to not bite my tongue this time

[inlectorecumbit]

DH and l were going to go out tonight for a meal and catch up. My lovely SIL offered to host as she has youngish DC's. Fair enough.
Other SIL and l offered to bring along a main and desert each- all good.
Now DFIL and his DP are coming along. I love DFIL but his partner is just not a nice woman at all, she constantly makes cutting and sarcastic remarks but we tolerate her for FIL sake.
However l am a veggie and have made two meat free dishes (DH and the rest are happy with this) but l know l am going to be subjected to multiple comments ranging from being inconsiderate to others and being ridiculous in my eating and drinking habits.( i am the driver and tend just to drink tap water)
So WIBU to bite back this time and can anyone give me a clue on how to shut her down.. it will go on all night.
Please ..DH says just laughat her but l am not good at that.

I’d look at her for a moment, then say ‘Did you say something?’ Or my favourite, ‘I don’t remember asking your opinion.’

Pick up a tin of corned beef on the way and lob it at her the moment she’s starts.

1. pretend you haven't heard what she has said - multiple times - and keep getting her to repeat it.
2. when she has repeated a number of times repeat what she has said very slowly back to her, sounding good natured but bemused.
3. then pretend you genuinely can't understand what she means and ask her incredulous questions.
4. loudly repeat to others at the table and ask if they have ever heard anything so odd as what she is saying.

All done with a good natured smile, as if you really are desperately trying to understand her p.o.v.

I wouldn't go looking for an argument in someone else's house TBH

If you are expecting her to be rude, you will likely hear her say things that you perceive to be rude. I'm not saying that she isn't a horrible person, but you do seem to be anticipating her attitude hours and hours ahead of seeing her

OP, decide you are not going to let her get to you. If she passes a smart remark, pretend you only half heard it. Ask her to repeat it. Look bemused but don't engage further. Focus on the other, nicer people there.

^^ Do this

Id love to say something witty to respond with

But in reality, I probably wouldn't respond (other than in my head calling them cunts)

OR you could All bring vege and tell your FIL to tell his delightful partner to go to some where like Steaks R us or some such!

I would gather a pile of restaurant takeaway flyers and put them aside next to her. When she moans about something, say something like 'oh I'd thought you'd have an issue with the food' - and give her the stack of flyers.

Not like directly next to her but on a shelf near her or something

Say "Oh don't feel obliged to eat it if you don't like it", whip her plate away and scrape her food into the bin.

Every
Single
time

she moans :)

Is the other SIL taking meat dishes?

If so-what's the problem?

Give her a fast food menu to the number for dominos

text her before you go "just to let you know mil we are bringing just veggie options...as always eh.so if you want anything meat bring it along.see you soonxx"

Put a couple of take away flyers to one side. If she makes a comment say 'I knew you would make a comment about the food, so I prepared this'. Hand her the takeaway flyers and say 'Sort yourself out as nothing seems to make you happy'

BUT DON'T PAY

"No problem, you can just eat whatever you brought."

I probably wouldn't even grace her with a response. Just literally ignore her presence and focus on the other people.

Thanks lots of options to consider.
lovely SIL is making something with chicken amongst other things
Other SIL (equally lovely) taking macaroni cheese with bacon l believe
I have made a mushroom quiche and chana saag masala

DP's partner (not MIL thankfully and never will be) has been known to partake in a few alcoholic beveridges and then drive although l have not witnessed this myself. I am feeling a bit apprehensive about going - she has that affect on me - but time l put on my big girl's pants and grow a pair.
I have asthma and currently have a chronic cough ( all asthma not infection). I am sure the comments about my cough will be flying too
I will report back later...

I don't see what she has to moan about food wise then & if she thought that there would be nothing for her then she could find out what people are taking & make something for herself.

If you insisted that everyone only took veggie food (to someone elses house) then she ight have a point about inconsiderate.

I think I'd be qanting to say something back but would be nervous about seeming rude myself.

I thin as pps have put, often the best way is to get them to dig a deeper holeask for an explanation of what they meant.

"It is 2018 you know, and not at all unusual for anyone to eat a meat-free meal. People have moved on from the full meat and 2 veg meals of the old days." And smile.

"As well as being completely antisocial and irresponsible, its rightly frowned upon these days to drink and drive, not like years ago."

*dull meat and 2 veg meals.

I don't think I'd be biting my tongue. You've got some great suggestions on this thread. Good luck Op

I'd tell her to take a seat and shut her mouth

I'd just go with big smile & breezy 'social etiquette just isn't your thing is it, bless you'. Then subject change. Recipient usually looks embarrassed & shuts the up.

Say "Okaaaay" in a patronising tone and move the conversation on to a completely different subject, like Brexit or bananas, anything really.

I would speak to her only if she’s polite. Otherwise ignore her.

If pushed I’d point out that’s she’s being rude and you’re not giving rudeness your time

Just wondering how it went OP.