AIBU - Family member and buying a house

[CinnamonandGinger]

Hi all,

AIBU to ask you all for your advice on this situation, please?

My sibling and I work in London, and we both live in separate rented flatshares.

A close family member has very, very generously offered to buy a house for my sibling and I either in or around London.

The family member has specified that they would like their money to be used to buy a house and not a flat, as they do not want their money to be used to buy a leasehold property.

The family member is also interested in the money being used to buy a house that could be converted into two flats (one flat for my sibling and the other for me).

The reason for the family member being interested in converting the house is because their money would go further if they bought one house than if they bought two separate flats.

However, I’m not sure how straightforward it is for one house to be converted into two flats and I’m not sure it’s necessary. I’ve tried to tell this to the family member, and they have suggested that I’m ungrateful when I mention this.

I’m absolutely not ungrateful at all, and would like to find a way of politely and constructively asking the family member why they think concerting the house into two flats is so important.

Could you advise on how I can approach this with the family member, please?

Thanks very much!

You could say that unfortunately not all houses can be converted into flats.

You need to get building regulations permission and that takes time to get. Maybe planning permission as well, and an architect and a builder.

It’s the golden rule. He who has the gold makes the rules.

They want a house which will be split into flats.

Splitting it is actually fairly easy but there are associated costs.

The key thing here is who is paying for those costs, because putting in an extra kitchen and bathroom moving the walls etc. Isn’t cheap.

One suggestion/compromise would be you agree to a house and suggest the house get split into flats only when you and sibling move out (so the bathroom and kitchen etc are “brand new” for the new tenants/when it is sold)

Your family member is stumping up the cash so if s/he wants a house split into two flats then that's the deal. Take it or leave it.

Is the generous relative gifting the house to you and your sibling, or is he/she retaining ownership?

If the former, I don't see that it's any of their business what you do with the house after you move in. Do you want to share with your sibling though?

If the latter, you'll just need to find a house that already has planning permission for a conversion. Paying for the required works would be the relative's responsibility as it would be their house.

It’s a very generous offer but practically there is a lot to agree on before you proceed.

What happens if you buy a house but then get refused but planning to convert to flats?
Will you end up sharing with your sibling indefinitely?
What about if one of you wants to move a partner in - will the other person be ok with that?
What happens if one of you wants to leave the house, eg to move jobs to a different city or to move in with a partner?
What if the sibling left behind then moves in a friend / partner and either profits from rent (friend) or benefits from having a partner move in (if the other sibling moved out because they wanted to go and live with someone else, I can see this causing a load of issues).
At what point does the house get sold? If it’s to be your and your siblings I definitely, how will you split (a) mortgage payments (if any) and (b) equity if only one of you ends up living there for less rent/rent free for more years than the other?

A lot of councils don't like their housing stock of potential family homes being turned into flats.

Let them find houses that would fit their brief. I bet they can't find any. Then suggest just a normal house at that point.

Is the family member buying a house and letting you live in it or buying a house and giving it to you?

What say do you have in location etc? Can you sell after a year or two or will you be able expected to live in it long term?

It might take linger to find a house that fits your relatives specifications, and then to undertake the renovations. But why not let it play out and see what happens. It might resolve itself of the ideal property doesn’t materialise. Or a perfect place might come up.

If they're being so generous to buy a house for you I think they should take into consideration your interests too.

Find out more information as to why they're so keen on getting a house that can be converted into two flats?

And stress the fact you don't mind sharing an entire house with sibling

You have to get a mortgage company to agree, is that the plan to have a mortgage?