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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Americans vs Brits

349 replies

WeirdHandDryers · 24/11/2018 22:50

What’s the difference? Because there is a massive difference but I can’t put my finger on what it is! I love America so this isn’t an American bashing thread, would just love to know if anyone else sees the massive difference between the average Brit and the average American?

OP posts:
Stringofpearls · 25/11/2018 05:34

@SofiaAmes I think you may be misinformed, I've never seen a toilet with a shelf in Britain, seen them in Germany a few times though!

This is a funny thread, stereotypes are so often outdated, mistaken or apply only to a narrow section of society. My Spanish students tell me that all us Brits eat strange sandwiches, eat chips every day and have carpeted bathroomsGrin

BMW6 · 25/11/2018 06:41

Sophia in my 60 years of living here (UK) I have never ever seen a toilet with any kind of shelf for poo to land on!

Artesia · 25/11/2018 07:12

Optimism v cynicism

Minesril · 25/11/2018 07:18

Sitting in a really nice restaurant in Florence. American comes in and are told they can have a table but can only stay I think for an hour. Man says very loudly something like 'we're American we can eat fast!' So in his case an unappreciation of nice food?

Another occasion an American was interviewing me for a job and kept asking me what my major was. Refused to believe that we don't have them!! So in his case an arrogant belief that he couldn't possibly be wrong and that other countries couldn't possibly do things differently?

OTOH I've known some lovely Americans who weren't loud at all - quite the opposite. Maybe that's why they were living in England.

Minesril · 25/11/2018 07:25

Just a thought - were characters like chandler bing and dr cox (both deeply sarcastic) created for the uk audience?

steff13 · 25/11/2018 07:26

I doubt it, why would they be?

StoneofDestiny · 25/11/2018 07:43

Also, use of the word 'cunt'. When Americans use it, it sounds really awful and crude, when we use it, it sounds natural and normal

I disagree. Only place I've seen that word used is on mumsnet. Never heard it anywhere else (except by a bloke in a street brawl who ended up with missing teeth)

StoneofDestiny · 25/11/2018 07:51

I think some of the 'stereotypical' types of Americans described here are more likely to be rural Americans, small town, mid west or southern states. I certainly recognise the church going type of religious Old Testament fundamentalist, pro gun America first and sod the rest mentality.
Never found that in San Francisco or New York.
As for 'social class' in UK - Americans just base their rankings on cash. (And weirdly fawn over the royal family far more than the average Brit).

Greenteandchives · 25/11/2018 07:52

Tipping. Americans are obsessed with giving everyone money for any service they receive, e.g buy a drink in a bar and tip the server. I think this is because there is no minimum wage. It makes them very popular with wait staff v Brits and Aussies when on holiday.

potentiallypainful · 25/11/2018 07:58

Self deprecation, Brits are great at it the US folk don't get it on the whole IMO.

claraschu · 25/11/2018 07:58

Minesril ...or your American in Florence could have been making fun of himself, and trying to be accommodating to the restaurant.

The American interviewing you...was obviously asking what you studied at University. Did you just insist that in the UK people don't have a "major" or did you tell him what you studied, and explain that courses here tend to be focused on one or two subjects?

As an American living in the UK, I am often surprised at the misconceptions people have about the US University system, and even more surprised when people don't believe what I tell them about studying in the US.

I guess every country sees its own way of doing things as "normal": the British think children need to wear weirdly gendered uniforms in order to learn; the Dutch have Zwarte Piet; the Germans reprimand strangers for walking across a street when no cars are anywhere in sight.

I have always found the US, with no national curriculum, no school uniform, a nation of immigrants from wildly different cultures, to be relatively accepting of differences, interested in cultural variations, open minded about people's ways of talking, dressing, eating.

The horrible, evil administration we currently have, the growing inequality, the frequent reports of racism and intolerance, the unimaginable denial of science, truth, and logic, have shaken me and my whole network of American friends to the core. This is not the country I know.

