To ask you to tell me it'll be ok.

[SayingMyThing]

Been a sahm for 16 years, not always through choice, but that's another story.
I start a part time job in Monday, only in a shop, albeit a very high high end one.
I had no idea how my confidence has plummeted, I am terrified that people won't like me, that I won't pick things up quickly enough.
I feel massively out of my comfort zone, I have barely eaten for 3 days and am so nervous i am nearly in tears
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

First day on the job is a really stressful life event. It’s normal to feel like you feel right now!

But you WILL actually be fine.

Tell me...what’s the worst that can happen? Be specific.

I went back to work after nine years as a SAHM. I was terrified for the first few weeks! It's normal to feel this way. That was four years ago and I love it now. Good luck OP.

Nothing's wrong with you.

You're a bit nervous about starting a new job. That is normal. Everyone is.

The barely eating is because your flight-or-flight response is kicking in and making you feel a little bit sick. Do try to force something down, because the less you eat the sicker you'll feel.

If you've been a sahm for 16 years you probably have some finely honed organisational skills and experience of managing others' feelings and expectations. You'll be grand in your job.

You're worried people won't like you - if you mean your colleagues, try to remember that for them is just another Monday and they are likely to be very busy this time of year! Don't take it personally if they don't seem to have much time for you right at the beginning.

Good luck :)

I just feel like I won't learn things quickly enough and I'll be standing around like a prat and people will think I 'm useless.
I''m hormonal too I'm sure that's not helping .

Everyone knows new starters take a little while to get settled in.

Smile, ask if you can help (other staff), take a little notebook to jot down notes for any complicated procedures.

Plan something nice for your next day off.

Firstly, congratulations on your job

Being a sahm has given you more skills and experience than you think, it's a very undervalued job. I think you will find you are actually a very different person with a lot more patience and understanding than before children, so important in a public facing job.

Personally, I also found that, unlike before children, the job had become a welcome break from home but not the centre of my life. Just my experience. I'm not very good at expressing myself online but I just wanted to say; it's perfectly understandable to be nervous but you will be fine. Please don't worry too much.

I just feel like I won't learn things quickly enough and I'll be standing around like a prat and people will think I 'm useless.

And?

Literally nobody is competent on their first day/week/month. You might be a slower learner than one person, but much quicker than another. They are EXPECTING you to need a lot of help.

Oh OP, this type of anxiety is tough but pretty common so don’t beat yourself up.

My mum always told me - just take one day at a time and do the best you can. At the end of the day; if you don’t like it leave!

I'm sure you'll get used to it! Don't be afraid to ask questions! Do you know someone super confident? Pretend to be them - fake it till you make it, they say!

Good luck! You can do this

Saying I've never been a SAHM, always worked and I've felt exactly that just changing jobs! Honestly it's perfectly normal to be nervous and anxious starting a new job, very few people mosey in genuinely full of confidence on day one (though some can fake it). It will be fine.

Paste on a smile, focus on what you're learning and if you're not sure or don't understand then ask. Speak confidently and act cool and collected (even though you're not feeling it). Basically do what most of us do and 'fake it til you make it' .

Thanks, you're all so kind I am actually crying now ffs.
I'm going for a shower and getting a grip of myself at the same time.
Ta people.

OP it'll be fine I promise.

I've just gone back to work after 4 years being a SAHM. Of course I was nervous but you just try your best and ask questions if you don't understand something. I'm really enjoying it now, and I never could've said that about work before kids.

And remember they chose you. They believe in you.

You'll do great!

I'm sure they'll prefer someone who is worrying about doing well, that someone who couldn't give a ....!

Don't be afraid to ask questions, the more you ask, the quicker you'll become comfortable with the role.

Maybe a couple of drops of rescue remedy from boots before you get there? Might be psychological but it's worked for me before

How was your first day, OP? I hope you exceeded your own expectations and are giving yourself a pat on the back!

Kind of you to remember, it was ok ish.
There wasn't really anyone senior in charge, so I was half shown things by someone very young who would rather have been chatting to her similarly aged colleagues. I am at least 20 years older than anyone and don't they let me know. I can't see how they can keep me on after Christmas, it doesn't really seem busy enough.
I'm really hoping the boss will be in over the next couple of weeks and there will be a mutual agreement that I finish at the end of Christmas.
I was like a spare part on my second day. Cleaned the toilets just for something to do and had a tearful minute in Sainsbury's toilets on my lunch break.

Aw, well if you don't want to be kept on, think of it as a stepping stone! Just to get you warmed up! It's really tricky when there isn't someone there who's willing to show you what to do, but you managed it! I'm sure it'll get better when it's busier at Christmas.

Just keep swimming!