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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask you if it is a normal part of grown-up life to worry that much about your spouse you cannot sleep

19 replies

ConfusedWife1234 · 25/11/2018 02:08

I am totally honest. Is it? They say life is perfect only in childhood (because you do not understand yet what the world is like) and that everybody has their problems but they often hide it (and so do I).

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BastardGoDarkly · 25/11/2018 02:12

Why are you worrying? If they're ill, then fine, if not, then no I wouldn't say normal.

ConfusedWife1234 · 25/11/2018 02:18

Yes, he is mentally ill, he has got ptsd... but not a bad case... he works, he cares for his family... but constantly gives me reason to worry.

Right now I am a bit worried because he had a nightmare and drank a bottle of wine and feel asleep on the sofa... I wonder if he drinks to much... I feel that there is constantly something to worry about in him. But actually I heard that one third of people have a mental health desease. So I wonder if this is just normal part of grown up life.

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moita · 25/11/2018 02:21

No I have to be honest I don't and I love DH very much.

Are you okay OP? Is your DH getting help?

Lovingbenidorm · 25/11/2018 02:22

Worry is definitely a normal part of life. If you love someone then it’s not unusual to worry about them especially if they have MH issues. If you are losing sleep though I would suggest you look to your own MH.
I don’t think a bottle of wine is so shocking on a Saturday night

ConfusedWife1234 · 25/11/2018 02:26

Yes, I am okay. Just a little pissed off by grown-up life and trying to figure out if it is just MY grown-up life or if grown-up life is like this... and I am silly to expect eternal bliss.

He is seeing a therapist, he tried medication but decided it was not for him. I am trying to make him see other people who has ptsd.
He is not totally nuts or a lost case. If you met him you probably would not even realize he has ptsd.

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ConfusedWife1234 · 25/11/2018 02:30

You think a bottle of wine is okay. I hope you are right, maybe I am to critical because I f...ing hate alcohol... the thing that really stresses me: I think he is selfmedicating (because he had a nightmare) and I think his is not good... and that he was drinking alone. We went to bed early. DH had a nightmare and instead of waking me he had a bottle of wine alone.

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Greensleeves · 25/11/2018 02:33

Just because he is able to behave normally and people from outside might not pick up on his difficulties, that doesn't make your experience of living with his MH any less stressful. In fact, if he is maintaining "normal" and home is where his problems show, then you are carrying a heavy load as his partner, I think.

I have CPTSD. I have nightmares. I have mood swings. When I have to spend time out in the world doing normal adult life, the strain shows in private, with DH. I know he worries sometimes and I know I'm not always easy to be with - but he isn't awake at night worrying about me, so I wonder what exactly your DH is doing/saying that has unsettled you so much, or whether you have some anxiety yourself that you might need support for?

JellieEllie · 25/11/2018 02:35

Yes I think it can be normal (for people suffering anxiety) but for someone who isn't, then worrying a lot about things that end up making you restless and lose sleep is not considered normal.
I worry all the time about my partner (he isn't ill at all) I lay at night and imagine all sorts of horrors happening to him, I've even imagined having to visit him in the morgue in extensive detail and will break down crying. But I can't help it. The thoughts invade my mind.
I do have anxiety but it's progressively gotten worse to a point of impending doom which mostly happens when I get into bed.
You should try and speak about how you are feeling to a doctor. It may be that you could do with a little bit of help yourself to cope. It isn't easy to support someone with a mental illness.

Lovingbenidorm · 25/11/2018 02:36

confused I reckon Greensleeves is talking a lot of sense there. There is someone who understands what you’re going through, try to listen

ConfusedWife1234 · 25/11/2018 02:45

DH does not have mood swings... in fact the opposite is the case... do you know what I mean? He is always so... in control... that it is scary... sometimes he is a bit snobby and wanna-be-posh. That‘s how I actually can tell that he is feeling unwell... he starts acting wanna-be-posh.

But a few month ago he told me he was suicidal and I know he cannot stand Christmas and he sometimes needs to cry for no appearance reason over things having to do with Christmas.

