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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to be around FIL??

8 replies

Kindofnewtothis · 25/11/2018 13:42

Hi there, this is my first post so sorry if it's a bit all over! Long time MN creeper, first time poster Blush

A few weeks ago at DPs family home, FIL was telling us a story about how a young girl still at university who was working part time at his place had almost been sacked and he'd saved her job, being recently promoted to supervisor. We all thought this was really sweet of him as he is seen as lovely big fat caring old bloke.

Fast forward a few weeks, maybe a month or so, and it has come to light that he has been having an AFFAIR with this young girl. He's 56 years old ffs and shes about 19!!!!!! An affair is bad enough but that is just creepy and soooo wrong.

DP kicked off but already within a few days it seems like it's being swept under the rug. I know that it's technically not my family so not my business but I feel really uncomfortable going to their house now, usually we visit at least once a week. I just can't get over what he's done. MIL is so lovely and quiet and sweet and they always seemed like a lovely couple growing old together.

I told DP that I don't feel comfortable going round anymore and that I don't really want to be around his dad if I can help it. He seems upset by this which is obvious and I am being here for him but I just can't face his dad, at least yet. AIBU?

OP posts:
AiryFairyUnicornRainbow · 25/11/2018 13:55

The Dad is a creep of the highest order

However it doesn't mean he is going to be sexually attracted to everyone

I think if MIL wants to sweep it under the rug (and whether we agree with her choice is a moot point) but it IS her choice - then it is not your place to make things difficult - as it will effect her too.

Id continue as normal (but secretly hate him for what he has done)

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 25/11/2018 14:00

Where's MIL? Are they still together?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 25/11/2018 14:02

You may not like what he has done but if MIL is prepared to forgive and forget you have to go along with that or risk causing arguments between yourself and your DH and yourself and MIL.

Kindofnewtothis · 25/11/2018 14:03

AiryFairy thanks, I think that's good advice and has put things into perspective

OP posts:
Kindofnewtothis · 25/11/2018 14:04

Yes she's still in the house!

OP posts:
Kindofnewtothis · 25/11/2018 14:06

You're all right now I come to think of it. I do have to respect MIL and don't want more reasons for arguments between DP and I. I will still visit as normal but maybe be busy running errands some weeks Blush

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 25/11/2018 14:06

Is he still seeing the younger woman? MIL knows all about it? What's going on here?

paintinmyhairAgain · 25/11/2018 14:28

sometimes it's easier to stick your head in the sand, there is every chance mil does know, but quietly gets on with things so not to cause upset, fil is a different thing all together...eurgh Envy def. not envy

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