To stop gifting friends children

[isthatalright]

My DC are getting older now and costing a lot more and I have around 10/12 children of friends who we all buy for and I want to stop. My kids don't need anything more than what we get them. They get lots of family too.

Just not sure how to word it to everyone but it's honestly harder and harder to buy for kids. For instance sent my best friend 5 different ideas for her son who's into Lego and each time I've had a response that he doesn't like that range or he's got that one. FFS they are getting more thought than my kids!!

It’s not a great time to do it, just before Christmas. If you can stomach it, I’d suck up Christmas and then afterwards message everyone saying you want a gift amnesty for 2019 onwards.

Do a secret santa and buy less

Suggest a secret santa as its so near Christmas ??

YANBU. I don't buy any of my friends kids and didnt reciprocate when people did. It gets ridiculously out of hand otherwise

Small gift of a album and a selection pack. Can get albums in the pound shop/ or between £3-5 :) that's all I'm doing now for all kids I buy for but my nephew.

Never bought for friends children. Just buy small thing to open this xmas and say last year this year. Chocolate goes down well. Yanbu

Like PP I'd suggest secret santa if you all know each other. If you're not known to each other I'd just let them know that you're trying to cut down on the expense of christmas so will just be doing small, token gifts. If it were me I'd just be relieved. I mainly hate the waste of spending £15-20 on stuff the person doesn't need and might not even end up liking.

Isn't that against the law? And to whom are you giving them? 🙂

Suggest Secret Santa

It's plenty of notice in my opinion. Just send a group WhatsApp saying

Hi guys, I'm sorry but I've decided to cut back this year so won't be getting your kids presents. Obviously you can all continue with the tradition!

What about suggesting you all go to the pantomime it similar together instead?

Just say it. They prob be relieved. When me & my 3 close friends all pregnant on our second we agreed to stop. Thank goodness! Now we just buy small token gifts (a book/pj's or something) for our 8 niece n nephews. That's enough!

As my nieces and nephews grew older it was down to me to suggest that we possibly stop buying presents at Christmas. The presents we were buying (as they got older) were mostly gift vouchers, so we were essentially giving each others dc a gift to then get the same gift back.

It’s taken pressure of us all tbh and financially I’m better off. Everyone agreed it made sense to stop but it took me to start the ball rolling.

I think it’s possibly too late for this year now but you can maybe broach the subject in the NY and suggest that you just buy eachother lovely cards.

Send them the Martin Lewis gift amnesty video and say isn't this a good idea and you're only buying for immediate family from now on.

Honestly, just bite the bullet and tell your friends you are scaling things back this Christmas and only doing token presents - e.g. a chocolate Santa.

I have one close friend who I see regularly. She has one son who's younger than my DC. I give her son an inexpensive birthday gift, usually a couple of nice books. To date, I've been to his birthday parties as they've been adulty tea and cake affairs, so I give him the gift on his birthday. My friend doesn't see my DC on their birthdays or buy them birthday gifts. She sees them infrequently as they're older (and she and I didn't know each other when my DC were little) but she will bring them sweets or buy an ice cream or cake for them if we go out together so I feel both of us are comfortable with this arrangement. No Christmas gifts.

I don't buy birthday or Christmas gifts for my other friends' kids nor vice versa. I live abroad and have one close friend back home whose young daughter I will buy a small gift like a book or toy when I make my annual visit. Other friends back home are seen less than once a year so I just take their kids sweets if I am going to see them.

Just rip the bandage off and say you are stopping. They will be relieved. They just won’t want to be the ones to suggest it. I’m with ML.
I’d happily stop gifts altogether

Agree with the others, if you all know each other than a secret Santa. If you don't know each other, then perhaps suggest stopping altogether. The example you gave sums it up - five suggestions and the child has all of them. I imagine, the others will feel a sense of relief.

I sent a message round a few years ago to friends saying i can't fit presents for friends' kids in the budget and don't expect to receive any for my kid - everyone was relieved. Close friends' kids get birthday presents but at Christmas they really don't need extra stuff and it's a big chunk of my budget even if I got £1 things! Especially now my DS wants to get presents for his best friend's too! Since there are loads of them...

We just have a get together in a soft play area and buy our own kids dinner and entry in place of buying Christmas gifts.

I agree people might well be relieved if you say you're stopping, it's unlikely you're the only one who's finding it all a bit of a faff. It's one of those things that probably seemed like a good idea when it started and there were only a few toys to buy for but the years go by and suddenly it's a lot of money, time and effort.

I only buy for the child of one friend, never got into it with others thankfully.

Are you all in the same friendship group? Do you all buy each other's?

If so, there's 7 of us in a group, by next year there'll be 6 children. We've decided to put £5 in per child, each child gets a group present worth £30.

YANBU.

Unless you're American and even then it's a close call YABU to call it "gifting", though

I totally agree with you and we've stopped with friends but I think it's too late to raise it for this year. Next year secret santa or just no gifts.

We stopped when we were all putting £10 in cards for each other's kids seemed totally pointless.

I had a friend decide to stop buy Xmas gifts. I remember thinking typical brought for your kids for years the second I have a child you want to stop! I definatly appreciate it a few years and children later though!