Aibu to not feel adequately “thanked”

[Livelaughlovetoday]

My sister planned a weekend away what was supposed to be a night away turned into 3 nights. I took care of my nephews while she was away, incl school drop off/pick up’s 15 miles away from where I am, while juggling my children’s schedules too.

I adore my nephews and am more than happy to have them anytime.

My problem is after being away she arrived home, didn’t say thank you for having her boys. Didn’t buy me a bunch of flowers or bottle of wine or even a box of chocolates or anything.

Aibu to think this would be a normal thing to show appreciation to someone like this?

I don’t do “favors” in the hope of “payment by thank you gift type scenario”, but not being thanked makes me feel like it’s expected or not really appreciated or valued.

Very graceless. I hope she’s saving it all up for Christmas?

I'd be fucked off. Don't ever do childcare for her again!

don't expect anything from her for Christmas as i suspect you'd have a long wait.

When she asks you for her gift just say 'you had it when I looked after your kids for 3 days'.

I have a friend a bit like this. I simply claim things back from her. For example I said 'since you owe me a million hours of childcare you can help build my shed!' She never says no

Very rude, I'd have to mention it if it was my sister

ooh, reading how 1 became 3, I would be having a serious talk!

How rude. We did this for my SIL one year. I had her boys and mine, so a full house of boys between 6 and 12. Chaos, all the kids had fun and she came back with presents for all the boys for being good. That was fine with me, I didn't need chocolates or flowers but she did say thank you and meant it.

YANBU, that is very rude, family or not.

That is so rude. I would expect effusive thanks and hugs and a small gift from the trip away.

OTH I can remember being (privately) very scathing to my DH about a friend who came to stay and was the only one of the fairly large group we hosted that weekend who didn’t bring a hostess gift and/or leave a thank you card. A few days later we received a parcel of beautiful, personally engraved champagne flutes she had secretly ordered at a trip to a local place of interest. So that shut me up! Perhaps your sister has a similar gesture planned.

Very thoughtless of your dsis.. is be not happy too...it's not hard to thank someone..
Lots of cfs around

Given that she had an explanation ready for why it was your fault not hers that you didn't know about it being 3 nights not 1, she sounds like one of those people who are never wrong and won't admit to it. So don't bother telling her about it as she'll have some explanation for why you were wrong to expect it / didn't hear when she said it or some such. However, do learn from it and don't agree to do this again. Actions and consequences are what folk like this respond to.

Thanks for some reassurance.

I cannot talk about this with dsis, it will expand and become a much bigger issue which could most likely result in us not seeing my nephews.

YANBU. However, by deciding not to say anything, you are effectively saying that sort of behaviour is ok. It isn't. She won't think anything of asking again - or just assuming you'll be ok with it. If you don't say something now, it will be more difficult to say no next time, or the time after that. I never understand why people can't bring themselves to bring things like this up if it bothers them so much. It's keeping silent which enables CF behaviour in the first place.

OP, if you don't talk about it, she will keep taking advantage of you.

I cannot talk about this with dsis, it will expand and become a much bigger issue which could most likely result in us not seeing my nephews.

i'd take that risk - her veiled threat of no contact with your nephews would be vv short lived. She needs you more than you need to see the nephews and she knows it which is why she spits the dummy to manipulate you emotionally.