To not want my son to spend all his money on computer game addons?

[Allthatglittersisgold]

My 12 year old is constantly asking me to trade in his pocket money / saved up money for things in his xbox games. New skins, maps, dance moves, clothes for characters.... all that rubbish. Its his money but I still just think its such a waste and I'm reluctant to let him do it. We've let him a few times when its been a special occasion or a really good offer on but he is asking weekly now. We just had a big argument to the point that I took the machine out his room for the night. He says all his friends are always allowed to buy stuff.

AIBU to not let him spend his pocket money as he pleases? I know its his momey but it comes out my wages, I would rather give him none that see it all go into an xbox game. I was hoping he would spend it on days out with his friends or real life things he wants to buy.

We decided to allow our 14 year old a certain amount to spent per 6 months. We documented it - so when he complained we could show him what he agreed to. I hate that games like Fortnite are ‘free’ but then there is the peer pressure to spend a lot extra on add ons. There will always be friend who spent more etc. I would prefer he didn’t waste his money but at the same time it’s important to them.

My 11 y/o is the same and it is a complete pita! He gets pocket money from us and pil is the deal is he can spend £10 per month of stupid vbucks or whatever else it is this month and that is it. He still tantrums like a 2 year old later in the month but is then reminded he spent his money on the first day, so tough.
It is a compromise but does prevent most of The whinging about it.

So, it's NOT his money. It's yours. So I'd be stopping it right now until you see improved behaviour.

He says all his friends are always allowed to buy stuff

Of course they are [eye-roll] oldest excuse in the book and i'll bet very few, if any of his friends are allowed to buy stuff on a regular / weekly basis.

Does he do any chores or jobs to earn the pocket money?

It’s his pocket money - you can’t decide how he spends it. If you’re that bothered, give him less pocket money and put a couple of pounds a week in a savings account instead.

He does help out a bit with chores when we need him to but he doesn't have any set chores of his own.

I think at 12 he's definitely old enough to be earning the money by doing chores, helping out with dinner and around the house. Perhaps if he realizes how long it takes to earn the money, he will be more careful with how he spends it.

How much does he get at the minute?

The thing is I'm not too worried about him saving. We have a seperate account for that already. I just wish he'd spend it on something real.

why do you give him pocket money then? When I was young we spent it all on sweets. The whole point is to let him spend it on treats for himself. If you dont like that then dont give him money.

I spend a small amount of real money on online games, I feel like it’s something I get enjoyment from, it’s not really different from buying a magazine or something.

I would agree a proportion of his money that he can spend on games, and stick to it. It’s not really any different from buying plastic tat when we were kids. Although the tat is real, it’s usually just as much a temporary enjoyment before kids get bored and move on.

The thing is I'm not too worried about him saving. We have a seperate account for that already. I just wish he'd spend it on something real.

Why? It’s his money.

You cannot dictate how he soends his pocket money assuming its not illegal. You can refuse to pay for cinema trips and so on if he has spent his money on other things. And you cant decide to give him less money so you can save for him. He could earn more by doing chores though.

I think it depends how much you give him.

If it is £2 / week that otherwise he would blow on sweets and crisps, then let him spend it.

If it is £20 / week originally aimed at going out and about, swimming, cinema etc now he is at secondary, then don't.

Its about £10 a week. Thats fine if the general consensus is IABU then I'll consider letting him put some on his xbox. I never got any pocket money growing up, my parents would just give me money if I needed it for going out. Thanks for all responses :)

Why is it a “waste” though? He’s spending his money on things that give him pleasure. My dc spend money on similar things and they get far more enjoyment from it than buying sweets or plastic tat. I think you should lighten up. He’ll soon learn he can only spend it once and if he wants money for other stuff he’ll have to save a bit.

£10 a week, if it were me I would say he has a limit of £20 a month to spend on his in game purchases. I would also be giving him some regular jobs around the house to earn his pocket money.

If it’s his money and he’s not buying anything dangerous let him crack on. He can make the assessment whether n amount of money is worth a virtual item or not. You could argue the same about mp3s or digital film downloads, that it’s a waste as you get no physical item. And most people think that’s fine.

You’re teaching him to manage his own money and that includes making decisions on how to spend it. I remember aged about 12 begging my mum to let me swap my pocket money for using the equivalent amount on her card to pay for some furniture downloads for the sims 1! She agreed and I downloaded it and got well worth the amount it cost in enjoyment from using those items in my sims homes lol.

I think if you you want to put a rule in place that he has to save a certain amount of pocket money then fine, but I think he should be able to spend his 'spending money' on whatever he likes. Just because you think a day out with friends or real life things would be better, doesn't mean he will think the same. My son spends loads on in game purchases, I used to think he wasn't really getting anything for his money, but I now realise that when you love gaming, it's worth so much. I am nearly 40 and didn't grow up with this stuff, so I found it difficult to get my head around but now I just think it's his choice.

The thing is, most people who have hobbies will spend as much of their disposable income on it. His joy level is the exact same as someone who buys a magazine every week or a new thing to add to a collection.

My husband is in to table-top wargames so likes to buy armies of figures and vehicles. I managed to change his point of view that when he says computer game add one are 'a waste of money's, that's exactly how I see the figures he buys and no doubt the way he sees the latest beauty must haves I buy! Everything is a 'waste of money's if it's not an essential or improves your day to day life really.

What would you rather him but?

How about a 50% rule?

So many typos now I have read that back, sorry!

Mine have pocket money and they can spend on what they like. It's meant to be fun money, theirs to make choices with not for me to dictate what it can be spent on.

Adults waste money all the time, why shouldn't children?

Interesting to read this as having the same argument with DS at the moment. I don't agree with wasting money on in game purchases, but I guess it is his money and it will bring him pleasure.

It depends - are they buying specific items or is it loot boxes (basically gambling for kids)? Mine buy the former and while I'm generally scathing of it, it's their money to spend. The latter are banned and if I found them buying loot boxes I would block that specific game so they couldn't play it.