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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fuming at my neice.

46 replies

AllYouHaveToDoIsStay · 25/11/2018 10:16

Im just so pissed off... i spend a lot of time at my sisters house, Her kids are out of control and she doesent give a fuck... seriously. She has 2 boys who are 13 and 15, and a girl who is 17. Yesterday i was at her house with my kids who are 12 and 16. it was like 9pm and they were out in the driveway for some reason. Now my neice(17) has has had like 1 driving lesson and thats it, she has no license or doesen`t know how to drive. a few minutes late i looked out the window and my neice was speeding down the street back and forth in her mums car!!! my 12 year old was in the car with all of my sisters kids. I went outside and made her pull over, i was fuming shouting at her, while my sister stood there laughing! like what the fuck!?!? i took them straight home. would i be unreasonable to stop going over because i fear my childrens safety?#

OP posts:

DeaflySilence · 25/11/2018 11:33

"my 12 year old was in the car with all of my sisters kids."

Your niece was clearly the 'biggest' culprit and broke the law, although it sounds as if all the youngsters were part of it, so should all be punished (your 12 year old included, unless he/she was forced or bullied into getting in the car).

It doesn't sound as if your sister will punish her family though so, yes, stay away and, if family circumstances dictate that you are all together, just insist your two stay with you.

Well done on your 16 year old for staying out of things, if they did, but your 12 year old needs a 'chat' about not getting involved and putting themselves in unsafe situations.

MoseShrute · 25/11/2018 11:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Missingstreetlife · 25/11/2018 11:46

Even if she is insured it will be invalid because she is not supervised, police need to be informed

Angrybird345 · 25/11/2018 11:51

I wouldn’t be exposing my family to that, keep your kids away from them all. Your niece should be reported.

IStandWithPosie · 25/11/2018 11:53

Why do you spend so much time there when you clearly have no respect for any of the people there??

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 25/11/2018 11:56

My nephew did this from the age of about 14. Where I live it's considered fairly normal (very rural area with loads of kids driving tractors and quads etc). His parents never cared so long as they didn't have to bother with him. I reported it online (crimestoppers maybe, can't remember) and the police caught him. I don't know what the consequences were, but I don't think it stopped him for long.

recklessruby · 25/11/2018 12:01

Illegal and irresponsible. YANBU to keep your dc away.
Your sister is in line for a big shock one day. She won't be laughing when the police are on her doorstep about her dd s behaviour.
What s wrong with her?
I still remember being 17 and in the middle of learning to drive my parents went on holiday and left the car I was getting when I passed on the driveway and the keys in the house.
My cousin, then 16 and I thought it would be a right lark to take it into town. But we didn't DO it coz we were shit scared of the police and what our parents would do when they found out!!
But your niece just does it right there with her mum's encouragement!
That is not parenting. Please make sure your dc know how dangerous this is and that their auntie is a numpty of the highest order!

guessmyusername · 25/11/2018 12:29

How did she get 1 driving lesson with no license? I thought the instructor asked you to produce it before your first lesson, or at least that is what happened to everyone I know.

recklessruby · 25/11/2018 12:42

You only get asked for your provisional licence at driving lessons. This wouldn't cover her to drive alone or with others.
It's just so you can learn on the road with an instructor or authorised driver and they must have insurance for you on the vehicle.
Provisional licence = not allowed to drive alone or with others as passengers =no insurance= big fine or ban.

Serialweightwatcher · 25/11/2018 14:09

Your sister is a total moron - I remember once watching Judge Judy and a 13 year old lad had taken a girl for a ride in his parents' car just round a field in America - the lad hit the only tree in the field and the girl was killed .. the mother of the girl was suing the lad's mother - his mother said it was the girl's fault for getting in the car with him WTF - she was an out and out bitch and had no empathy with the other mother who was in tears. Judge Judy awarded the girl's mum as much as was possible and was disgusted that the other mother had left the keys around and had allowed him. Your sister needs to wake up before something terrible happens

Original poster

AllYouHaveToDoIsStay · 25/11/2018 14:15

i called my sister and gave her a telling off, she got mad and said "don`t tell me how to parent my kids"! FFS

OP posts:

ohwawawa · 25/11/2018 14:24

My sister is just like yours, an irresponsible mother who doesen`t give a shit. but i just brush it off, i would never stop my kids from seeing them though.

flumpybear · 25/11/2018 14:25

Your sister is a shit parent and has brought up her kids that way - it's nature/nurture, suspect they'll all be just as unruly. I'd stay clear of them and tell your own kids how awful their behaviour is so they learn !

HashTagLil · 25/11/2018 14:27

Can your parents get involved OP and talk to your sister/their daughter?

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 25/11/2018 14:29

would i be unreasonable to stop going over because i fear my childrens safety?

Why do you need to ask? Is this genuinely not a decision you feel able to make yourself?

FunkyKingston · 25/11/2018 14:30

Why are you taking your children vto a place where you know they are a risk? Why doesn't a 12 year old not know that he shouldn't be in a car with an unlicensed driver?

cadburysflake · 25/11/2018 14:58

Yep, I'd be reporting too. She isn't qualified to drive and shouldn't be on the road, she might decide to have a little ride around one day and cause a serious accident or knock someone down.

I wouldn't be visiting again if I was you, I wouldn't want my children to think that this kind of behaviour is OK.

ElideLochan · 25/11/2018 15:07

So why haven't you reported?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 25/11/2018 15:09

”i called my sister and gave her a telling off, she got mad and said "don`t tell me how to parent my kids"! FFS”

She thinks she parents her kids? She is deluded.

TwigTheWonderKid · 25/11/2018 15:12

This isn't just about your kids and her kids it's also about the poor random child who could one day wind up in hospital or worse because of your niece and sister's attitudes.

I seriously cannot believe you have not reported this to the police yet.

FunkyKingston · 25/11/2018 15:18

I'm sorry op but you need to lok at your own parenting as well before you start tearing a strip off your sister. If you know what your niece is like, why did you leave her with your children unattended whilst you sat in the house? Knowing she's older and badly behaved, why are you putting your kids in a risky situation by taking them round there and if you must take them, why aren't you supervising them properly and leavinf them to play outside in the dark at 9pm wirh someone who you don't trust?

Yes you niece abd sister sound shit, but it sounds you need to step up to the crease a bit too.

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