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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have a bottle of wine?

34 replies

purple8pig · 24/11/2018 18:32

OK so having read a few posts in the last couple of days regarding drinking habits, I'm wondering if I am indeed being unreasonable.
I have 4 children (youngest is 4 and oldest is 12) and DH works till 11pm. As you can imagine the teatime/bedtime few hours is rather stressful and usually involves lots of arguing from the kids. I often would love a drink but usually don't. Maybe once a week I will get a bottle of wine. I have a glass with dinner (around 5pm) and a glass while I'm cleaning up/ getting kids sorted for bed. (not if I'm bathing the little ones though).

 They see me have the glass with dinner, and I'm sure there are some effects after majority of a bottle of wine, however I'm still perfectly responsible and can type / send , messages (I've had almost a bottle now for example) I just feel sometimes after a stressful week it is nice to not feel so bogged down with the evening routine.

I don't have a drink if we will be doing homework or school reading. There of course is the chance of an emergency occurring so I obviously wouldn't be able to drive them, but I do feel id be able to respond to an emergency situation and I would always be able to get either family or a taxi here within 10 minutes.

 Is this a problematic drinking situation? from what I've read its highly irresponsible to drink before kids go to bed and also to have a full bottle whilst alone with them. maybe other coping mechanisms would be better.

I'm well prepared to be told I'm BU (but would like to think I'm not so I can continue my weekly bottle of wine haha)

Also I never go out or have more than a bottle of wine so although I'm sure they're aware I'm a bit more 'fun' than usual they've never seen me drunk.

OP posts:

Original poster

purple8pig · 24/11/2018 20:16

He works till that time each day he works, which it's 4 or 5 days a week. Occasionally he's home, but more often than not yes, I'm on my own (children not included lol)

I'm going to stop I think. I so look forward to it and it almost takes the stress from the evening so when I know I'll be having a bottle, I look forward to the evening rather than dread the nightly slog, so yes, I think I need to find better ways of dealing with things x

OP posts:

Quartz2208 · 24/11/2018 20:19

where is he when he isnt working you cant really be doing this every night on your own 7 days a week

You are drinking because you are stressed out that is the bit you need to deal with not the drinking

Original poster

purple8pig · 24/11/2018 20:23

No sorry if I wasn't clear! I'm not drinking every night! Usually only once a week. But the whole bottle in that one evening.
If he's not working he's at home and occasionally I'll have my weekly bottle on one of those days, but more often than not it's when he's working.

OP posts:

Butterymuffin · 24/11/2018 20:37

You are drinking because you are stressed out that is the bit you need to deal with not the drinking

Agree with this. It sounds like it's from all the time on your own with 4 kids, that's why I asked about the solo drinking.

smallchanceofrain · 24/11/2018 20:37

I was going to suggest you cut down a bit OP but then realised I'd read your post wrong - I thought you were having a bottle a night!
I have one bottle a week. Usually spread over a couple of nights. For many years I was a single mum, so waiting until my partner got home before I opened a bottle was never an option. Luckily DS1 survived my occasionally slightly tipsy parenting. I'd suggest that not having the whole bottle in one go would be healthier for you.

southnownorth · 24/11/2018 20:41

Have one sip a day then you can make it last for months.

But make sure you are not on your own while you do it.

Actually I have changed my mind, best not to drink at all in case there is an emergency.

RangeRider · 24/11/2018 20:44

But then there are plenty of evenings id love to have a drink
Why a drink? I get that life is stressful etc. but having to rely on alcohol isn't a good thing. Better to find either ways of reducing the stress or ways to cope better. Alcohol doesn't really do either of those.

Original poster

purple8pig · 24/11/2018 20:58

Yeah that's what I'm realising. I'm going to not have any for a while and try to use other ways of dealing with stress, then when I do have some I can just have it because I fancy some or want to unwind rather than feeling the need to have some x

OP posts:

bobstersmum · 24/11/2018 21:05

I think two glasses is enough. We used to drink a lot before we had the kids and a bottle would have me quite drunk. I remember my dad drinking in the evening and he made me feel uneasy as I watched him sink into a vague stupor, usually thinking he was having a good conversation with us but actually talking drivel. However everyone is different, if you feel you definitely aren't drunk after a bottle then that's your choice. It's hard being a mum I know!

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