To resign from this volunteer post?

[Expatworkingmum]

A friend of mine was leading the events committee for a community we’re part of. She doesn’t work and her kids are grown-up.

I work full time and my kids are young. My job involves travel and often late night global conference calls.

She asked me to join the committee with her, saying it wouldn’t be much work, so I agreed.

A few weeks later she called me to say her father was sick and she needed to travel to see him, so would I take over the lead post. I said no as work keeps me busy, but she virtually begged and assured me I’d have her full support in anything I needed.

So I very reluctantly agreed and, what do you know, a few weeks later she called to say she was standing down from the committee entirely 🤨

Not only is it a ton of work, but the community leads are just horrible. Nothing myself and the committee do is enough (I’m supported by a couple of other people). Everything is an argument with the chair of the board and he is so unbearably rude.

The last straw was this week when I was told I ‘must do better’, because I missed an email on something completely unimportant, because my daughter was sick that day.

Everyone I talk to thinks I should stand down (and frankly, tell them to shove their role) but I feel very responsible. If I stand down there’s no one to take over this role, leaving this community (that means a lot to me) without someone to lead the committee.

Stand down. A paid job with stress is bad enough, an unpaid one intolerable.

Stand down.

I'm a volunteering type but I would stand down from this.
It sounds like you were upfront about what you were able to do and yet you've been manipulated into something else.
Walk away.

Definitely resign. I can't believe that last email, that's outrageous. It's not worth the stress and I forget the sense of obligation and not letting people down.

Just write an email with what you have written here, thank them and leave.

I know it is hard but you will feel so much better. Keep going along to whatever it is and doing the activity. There will be smaller, more manageable ways to be supportive.

Stand down. I stood down from a committee which had a power crazy person on it. My mental health was going downhill. Someone in a paid position tried desperately to get me to reconsider citing that he also had times where it felt too much. I pointed out the difference between volunteering and working and said my goodbyes. I'm so happy.

This is very easy. Stand down.

Stand down and the officious numpty that gave you grief can take on all responsibility!

Stand down. You are no more responsible to keep the committee going than anyone else in the community.

Stand down. You must.

I would stand down.

Yes, stand down. She palmed it off on you. It's not what you agreed you could manage. And don't feel guilty.

1. Stand down
2. Your friend is not a friend.

Stand down. You have your own health and responsibilities at the moment. Its wonderful that you wanted to help but it seems you were railroaded into an impossible position. Look into doing this in the future when things are less stressful.

My neighbours elderly mother volunteered at a charity shop, she loved meeting people and it got her out of her flat and was good for her mental health. New manager arrived and was constantly on the volunteers backs, ordering them about etc. I know charity shops are businesses but you shouldn't piss of people who have given up their time to support the charity for free.

Stand down.
Life is too short to have to deal with this much stress . You have gone beyond your comfort zone and it wasn't appreciated by those who should be falling at your feet.
As a PP said, email the committee exactly as you wrote in your op. They need to know why its not acceptable to push volunteers so hard they have no option but to leave.

I work full time, have two small children and do a voluntary role for a community group that is important to me. If those I worked with in the voluntary role behaved like these people I would quit immediately. Totally unacceptable.

Stand down, make it clear that it was the other annoying woman who unreasonably manipulates you into the situation and ex-communicate her immediately.

Stand down it’s affecting your mental well being. Send an email, don’t bother going back.

Stand down immediately.

Can you see you were tricked by your friend? She got someone to replace her and fucked off.

Your ‘friend’ did this deliberately to get out of it. She would have planned it from the start.

You were tricked into taking the role so there’s no shame in standing down.

Sometimes quitting is exactly the right thing to do.

I ended up as chair of two voluntary groups; the work was horrendous. Like you, the causes were important to me but I had to stand down when I had two close family members die within 6 weeks. The relief was instant.
Stand down.

Definitely quit! Send the email now. State the reasons you gave. You took on what was meant to be a very minor role, you've been forced into the lead, you have a demanding full time job and a family. You simply do not have time for their crap.