Is there a good way to ditch a friend?

[5fivestar]

We don’t have a laugh, we have nothing in common she phones most days for amp an about her life. I’ve been guilty of doing the same in previous years, but whilst I’ve sorted my stuff out and moved forward she’s dig herself deeper and it’s depressing. I’ve gone non contact previously because I thought I was coming between her and her husband and wanted to step back to see if they could resolve things. They haven’t. It’s worse than ever and now she lives closer too.
I just wanna block her but I’m not a bitch. Is there any nice way to do this ?

I've just had to recently do this. It was really hard but I needed to as I realised I felt so upset and negative after any form of contact.
In the end I sent a calm txt explaining we didn't have much in common anymore.
I wished her good luck and happiness.
I didn't get a nice txt back but I felt a huge sense of relief.

I brought a 40 year friendship to end. I realised for a while we had nothing in common in the present and reminiscing about the past can only be done so many times. I maintained the friendship until she behaved really badly towards other mutual friends repeatedly and took that opportunity to cut her loose.

I’m just ignoring every other phone call and hoping for the best at the moment 🤦‍♀️ I’m such a wimp

Ease it off gently by answering fewer calls & when you do answer stress how busy you are. I don't see the point in directly hurting someone by telling them. I'd rather (be a wimp) and let the friendship slide. Then they can blame it on people drifting apart & being busy rather than beating themselves up.

How would YOU like a friend to end your relationship?

Personally I think just be honest - tell her what you've said here. Wish her well, but goodbye.

There’s no good way. But you can avoid being shitty.

Don’t ghost. Say something tactful.

If you want to, and only if you want to, leave the door open for the future if she gets her shit together.

Tell her you’ll ring mid week as you’re bit busy. When she rings don’t answer and text back and say can’t chat today but will ring midweek. And repeat so you’ve lowered your contact to once a week

That’s just a recipe for grinding someone’s self esteem away to nothing Labaradoodle.

Seriously OP, don’t do that.

She’s never had her shit together in the 10 years I’ve known her and I honestly feel I’ve done all I can. She had other friends she’s in a better position than me in that sense, but I can’t be involved any more I’m just bloody sick of it.

Anyway, won’t ghost but I will retreat

Ah, the milk of human kindness flows freely.

I did an "honest" break up, as i felt guilty reading all the mumsnet posts on similar subject.

Sent a naice text saying i was going through some stuff (which she knew about) and wouldnt be in touch as much.

Didnt hear a thing from her again, which was a bit brutal but better than i hoped for!

Can you say you’re having a tough time and need some time to yourself?

I wouldn’t ghost either. I had that done to meand still don’t know why it happened.
It really depends on how long and deep the friendship is. I’ve had casual or circumstancial friendships ie, from work or schoolmums which have drifted on both parts. However, if I wanted to end something with a long-standing good friend I think I would have to arrange to meet and have to talk it out - would be mega-awkward but at least no-one is left hanging.
The cowards way out is to ease off the contact.

I’ve been trying to ditch her for 5 out of 10 years. Subtle isn’t working here

As pp suggested, tell her you're going through a hard time yourself. There's nothing like someone's own crisis to get rid of a taker.

I reckon you are right on the money Blanche.