My social phobia got me again!

[Pinkkittens292]

This isn't really an AIBU. More a "how bloody stupid I am"!!!.
As title says I suffer from severe anxiety/ social phonia and really struggle with things like busy shops and public transport.
Today I braved both with my children and stepped "beyond my comfort zone".
I did really well and I'm sort of proud of myself apart from one small thing that set me back!

Family ticket was £15. I gave the driver a £20 note.
He gave me the ticket and said "Sorry I have no fivers so can't give you change yet. Ask me when you get off".
OK that should be easy enough (I know it should be) but in my stupid head I was rehearsing how I was going to pluck up the courage to ask for my change. What if he'd forgotten during the course of the journey and thought I was pulling a fast one?
When it came to getting off I thought, OK, just say "Do you have the change you owe me please?"......then when it came to it I bottled it and just got off the bus. He'd clearly forgotten and said nothing.

OK. It's only a fiver. That's not the issue.
It's the fact I am so frustrated with myself that I couldn't open my mouth!!!!

Honestly - don't beat yourself up about it. The bigger picture is you coped out of your comfort zone and got out with the kids. Five pounds is neither here nor there in the big scheme of things and it really doesn't matter.

If I was having a bad day with anxiety I wouldn't have asked either.

Swings and roundabouts - one day you might get a free ride

Anxiety is a bitch.

I have done this before. Don't beat yourself up about it. I am socially awkward and have anxiety.
If it helps I had to face mine head on today. My DD had been invited to a birthday party, it was in a town near us I don't like to drive in (I try to avoid if possible, going mules out of my way) and I always struggle in situations like this anyway, as they are from her school that she only started in September, so don't really know anyone, whilst we were there she was so worried about missing out on playing that when she needed a wee she held it just that bit too long and we didn't make it to the toilet in time ( I have talked to her about this before) she admitted it was because she didn't want to stop playing and miss out. Now other times this has happened I have just changed her and let her get on without making a fuss, I have tried changing her and talking to her and I have tried changing her and telling her off, none of these have worked, so I decided that as seen as it was because she didn't want to stop playing the best course was to take her home, so that we learns if she stops playing for 2 minutes to go toilet she can play again, if she doesn't she misses out completely, everyone kept offering me other ideas and I could feel myself starting to panic, so I calmly said no it's fine we are going.
I started second guessing myself in the car and nearly got in the wrong lane, this stupidly led me to have a panic attack whilst driving. I am now panicking that all the other mothers that were there are going to judge me and think I am a terrible mother and this is going to knock my confidence when it comes to driving in that town.