My 9 yr old is very aware he should not go in the girls changing/ toilets. He knows as his sister is a Rainbow and we have had a few gentle chats. since he was 7 he has changed and toileted alone when we are out.
He goes to a ballet class at a large place and he has been indignant two girls, he guesses around 7 and 9, are often in the boys changing room plus their mum. Obviously I don’t go in there myself. With the busy corridor I hadn’t noticed as I sit round the corner usually.
He reckons they go in there because it’s quiet (he’s the one of very few boys and there’s a lot of girls). Of course he may be wrong and there’s SN or other issues involved. The odd mum goes in to help a younger boy later on, but this doesn’t bother him. Girls his own age do. I can see his point as he changes from loose boxers to pants under a leotard (he generally hates pants but boxers are uncomfortable with a leotard).
I’m inclined to support him, as I’ve openly told him he can’t go in his sister’s/ mums space for years. How would you do it tactfully? Try to catch mum at the door for a quiet word? Ask the dance school? To say what, only parents? Children outside? I know younger boys may need help dressing and I don’t want to make that awkward. He doesn’t feel threatened as such by mothers/ carers in anyway, it’s a combination I guess of being a bit rule-bound, wanting fairness and already getting a bit of giggling about being a boy doing ballet and being sensitive to girls near his age giggling a lot at boys. I don’t know if they actually change in there or stay with a sibling as he bolts out when he sees them or goes into the toilet cubicle apparently. I just would like to ask gently the boys space is respected, without opening a whole can of worms that seems closed...