Actually I am not sure if I have reasons for worry... I just do not know... because he does not talk... but he is acting wanna-be-posh and as I said this is not a good sign.

Actually I am typically not the anxious type... but do not know... this scares me.... plus another reason why I cannot sleep. We went to be at 9pm this day because Ds has kelt us awake the whole night yesterday.

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99RedBalloonsFloating · 25/11/2018 02:53

Does your husband spend as much time thinking about you, and your wellbeing, as you do of his?

Greensleeves · 25/11/2018 02:53

The "wannabe-posh" personasounds to me like a wall he is putting up, because behind that wall he is struggling and vulnerable. My DH has a "wannabe-posh" front that he puts on under pressure, as well - I know when he is doing it, but others don't. He does it because he learned it when he was younger and under stress, as a way of appearing to be coping when he had suffered a bereavement and wasn't offered any support. It "worked" then, so he uses it now when he feels like he isn't coping as well as he should be.

I have a "sarky, jokey cynic" persona that functions in much the same way. DH knows that when I am behaving like that, I am starting to crack and am throwing up a wall to maintain normality, for the children, for work, for other family etc. I think you need, in the longer term, to work with DH so that the two of you can agree that yes, you are sensitive to these changes in his behaviour, that you want to support and reinforce him, not expose him, and that he can let you behind that wall and let you be there for him.

First, though, I suggest that you get some support for yourself. You ay not be the anxious type - but you don't have to be to suffer anxiety, and having some anxiety now would be a normal reaction to the stress of coping with a spouse who has MH issues and who isn't allowing you to come into his bubble and support him. It doesn't mean you'll have anxiety forever. I'd have a chat to your GP, if you have one you can talk to?

ConfusedWife1234 · 25/11/2018 03:01

Redballoons My dh is not a very emotional guy. I have no idea how much he worries about me because he does not talk about that kind of things... but he works very hard for me and our four kids and I think this is how he shows his love. And I know he tries to be strong for me. I think this is the reason he did not wake me up but got drunk instead Sad.

Honestly I am not sure if I want to do that, chat with my go... because let’s say he puts me on medication. I stop worrying about dh... and one day I find him dead... or find out he became an alcoholic and I have been ignoring it. Know what I mean?

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Greensleeves · 25/11/2018 03:06

You can't be made to take medication if you don't want to - but most medications for anxiety don't alter your mental state to the point where you will just stop worrying, they just regulate you a bit so that your worry isn't so overwhelming that it disturbs your sleep.

There may be other support available depending on you and what would work for you - support groups, telephone support, maybe some counselling to give you a space to talk about your own feelings and anxieties? Do you have anyone that you can talk openly with about this? Definitely keep using MN, it's brilliant :)

EmeraldShamrock · 25/11/2018 03:07

You seem to be suffering lots of anxiety OP. Have you reasons to believe he will become an alcoholic and die. I see he has MHHNNN issues and is not a talker, I understand that it is hard. You are worried as you want to protect him, you are suffering too, he can probably see it, can you both speak to someone, help him open up to you.

EmeraldShamrock · 25/11/2018 03:11

Sorry not sure what happened to MH in pp, bloody autocorrect. Tell him you love him, shout from the rooftops you need him, if you think for a second suicide might be an option to him. Can you go away for Christmas for a non Christmassy time. He needs to get help, it is tough for you both.

ConfusedWife1234 · 25/11/2018 03:15

Do I have reasons to believe so. I am not sure? I think his do might be sort of an alcoholic... do not get me wrong. He is very much in control of his life. He has a good life but dh and his brothers worry that their df is an alcoholic and he really drinks a lot...in fact when I co plain about dh drinking to much, dh always says “look at my df, if you wanna see what drinking much really looks like“.

Do I have reasons to be afraid he dies? Not sure. He told me he was feeling suicidal month ago... and now he acts so wanna-be-posh and he hates Christmas and New Year’s Eve. It’s the most difficult time of the year for him.

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ConfusedWife1234 · 25/11/2018 03:17

Unfortunately we have obligations on Christmas and cannot go away.

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ConfusedWife1234 · 25/11/2018 03:18

*his df might be sort of an alcoholic, bloody autocorrect

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