It is a little upsetting, though not at all surprising, to read that most British people see Americans as loud, rude, simplistic, brash, etc. Some of the comments are bizarre though- Americans obsessed with poo and unable to wear tights in sub-zero temperatures?

RedDwarves · 25/11/2018 08:08

Just a thought - were characters like chandler bing and dr cox (both deeply sarcastic) created for the uk audience?

Yes, because only the poms get sarcasm.

LongWalkShortPlank · 25/11/2018 08:11

I'm English and my boyfriend is American. He is more easy going, believes he will work hard and get what he wants and there isn't much that phases him whereas I'm a bit more, well realistic I suppose. He would also go to the doctor for everything, the flu, a stomach virus, whereas over here we kinda know not to do that? Idk, it could just be him lol.

Mynydd · 25/11/2018 08:12

If you read through a few random aibu threads you might come away thinking bits are:
Petty
Anxious
Class obsessed
Passive aggressive
Not good at navigating social encounters
Insecure in their social standing
If you spend some time in a town with lots of hen do happening you'd think Brits are loud, screechy, unconcerned about maintaining any public decorum, drunks, happy to waste public resources etc etc...

I've lived in the UK for 13 years (American). Trust me, it ain't all politeness, understated self deprecating humour and polite queuing Grin

RedDwarves · 25/11/2018 08:13

It is a little upsetting, though not at all surprising, to read that most British people see Americans as loud, rude, simplistic, brash, etc. Some of the comments are bizarre though- Americans obsessed with poo and unable to wear tights in sub-zero temperatures?

It doesn't surprise me at all. If a thread was posted on Australians vs Brits, New Zealanders vs Brits, Canadians vs Brits etc. you would still see many a Brit talking complete rubbish about people from those countries. The British, for centuries, viewed themselves as superior to other countries, and unfortunately some people still have that sense of "us vs them" embedded deeply within.

forsucksfake · 25/11/2018 08:25

I am regularly mistaken for an American and when in London, I have had some people be extremely rude to me based on expectations of how Americans (and therefore, in their minds, how I) behave. It is really hurtful. I do not even bother to try to defend myself by correcting them about my origins because I find that kind of prejudice ridiculous. Give people a chance to prove themselves worthy of your contempt, at least. Smile

WhatdoImean · 25/11/2018 08:35

Some personal observations. There is a smug superiority to us Brits, in many ways looking down, culturally on Americans. I do a lot of work State-side and UK, so get to see the best (and sometimes worst) or cultures.

Some of the elements I have noticed:-

  1. Brits - we tend to look back, rather than forwards
  2. Americans tend to feel they have to wear their hearts on their sleeves... For a culture that is meant to be so "confident", the need to be visibly patriotic, visibly religious and with a frequent "Can't be any good - was not invented here" mentality speaks to me of cultural insecurity. Likewise, the degree of fear of different cultures (this is NOT restricted to the US to be fair - in some areas of the UK the same) - pick a bogey-man (Islam at the moment - used to be Black people, or the Irish) and run with it...
  3. The US (at least in the heartlands, away from the coast) is a very insular society. Many people only know what they see on their news shows (within the Heartlands, a LOT of places use Fox News as their only source of news). As a result, when I try to explain how the NHS works, all I get is "Yeah yeah - socialised medicine" and "Yeah - we pay for your defence, so you can afford all that stuff" and finally "Wow - what about those no-go Sharia areas, yeah? And a whole city, like no go zone?" (Birmingham supposedly)
  4. US is often a consumer lead society, weirdly to me (as a Brit) even in the health area. People screaming "Don't call an ambulance" after a crash because they don't want to be bankrupt by medical bills? Very odd
  5. From what I have seen in the US, while there is no "class" as such, they kind of have a Victorian attitude to the poor - i.e. you must have done something to deserve it. You have failed in some way, you are at fault, and thus do not deserve much help - possibly some pity, probably some scorn. As a result, there is much "worship" (see the prosperity gospel for more information) of money and rich people as a class
  6. Brits tend to be smug superioritists - where we cannot compete economically, we choose to believe ourselves superior culturally, and poke fun at their relative lack of history and weird cultural norms (guns, violence on screen, all good - but the world will fall in if anyone see a nipple).
  7. Guns.... and politics... This one is just... I can't really under.. OK - baffling to me. People get killed in the UK in a school massacre - the majority of people demand guns be band (and to a large extent, they are). In the US? Just another Tuesday - and "We need MORE guns!! In schools!!!" I really REALLY do NOT get that part of American culture
  8. Race and Racism - the degree of self-segregation in the US also baffles me. I work with people of pretty much most races, religions etc and socialise with the same. In the US, from what I have seen (and I accept this is anecdote, not data), cross racial socialisation seems to be very rare. Black people ("African American") socialise within their own group, as do white people, etc. The really weird thing for me, though, is as mentioned the self-segregation - African Americans (at least the couple I know) EXPECT this to be normal...

