I am in the process of leaving my DH, but we’re still living together, the problem is not with him but his mother. I’ve never got on with his family, they’re the sort of family that cannot spend an hour with you without talking behind your back. So I’ve distanced myself from them over the years, I had a big row with MIL couple months ago and now I don’t really talk to her other than hi/bye. She comes round a lot 3-4 times a week, and lives close to us.
When she comes round, I say a quick hello and go about my business or go to my bedroom. I just let her come, drink her tea and give her sweets out, I don’t spend time with them in the living room.
Anyway couple days ago she came round unannounced, DH wasn’t home. The DCs saw her car outside and said “nanny’s here!”, so DS6 went and opened the door, I was in the kitchen. When he opened the door he said “daddy’s not here, go away!”, I opened the door again and said hi, she just looked at me and walked away. I’m assuming she was upset by DS reaction.
She then came back with DH, and told DS off. She came round the next day because she needed her car fixed, and DH went with her to the garage. When DS saw her pulling up outside our house he said “ugh nanny again”. I never speak bad about her to my children, I keep it all to myself. But I’m scared they’re gonna think I’m turning my children against his family or something like that.
The thing is DS is always happy when she’s here, but he will sometimes react like that or ask me “ why is nanny always here?” . I’m starting to think he can sense the tension between me and MIL, and know I don’t get on with her.
DS is 6, and not exactly a baby, he’s starting to realise she’s always here, never gives them a chance to miss her and never invites us round. These things used to bother me, but I don’t care anymore because I’m leaving. I’m just scared his family will accuse me of turning the children against them, it’s a toxic family and the DCs will notice as they get older. What should I do in case they accuse me of this?