Aibu or his this amount of work fine.

[Harleyisme]

Have a 5 year old with sen no diagnosis as of yet. Hes currently tracking at 2 and ahalf years behind.
Hes lilac band wordless reading books. He hasn't master the basics yet in phonics phase2. School say he will be tested on his reading soon and won't pass as he can't answer where is the book setting? If you say to him where is graffulo (for example) he will say forrest. But the school says that he has to answer the question where is the book setting to be able to pass the test and can move on.
Hes currently got a reading book and phonics work book which is saying phonic sound and learning the first set on tricky words. Ds hasnt got though the sounds yet. Also has a booklet to learn to write the cursive letters they want me to do a letter a week. Then theres the numbers to learn to write. Ds can't hold a pen yet and is struggling with writing. Now we also have a snap game to play to sound out the animals names. A game to match the phonic sounds to pictures. A booklet to write certain sounds to finish the word of which is 6 pages long. And we get randam worksheets and told that he doesnt have to do them but if he does he will get a dojo. These worksheets are repeat work of what hes been doing in class. We also have 10 spellings to be working on. Now don't get me wrong i am very willing to help my ds and i am not saying i won't do any of this but is this really helpful to push so much on a reception child. They continue to tell me hes doing ok and hes not struggling just learns alot slower than anyone else. He says hes struggling and finds it so hard.

Bump

The amount of homework seems a lot, however, as he’s tracking so far behind it’s likely the extra is to try to address this.

Do they suspect a SEN diagnosis? Has he been assessed by and Educational Psychologist?

Spellings are useless for a child who can’t read so I’d ignore those. Is also ignore the stuff about ‘what’s the setting of the book’.

How much do you read to him? Does he LIKE books?

I’d suggest some routines put in place to try to make progress and stick to:

Reading books to him
Working your way through a recognised phobics course with him
Practising his handwriting
Learning numbers and counting

If you can afford it there are lots of ‘getting ready for school’ type books which are helpful.

FWIW, my son has HFA - his reading is exceptional but his writing was utterly woeful. Since September we have 10mins a day writing practise and the improvement is amazing - It’s fine from illegible scratches to properly formed legible words.

I hope you can make some progress.

Yes had an EP assesment she doesn't believe hes as far behind as his tracking makes him.
I read his reading book with him daily, i read at least one book a day to him.
We work on the basic phonics using cards games. We look for letters and numbers when we are out and about. I try keep things fun and interesting.
Before he started school he loved to read and play these type of games with me. Now even the things he says he loves to do are a struggle. Handwriting i have been more working on him actually pick uo a pen and Mark making as this is still pretty much where is is. So i havent got to the actual practice of letters but actaully getting him to pick up a pen and even draw. He full fist graps and if i tell him to pinch ( school asked me to) then he downs tools and won't do anymore. To be honest he pinchs the pen so hard his fingers turn red and it looks like it hurts.
School suspect something just not sure what. SALT suspects Asd.

For comparison, my dd is in reception at an outstanding school which is known for being really academic. She gets a reading book, to be taken back whenever she wants. We get a booklet every few weeks to practice writing letters but it's optional and doesn't have to be returned. Occasionally there'll be another bit of homework like a drawing or a poster or something.

Yours does sound excessive, especially spellings. How are they supposed to learn to spell when they're just getting to grips with phonics?

Thats the question i asked about spellings. The spellings are for a school spelling bee that tgey are doing only the chilrden that can do it will.
Most of what i am given for ds isnt home work that everyone gets its to help him catch up. I just dont know if all the additonal things is to much pressure. I know they say 5 to 10 minutes on reading then same on phonics then same on numbers then the same on the additonal things it all adds up. I was even told to day it beeds doing saturday and sunday as well no breaks.

Has he got any particular interests? My son is obsessed with cars - I can get further with him if I build activities around cars.

Eg. Let’s write a sentence about your favourite car. What are some words we could use to describe this car? Let’s sound out one of those words etc.

My son is very difficult to persuade so there can be a lot of bargaining and bribery - can be tiresome but usually works reasonably well.

The EP doesn’t sound very helpful. Do you have any spare money to pay for a private ASD assessment?

Certain people seem to be his obsession. Hes never been obsessed about a interest tv programme or item. I try use there names of the people hes obsessed with.

Thats what haunts me the fact we can't afford to go private.

It’s such a lottery, whether you get decent support. We’ve been very lucky as school pushed the referral and we had the diagnosis just before the end of Reception but this seems unusual. I’ve had lots of support and no ‘struggle’ - it’s a disgrace that it’s not like that everywhere.

Is he resistant to learning? Does he not want to? Or is he willing but it won’t go in?

Is he very firm in his ideas about what he should be doing?

Do you think he has ASD?

Hes not resistance hes frustrated. He tries so hard all of the time. He will get it once then seems to struggle to get it again. Hes not very consistant if i am honest. The school seem to think hes holding back as he manges to do it once then not again. I think he struggles with memory. SALT gave me a game to do where you have objects on the table cover them remove one then show them and they have to say which ones gone he never seems to get it just says all of the objects that are there.
Sometimes I think ASD, hes very litreal doesn't get jokes, strict in his routine, very sensory in eating sounds touching, hes very over affectionate even with people he doesn't know. But then there's days i think theres more too it and can't exactly explain why its feelings more than anything which i can't explain why i have them.
Some days he seems happy at school then days like today i am not sure he walked into the yard with a smile told the head teacher who was in the yard hes happy we went to his class room sorted out his book bag and coat. When i was leaving he tried to leave with me and i had to redirect him into his class and his teacher said come on ds this way. He didn't cry or get upset just seemed like he was trying to come with me.

I think you should be pushing for a proper diagnosis - either via your GP or the school.

We have a peaditrcian appoinment on thursday and i will be taking everything inahve with me his work what extra they are setting all reports and the letter fron school thats states hes doing ok not struggling to prove that actually he is.