All in all - I love being in the US to visit, but culturally, I find it too different to be anywhere I would choose to live.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 25/11/2018 08:39

I think the biggest difference socially is we are obsessed and our divisions are very much about class and America is it is race/your ethnicity

Not that it’s doesn’t cross over in both countries

I tend to find Americans far more forthright and socially confident and very straightforward in their approach which is refreshing at times, we tend to not go straight to the point and I think its hard for non brits or people who haven’t spent much time in the UK to often understand the point we are trying to make. And trying to decipher class is mind boggling

I don’t think we tend to take ourselves so seriously or rather we certainly don’t want to come across that way

I often go to the US and have spent a lot of time there (west coast) Brits are easy to spot even those that have lived there for years as I know Australians who can point out other Australians out its the little nuances of your culture that are picked up on

Hisaishi · 25/11/2018 08:39

stone you've obviously never been to Scotland.

Or in any pub in the UK.

Hisaishi · 25/11/2018 08:41

The problems with these threads is people always get well pissy and scrutinous and 'not all yanks' etc.

It's just general observations, no one is saying 'all americans are loud bastards and all brits sit around drinking tea with their pinky in the air'.

They're saying 'the average American is somewhat louder than the average Brit'.

Zappity · 25/11/2018 08:44

I hate these fucking threads. Would we do a black vs white stereotypes thread? Mumsnet will take any chance however thinly veiled to take a pop at Americans.

If you think about how America was formed - fast and by very different waves of immigrants it makes sense to be "loud". Mumbling, not enunciating and using sarcasm wasn't going to cut it across such vastly different groups that needed to assimilate.

Geographically it's huge. Huge in a way most Brits don't seem to grasp. The PP who said really it's a bunch of different countries is right. Massachusetts filed as its own country in the PISA tests whereas Missouri comes out below most developing nations.

anneofavonlee · 25/11/2018 08:47

People here are saying 'we' meaning Brits but MN seems to be a nationality and culture of its own. So many things I have read here that apparently are normal/typical I have never encountered in RL. I have lived in various parts of the UK and Ireland and often one region to the next can because different. America is huge and from my father extensive research watching Rikki Lake and Mondeo Williams as a teen it is the same thing. I would expect/anticipate someone from Appalachian mountains to have different experiences from someone in upstate NYC and thereby different mannerisms.

sonlypuppyfat · 25/11/2018 08:48

I've a friend who live in Texas , it takes 24 hours to drive across it. The place is vast

MKUltrachic · 25/11/2018 08:49

"Americans by and large love god. We by and large love alcohol." lol so true :)

Hisaishi · 25/11/2018 08:50

zappity I mean, I'm married to someone of a different race to me and yeah, on fb groups and forums for women in multicultural/Asian-white marriages, there are millions of threads about how we're different.

Yeah people are loud for a reason. And? Does that mean it can't be mentioned? Besides which, the UK has a ton of different cultures as well but half the time, Americans don't even know we're made of different countries, let alone that London and Manchester have totally different outlooks/accents/lifestyles.

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