I am just going to clarify that my parents are kind, generous, intelligent and wonderful people who have given me an adopted upbringing and childhood with opportunities that I may never have had. I am truly grateful for all that they have done, and I know that they would do anything to help me and ensure my well-being was ok.
Having said all this, they have always (my DM in particular) been overprotective - I was 3 months premature and weaned off drugs so I think that they have always considered me as their ‘helpless’ little girl. I’m now aged 37, happily married with 2 DC and I still feel that my parents are doing a lot to help me out financially etc. My DM has always been quite overbearing in some ways, and sometimes a difficult woman to please. I know she’s ultra critical of people / herself at times and I feel like she has had a detrimental effect on my self esteem, confidence, mental health and ability to be a fully functioning independent adult who can thrive in society.
I have had a good career for over a decade, and now I have been out of work for over a year (after years of health problems, my DB passing away last year, and having my DS in June), I feel really dependent on my parents again for financial support while my DS is a baby. My DH works hard and earns a good salary but it isn’t enough to make ends meet and my parents help out with money for food each month.
I do feel eternally grateful for all that they do, but at times I am resentful of my lack of independence, and how I cannot seem to cut the apron strings entirely. It is a bit pathetic to be honest, and at times I feel ashamed that I am like this.
AIBU to think a lot of overprotective parents aren’t always doing their children a favour in the long run? I’m not saying that I would have been any more confident, but I wonder whether life might have been a bit different if they hadn’t been so mollycoddling,