My first post on here but would appreciate it if everyone who reads this could be brutally honest! I've been mates with said friend since my early twenties and we bonded when a mutual friend arranged a day out. When I first met her she was engaged but having relationship problems and as we became closer she grew to rely on me quite heavily to sound off her man woes, something I didn't mind at all. She had an extremely fun side, a great sense of humour and was generous, caring and supportive whenever I needed her.
I did, however, realise early on that she was quite a self-destructive person with regards to her finances, her health and her relationships but she's had a difficult childhood and I understood it stemmed from that. I tried to be there for her as much as possible, trying to get her to look after her health, lending her money to help her with her debts and supporting her when, first her engagement, and then other subsequent relationships broke down.
Fast forward a decade and a half since we first met and, together with the friend who introduced us, we're all married with kids. We all keep in touch, try to meet every couple of months and have kids of a similar age so try to do days out with them too. After several toxic relationships, following the break-off of her engagement, she ended up marrying someone with whom she had a whirlwind romance and he's been a totally sh** husband to her. She's had opportunities to leave but won't and there have been times when he has left her and she always pleads with him to return. For the first few years of their marriage I was there for her as much as possible but when my advice to get help/counselling repeatedly fell on deaf ears I took a step back.
I felt the need to post this because we spent the day together today and as usual all she spoke about was her marital problems, what a bad husband/father he is but how she's giving him one "last" chance to change and then that's it. She spoke about her health problems because she won't control her consumption of fizzy drinks and her financial problems, the cause of which has always been her spending out of her means. I listened as I always do but it dawned on me today that I am growing sick of having different versions of the same conversations fifteen years after I met her, especially when she does nothing to correct the situations.
She dominates the conversation with her own issues and I've begun to notice that she never takes an interest in what is happening in my life, even if I mention something, she somehow relates it back to her life and before I know it she's off again talking about herself.
In the early days of our friendship I feel like we had more in common but now, increasingly, I just feel like she's stuck in her twenties with how she eats, behaves, spends etc and I struggle to relate to her.
Am I being unreasonable to feel this way? Should I be more sympathetic or are my feelings justified?