Stopping breastfeeding and really weepy!

[Whyyounoeatmypie]

Last night was the first time I didn't feed DS 2.5 to sleep or at all in the night. He'd pretty much weaned himself off apart from that but it's definitely time to stop - uncomfortable for me, he has said he doesn't get much milk out now, and he's reacted pretty well when I've said it hurts amd would he luke a cuddle instead. Then last night he was super upset and I felt evil, was up all night and like the walking dead today. He was a bit upset going to sleep without a feed but I think it'll be when he wakes up in the night that he'll be really upset again.

I am fully sure it's time to stop, but just deel so emotional - hormones I know - and am also getting sweaty and swollen-titted which is apparently a thing and isn't helping!

Any experiences of doing this? Indications of how long I should expect the upset to last/my breasts to be like bloody rocks/to feel postnatal levels od mood swings?

Ugh typos sorry. No sleep.

No experience, but after 2.5 years, bound to be hard on both of you. If it’s the right time, it’s the right time. Hopefully someone with direct experience of later weaning than I have will be along shortly. I would say based on my children as toddlers, once you have made a decision, stick with it. They will push every kind of button, but if you give in, they will up the ante as they know you’ll cave in the end. They are tiny tyrants, and are experts in --getting what they want- - survival skills

I'd be using a pump if I was you and then slowly reduce pumping, you might end up with mastitus if you just stop and let your boobs fill up. I've only experience with stopping breastfeeding 1 of my children (I'm currently still feeding a 17 month old). With my first she pretty much self weaned at 13 months, I was down to only feeding once a day and then one day she just didn't want it anymore, I wasn't making much milk by then so I didn't get hard, sore boobs.

Not sure about the emotional side of things, I was already 5 months pregnant with my second when I stopped feeding so I didn't feel sad or emotional, more relief at a short break!

I'm sure it'll all calm down once your body stops producing milk, is some of the emotional feelings you being sad at stopping or is it all hormonal?

Sorry no advice as not got to that stage myself, but just wanted to say maybe express a little bit (even just by hand) to ease the discomfort, the last thing you want is blocked ducts or mastitis. Hope you both have a peaceful night.

I remember reading this blog post a couple of years ago about post-breastfeeding depression. You might find it helpful.

cupofjo.com/2012/02/motherhood-mondays-the-hardest-two-months-of-my-life/

Get in a hot shower and use your hands to express. You'll get through this. It's time.

Thanks everyone. I thought I'd get away without the hard breasts as I was only feeding at night but apparently not, urgh.

The emotional stuff is partly guilt/fear of him hating me and partly hormonal...will give that blog a look thank you...

Well done for completing a successful breastfeeding journey. It can be sad to move on to a new chapter of your life, but nothing can last forever. As PP said, keep pumping a bit off. I think you're right, it is time. If he wakes in the night, just give a cuddle. This too shall pass.

It is hard, I stopped 2 months ago just after DS's 2nd birthday and still feel a bit guilty, but it does get easier.

For the engorgement, you can take decongestants like Lemsip (or anything containing phenylephrine) which reduce supply, and the paracetamol will help with discomfort too - assuming you have no other health reasons for not taking these.

I've just been through the same thing with DS the same age. I'd laid the groundwork with a few days of telling him the mummy milk was running out and would soon be gone, so it wasn't a shock to him when I told him it had all gone. I used to feed him to sleep but now we turn the lights off and listen to an audio book and cuddle which settles him down and he's fallen asleep okay. In the night I've made sure to have a cup of water handy so if he does wake up wanting a drink I can give him an alternative, and a cuddle. My boobs thankfully didn't get too full, you should probably hand express some off just to avoid mastitis.
For three weeks after weaning my hormones and emotions were all over the place, I was snappy and weepy and felt down all the time, but then I went back to normal. I was worried about missing the closeness but we still have loads of snuggles and it is such a relief to feel like my boobs are mine again and I no longer have to deal with nipple twiddling! Hope things settle down for you quickly.

Totally normal to feel like this and it’s hormonal and will Pass. I had it very badly with my fourth child and found a vitamin B complex helpful.

for you. It's so sad when they self wean. My eldest was 15 months and I was so sad but I was pregnant with her sister and I think my milk changed and she'd cry and pull away. Middle one fed until she was 3.5 and my youngest is 4 in January and has tonight only had one side and I feel a little upset. He only feeds at bedtime now so it's a big thing for him to be showing signs of stopping that. Although this last week he has been asking randomly once a day too or sometimes first thing. I did wonder if he'd beat his sister but never thought he'd still be feeding at nearly 4. His latch isn't great now so I'll be glad in a way when he stops but I'll really miss it. Well done for feeding for so long. It's such an amazing thing to do if you can. Maybe you can still have snuggle time without the feed itself? That's what I'm going to do and have more bedtime stories.

Sorry, just re-read your OP and realised I've got the wrong end of the stick slightly with the self weaning

A long time ago now , I stopped feeding DD ( she was over 2 years old at the time )

I found it terribly emotional , I knew she was my last baby , and it was almost grieving as I knew there wouldn’t be another baby to feed

I didn’t have engorging, no pain just the heartache

Thanks for all these replies! @TillyTheTiger that sounds like a really good plan, and @PerverseConverse we've definitely been upping snuggles and stories!

He is actually snuggled up to me happily asleep right now - has woken twice but very happy with cuddles so I'm feeling much better if still engorged and night-sweaty!