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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can a child have too much freeplay?

14 replies

PrincessOfFlatVille · 27/11/2018 15:57

My DD is 3 and has a speech delay and developmental delay. Her imagination is just starting to appear.

Apart from her SALT exercises which are games I don’t structure play with her (they do need to be done everyday). She goes to Nursery 3 days a week and does structured play there but when home it’s all free play. I let her guide the game.

So earlier I was sat on the sofa next to her and she grabbed my hand and said “Quick mummy out of the boat” so we played a game about a boat and an island with monkeys and trees on. Later we had a teddy bears picnic on the island with all our cuddly friends (and the cat).

She also role plays, so will make “food” on her toy kitchen for her pretend picnics or her dolls who sit in their highchair and she feeds them.

Of course I do ask questions. So during the island game I asked her what colours she could see, we counted the pretend stepping stones to cross the lake to get to the beach, we counted the monkeys and described them as “Funny” and “Cheeky” when they stole a pretend banana.

I also read to her, usually after lunch and then at bedtime. And do structured activities in the form of swimming once a week. We also walk and get public transport everywhere (she can’t walk far) so use that to talk about buses and cars and diggers or whatever. We also make cards in the run up to someones birthday and Christmas and also have recently made a costume for her Christmas Play at Nursery together.

But I don’t know if she needs more structured play? And if so what kind of things would be classes as structured? We do jigsaws or whatever but she gets bored and we have a lot of appointments so I like games that we can either leave and come back to or continue to play while we’re out and about.

For further context and to avoid drip feeding it's just me and DD, she sees her dad for a couple of hours a week occasionally.

Should I be introducing more structured play?

AIBU?

OP posts:
masterandmargarita · 27/11/2018 16:15

I've not really heard of free play or structured play. I just played. Sounds like you're doing a great job though and she sounds happy. Dont stress.

Knowivedonewrong · 27/11/2018 16:16

No, absolutely not. Your DD sounds like she's having the time of her life. She's obviously got a great imagination and you are doing loads with her. Carry on and enjoy! 😃

Moonflower12 · 27/11/2018 16:18

I want to come and play at yours! It sounds perfect. She has nursery so is learning to socialise and to use her imagination at home.
I'm a nursery nurse and SENCo and your play sounds lovely for a 3 year old.

SheSparkles · 27/11/2018 16:19

Keep doing what you’re doing! You’re maybe thinking a wee bit deeply about structured and unstructured because she has some intervention due to her delay, but what you’re doing is perfect.

KingLooieCatz · 27/11/2018 16:20

How I wish I had your energy and enthusiasm when DS was that age!

Sounds grand for a three year old, like there's a loose routine and element of predictability to her day, structured activities at times and a very engaged parent.

MissingSummer · 27/11/2018 16:25

With my first, we structured the hell out of her time, she was literally being entertained by one of us at all times and boy did that come and bite us on the bum! At 9, even now she can be very demanding of our attention and although she's better, there was a time when she was 4 or 5 that she just wouldn't/couldn't make her own entertainment. With our 2nd we went the other way and left him to entertain himself a lot more, and as a result he is a lot more independent. That probably comes to an extent with being a 1st/2nd child (as in the first will inevitably end up having more attention than the 2nd) but basically, no, I think your happy middle sounds about right!

hazeyjane · 27/11/2018 16:28

It sounds great, and whatever you're doing must be ok because her speech, attention span and imaginative and interactive play sound great for a 3 year old.

riotlady · 27/11/2018 17:44

Sounds absolutely lovely to me!

Rachyrach1990 · 27/11/2018 21:49

Just play, it goes by so quickly whether structured or unstructured she will enjoy it as its time with you.

I also wouldn't be afraid to let her play on her own also, my youngest ds is 2. 5 and he will run along to his kitchen and cook there as I'm making tea, he's become very independent as a result of having his playing alone time. X

PrincessOfFlatVille · 27/11/2018 22:20

She plays on her own when I'm cooking or as I'm getting ready to go out. It's also not always playing with me, sometimes I'll be sat on the sofa and she'll just be playing on the floor with her dolls or her cars or something.

OP posts:
steppemum · 27/11/2018 22:24

you sounds lovely and you are doing good old fashioned child lead play, which is the best sort for this age.

Lolapusht · 27/11/2018 22:36

Sounds perfect! Letting them find their own entertainment is really important for their development and it sounds like you’re teaching her lots without making it a chore.

She’s exploring the world (and making up her own worlds!) in her own way which will her become her own person and give her confidence in her own abilities.

If you want to find out about the benefits of child-led play (which is basically what you’re doing), have a look online and maybe have a quick read of Montessori principles. Letting them do their own thing isn’t just cute or pandering to them, it gives them the tools they need for the rest of their lives.

If you’re doing her SALT exercises and taking account of what any other professionals may have advised, get in that boat and count those monkeys!

Rachyrach1990 · 27/11/2018 22:39

Sounds like she's got a great balance Smile

Pebblesandfriends · 27/11/2018 22:41

It all sounds completely normal, just keep doing what you're doing.

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