To feel so tired with the constant grind (mental health)

[InkyGrail]

It's just a little moan really I suppose. I am a single parent and work pretty much full time.

I do enjoy my life generally, but sometimes it just gets a bit on top of me. It's the constant 'things to do' - the neverending graft. Work, housework, parenting, driving, chores, etc.

I have some longstanding issues with depression and anxiety and I manage them pretty well for what they are (i.e. it doesn't 'stop' me from doing all the tasks I need to do on the whole, IF I manage it right).

But these add even more to my 'things to do' pile - I have to self-care, manage anxiety attacks, ensure I am extremely careful about downtime, rest and my 'emotional diet' (like what I watch, who I speak to, etc). If I slip even a little bit on this then my mental health immediately starts to slide and I have to spend time picking things back up and working even harder to get back to 'normal.'

So it feels some days that all I do is the nuts and bolts of working and chores and parenting etc, plus all the in-between times are managing my mental health so I can do the 'normal' life parts.

I feel like I have to run so fast each day just to be 'level' so I can then do 'normal' stuff.

It just feels a bit much sometimes.

Sounds like you have good strategies in place, Inky. I admire you. Yes, it's a grind, but it won't always be this hard. This time of the year especially, it's about hunkering down and surviving.

You're not alone. It is tiring and I don't think people realise how much effort goes into keeping your head above water with mental health.

I feel like that too Inky as I'm in the same position as you and have been for the last 15 years.

The run up to Christmas is always stressful for me, as there are the extra events for the DC, my job is always really busy in December and there are the additional money worries at this time of year too.

I try to be extra kind to myself when I feel under pressure like this and make sure I have an extra long bath, or buy a small food treat, or just find time to go for a walk on one of the brighter days - just so that I feel as though I am not doing absolutely everything for other people, with nothing coming back for me.

Big hug to you and always remember that nothing stays the same forever, so whatever is particularly hard right now won't be for long.

Thank you bibliomania - I think you're right. The weather changing doesn't help. Got my vitamin D on the go and I think it is about holding the line now. Thank you.

treaclepie - Yes, that exactly. It feels almost like you have to do a day's work before you can do a day's work.

Margo - Yes Christmas is really a challenge. Like you say with socialising and also I have family to cope with this year which I'd rather not.

I just had an ill child over the weekend and am feeling a bit under the weather myself (not ill enough to be 'ill il' though!) so I think maybe I'm just feeling a touch fragile and overwhelmed today. Thank you

I get this and I'm not a single parent so I don't have the workload you do. You sound so sensible about it all and proactive with the strategies you have in place, I don't want to sound patronising but well done you! I don't have the the mental fortitude you do and just grit my teeth and hope or the best. It's a horrible grind getting on with daily life whilst lugging around the weight of mental illness, that constant feeling of trying to keep your head above water is exhausting and sometimes it just feels like too much. You sound like you are approaching it all with a very level head when most would succumb to the overwhelming urge to throw themselves a pity party (like I do), your mental strength is admirable.

Neededastealthname - I dunno about that, I sometimes feel really resentful or pity party-y. I think because I do manage ok for a good deal of the time, it's hard to explain it when things do get on top of me.

I tend to have a family member or two who then see it as me 'not trying hard enough' or even that I'm just deliberately feeling depressed . I have to walk a line between kicking my own ass to do stuff and not kicking it so hard I collapse.

It is a constant weight - I totally get it. Feeling like you are always treading water day in, day out, to stay afloat, before you even get started on all the things other people do. for you.

Yes I know what you mean, the constant grinding fight to just get to a place where you can get 'normal' things done.
And then life throws a curve ball and completely turns you upside down because you've had no time to register or prepare yourself to deal with it, so you go ahead and deal with it like everyone else, and disintegrate afterwards. Can be weeks for me before I actually deal with something like that mentally. But it comes and it scares me to death that this time it's going to push my stupid brain too far and I won't have the strength to fight back this time.
It's exhausting and then like you, I have a close relative that thinks my mental health issues are somehow there just to annoy them and I'm just being dramatic and awkward.
It's hard isn't it, holding it all together.
One thing I hold on tight to though is that although I feel the lows really badly, I feel the good times as keenly too and I'm grateful for that.
Keep on keepin' on - you're amazing

MySparkling - Thank you so much. The messages this morning on this thread really cheered me up and I had a good cry and now feel less overwhelmed.

I'm the same as you - feel the highs amazingly, which I try and keep hold of when the lows hit me. I try not to keep going on past the point of exhaustion, but like you, I get scared that once I stop, it'll be collapse. It's getting better, bit at a time. I hope it will for you too.