thought you had gone to a party” “you are a big girl you can look after yourself”. I’m not into partying whatsoever as I have kids ... and I just thought it was a bit weird and not very boyfriend like.
- I saw some muffins on offer in Sainsbury’s for 50p and gave them to a homeless guy. He went mental, walked away from me calling me stupid and saying I might as well “go bankrupt giving homeless people everything”. I did this more than once and each time he went crazy and walked away from me so I had to catch up to him like a pleb. It just felt weird.
- He had a giant picture of his ex in his flat, who has supposedly broken up with over a year ago. I asked him why he hasn’t got rid of it and he said “It goes back to her. She gave it to me as a gift she can have it back.” I just said “well she doesn’t want it.... she broke up with you. If you aren’t over her we don’t have to see each other I’m looking for something more serious” he insisted he was over her and eventually got rid of it.
- He was late to meet my parents and didn’t even apologise for it, I was embarrassed and he didn’t get why.
- He used to always say he was going to “cut my head off “ as a joke.
- He recently went to Poland, his home country. Didn’t bother to tell me until one day before he had to leave, blanked me and when I finally got hold of him he said “I’m going back to Poland”. It was wtf... we agreed to meet up and just enjoy each other’s company (away from my kids) until he left.
The final straw is what happened a few nights ago. I’ve come down with severe flu, aching, chills etc and was bedridden. My parents have come down from Scotland to help me with the kids. One night he came and was nice but was touching me up etc. He looked after me well enough and went to work. Before my parents arrived he said he would come after work he finishes at 6. I said please don’t be late. He showed up at 10, drunk after ignoring me for hours and not telling me what train he was on etc. He then bought a takeaway for himself and had a tantrum screaming about not being able to find salt. He called my house a shithole and I just walked away into another room. He then came into bed trying to take my clothes off and kiss my boobs etc. It made me feel sick.
I sent him a text today saying it’s over and I’m tired of him being drunk and blocked him.
I don’t want to be a coward .... but I think we’ve talked things over on person and on the phone so many times and it’s like talking to a brick wall. He hasn’t tried to call or anything so I guess he’s accepted it which is fine. I just wouldn’t like myself to be broken up with over text but I feel meeting him in person would be pointless... thoughts?