Aibu- to be annoyed with imidiaye family member posting on facebook

[HANGRYRABBITT]

Sorry for the long post

Day ds was born we asked for no photos on social media untill we were ready.

Dp has posted a few to keep friends and family informed of ds groth and progress
I posted a couple but then deleted them as I thought I can't expect others to follow my wishes if in going against what I asked

Now with that said EVERY picture and video I have sent my dm she has sent them via msg to people including my dp (he works all week so I send him any pics I have taken and I send family pics and videos) put straight onto fb and insta even though repeatedly I have said that I don't want ds to be plaster all over the Internet, she Is the only person to do this every other member of our family on both sides have respected our wishes and enjoy the pictures ml prints them off and has made a photo album for him ( yes she shows people and I'm aware it is kind of the same thing but I dint ask not to show photos I asked not to post on social media)

Dp has stopped posting pictures since he has seen them I have deleted my social media accounts thinking what I don't see can't annoy me but it does

I love that she is proud and she loves ds more than anything and I don't want her to feel like I'm keeping him from her but I'm getting to the point where I don't want to send her pictures anymore I just want her to be able to enjoy her grandson and the time she shares with him without having to post every moment of it

Aibu to feel like this

"most people seeing her facebook posts probably don't give a s* . The vast majority of people don't care about other peoples kids"

Outside of MN they do. This is especially true once you all become Grandparents.

I don't know anyone in RL who feels the way posters on here say.

OP explain your reasons to her and ask her to respect your wishes or there won't be any photos passed on.

Are you also going to block pictures from any groups/Nursery/School. They are all online these days, if not, it's a bit unfair.

Time for the "three do's"

"Do you love your grandson?"
"Do you want a relationship with him?"
"Do as you're told"

I wouldn't be bothered by the odd one, but if it's every photo it would annoy me.

DM annoyed me when I sent her a few pictures where DD was in the bath and some where the house looked an absolute mess. I asked her not to show them to people. A few weeks later she said 'oh I know you asked me not to show that but I showed x, y and z and ...' so I told her I wouldn't send ones like that again and haven't.

MIL annoyed DP (he's very private, doesn't put photos of DD on social media) as he asked her not to send photos to people and it turned out that every photo he sent her of DD she sent to all her siblings who haven't even met DD as DP has little to do with them. He found out as of his cousins mentioned that his mom had loads of photos of DD on her phone. He had a word with her and went a good few months where he sent her none, she's gotten better since (that we know of anyway).

If you don't want the pictures out there you need to have a serious conversation or don't send them.

Ignorant question: is messaging photos actually putting them on social media (like Facebook) or the equivalent of emailing them (so not social media / a permanent only new record)?

Honestly don't understand the need to over-share photos etc. I'd ask her to remove the ones she has posted or she won't be sent anymore/be allowed to take any more.

@Aridane

Equivalent of emailing them. Even if you have a WhatsApp group it can only be seen by those in the group unless they choose to share them further.

Social Media would be FB, Instagram or Twitter

I think you're being precious. Anyway, as someone else said, one baby looks pretty much the same as the next so unless you're someone super famous, you've got nothing to worry about. Line up a load of babies and I'm sure that only family could tell them apart. They're still slugs (my dad's term) at baby stage!

I asked my stepdad not to share photos of my dd on Facebook (he’d share my photos; he doesn’t know how to upload his own, thank goodness), as he has his profile fully open for all and sundry to see.
He ignored my wishes, so I ‘unfriended’ him. It may seem harsh, but I didn’t want anyone to be able to see photos of my children (though I only post them maybe a couple of times a year anyway)

Frankly I'm afraid it seems like paranoid nonsense to me.

To me putting a photo on FB is equivalent to plastering it on a noticeboard in the centre of the village/town/city. So as long as you are happy for anyone to see it, then that's fine. Doesn't matter how tight your privacy settings are there is always a way round it.

TracyBeakerSoYeah

I say this to my kids!
'Would you walk into a room full of people (assembly in kids case) and hold up a picture? DD looking cute!!'
And walk off?

No different to heading on stage and saying 'Checking in at X'

Everyone would laugh you off the stage.

I think those who post these pictures have no idea of the long term damage ...... how would you feel if your mum popped into work and plastered all you baby pictures over the corridors? You'd think she'd gone mad.

@MrsStrowman actually, I would monitor my child's social media usage very closely, not that it's an issue at this precise moment as she's far too young to have an account! And I do think it's potentially hazardous to arm randomers with information and photos about children- greentulip's response to you above shows that. But hey, you plaster your kids' photos all over the internet if you want to but don't feel entitled to judge those who don't want to as being hysterical.

how would you feel if your mum popped into work and plastered all you baby pictures over the corridors
Completely indifferent, do you realise how many times a day your image is captured on CCTV and stored? I genuinely don't care. My gran was going through some old family photos and slides at the weekend and put some baby pictures of me on Facebook, nothing happened.

What's funny is as soon as your DCs are old enough they'll plaster the internet with pictures you would never have posted of them and so will their friends.

If you don't like social media at all as per greentulips' post that's your call, but to say it's a risk or safety issue is nonsensical.

Just stop sharing, they don’t need to be shared. As much as you want to show off your wonderful new baby, if you don’t want it shared, then keep it special to you

Well, MrsStowman I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. Anyway, I'm off to bed. Goodnight.

Although I think it's a bit precious, it's still your wishes for your child so they should be respected... Whether people agree with them or not.

I'd stop sending pics if I were you and when asked I'd say why.

I would just stop sending her the photos and when she's asks why, explain that she posts them on social media which you have asked her not to do so and that she won't be receiving ant more from you until she respects your request. There's nothing precious about not wanting your children's photos online and it's disrespectful for someone to ignore that. We had this with SIL and BIL who used to post every photos of our as soon as the photo was taken. We had to call them everytime and tell them to take the photos off especially as my SIL had everything set to public! They don't do it anymore.

Completely indifferent, do you realise how many times a day your image is captured on CCTV and stored?

And who has access to those images? Vs. who has access to those on facebook?

What's funny is as soon as your DCs are old enough they'll plaster the internet with pictures you would never have posted of them and so will their friends.

At least then it's their choice. I wouldn't like it if someone was putting tons of pictures of me online without my knowledge/consent, so I'm not going to do the same to my kids!