Why do I do/say these things?

[aibutohavethisusername]

Posting here for traffic. Was chatting to my partner over lunch and he mentioned someone at my work yesterday.
For some reason I stupidly said ‘yeah, he’s hot’ or something along those lines. Hating myself right now.
I adore my partner so much, been together 3 years. I am such an idiot.

What did your partner day?

*say

It's okay to think other people are attractive whilst you're in a relationship, it's natural, me and my partner absolutely adore each other but we know that obviously other people are attractive too us, we joke about it, don't beat yourself up xx

Honestly, it's sort of refreshing. DH tends towards saying the obvious but clearly not asking on it. Mentionitis is much worse. When you bloody know they think someone is hot but they pretend they're not.

What did your partner say?

I tend to say things like that and add, "good job you're way hotter".

He isn’t happy and has barely spoken to me since. He did say it will take him time to get back to where we were. Which is a huge worry for me.

Oh for god's sake. What's he talking about? "Take some time to get back to where we were"???

He sounds like a delicate wee flower. Donyou find yourself walking on eggshells in other situations with him?

I stupidly said ‘yeah, he’s hot’ or something along those lines

What did you actually say though?

The 'something along those lines' might make all the difference here.

Sounds odd that he's taken it so much to heart. Unless you've a history of cheating on him? Or you phrased it as "he's so much hotter than you / I wish you were that hot", which would be unacceptable. If it was just a throwaway comment on appearance then it's not that bad.

Can you ask him to assign your punishment? Maybe you could put on a nice nurse's uniform he picks out for you & await an appropriate level of 'spanking'.

That's interesting. He brought him up... Is the man objectively attractive? I know that 's a stupid question but if he is, I'm curious that your partner brought him up and then is sulking because you stated an obvious fact.

I mean, there's a stunning woman at my work. I showed DH pictures of my team and said, "yeah, you can say what you're thinking" because it's obvious.

But he brought this bloke up. Seems like he wanted to test your reaction.

Is your DP particularly insecure?

About his looks/his weight/anything else?

Worra I said ‘yeah he’s hot’ or ‘yeah he’s lush’. One of those two words.

Tell him to get a grip. His reaction says way more about him than anything you've said. That level of petulance will grow very tiring.

Blimey. I've said things like that to my DP - that someone is attractive and he doesn't think anything of it. just laughs. He's a grown up not a petulant manchild and he is secure in himself and in my love for him.

Seriously, you've done nothing wrong (apart form your choice of partner maybe).

Bloody hell, I've told my DP that I think our personal trainer is fit and he didn't bat an eye lid and agreed with me 😂