To think dd might feel like I should have more photos of her?

[MissesBloom]

A few years back I had a mix up with my hard drive storage, and the long and short of it is, I accidentally formatted it and wiped EVERY video and photo off of my hard drive in an 18 month period.

I was heartbroken and felt sick. All my photos and videos of dd when she was born were on this hard drive and no, I stupidly didnt back them up anywhere else

I went back through everything I have on laptops and photos my parents had. There's tonnes of her older brother but about 3 pictures of her as a tiny baby. We did find some of her around 8 months old but not many. The majority start from about 20 months old.

I went back through Facebook and managed to get the one we took of her in hospital but its not great quality. Dh paid someone to try and extract the files from the formatted hard drive, but when I got it back from him it was still empty.

I decided the other day I wanted to do a xmas album for both kids which I'll update with a few pics and memories every year. I was going to start it from their first xmas. I sat and went through dds photos and have none of her 1st or 2nd xmas. I feel awful. I love looking back through old photos my parents took of us as kids.

I'm the only one who bothers taking pics in our house, DH cant stand it and he thinks its wasting time. Its always my responsibility to take them, print them and makes albums etc. Because dh wont take the pics I'm hardly ever in them. Because of this I feel like its entirely my fault shes got no photos to look back on. He doesnt care at all, and doesnt get why I'm so upset.

My question is what on earth I can do now to fix it? I've obviously got my photos and videos backed up to multiple places now, but the damage is already done. Should I try and fill dds xmas book with something else for the first few years?

I dont know if lm being over the top now, but photos just mean so much to me. Dd was very very poorly when she was 6 weeks old and she pulled through just before her first xmas, and we got to bring her home from hospital. It was such a special time, and I feel so awful to have not managed to keep any mementos of it.

What on earth can I do now?

Oh I feel for you. I had a similar situation but lost 3 mths. What about writing your memories. How it felt to have her home. What her favourite toy and song was etc to fill the gap?

In her Christmas book you could write the story of how she was so poorly and she did really well in hospital and (Christmas miracle) she was able to come home for hey first Christmas; then your memories of her ‘missing Christmas’.

I am sure when she is older she will understand it was an accident, don’t beat yourself up about it.

Your love for both your children is what matters.

Have friends got any ?

Someone I know recently asked on Facebook if anyone had photos of her youngest as she realised she was lacking quite a few.

Hi I’m the third child in my family. Hardly any pics of me. I slowly realised this as I got older. Loads of my brows about 20? Of me!! I survived!!

As for the book. Why don’t you write down you warmest memories on those pages instead? Maybe with some keep sales from that time if you have any? Everyone loves hearing about themselves as a kid from their mum
Don’t beat yourself up OP fwiw you sound like a lovely mum x

Thank you so much, I'd never have thought of doing that. I'm thinking of going through the xmas deccy box, am sure I could find some little ornaments of hers or something.

I feel so stupid, and I still feel sick about it years later. Photos are just one of those things you cant get back.

We have nothing at all from the first 12 yrs of our lives after a house fire. I can't say it's made any difference to my adult life to be honest.

Thanks @HettieBettie that made me want to cry a little.

I am going to try asking round family and friends again. See if they have some lurking on their phones. Might also check dh's social media too. Didnt think to check there.

Just before she got admitted to hospital she was doing some acting work and ended up on eastenders, might add that on there along with the get well card the cast and production team sent her. That might be a nice addition.

Am going to add last years Santa letter I photocopied and everything i can find.

Check with all friends and acquaintances. I have the odd photo of loads of people’s kids from parties etc. 5 people with 2 photos each will give you 10 more.

Do your family have any pictures of her? The added bonus might be that they have some with you in them? Alternatively, I would take some photos of her favourite places, toys, anything that you can get your hands on that reminds you of her early days and then write about why they are significant. I really feel for you - we have a hard drive and I also back up into the cloud because I am so paranoid about this happened, so you have reminded me to upload the latest batch tonight!

See OP it’s going to be fine! Better than fine!

P.s I was feeding and posting - so hard to type 1 handed!! Sorry for making no Sense x

Are there millions of photos of you as a baby? I was born quite a while ago and there are a handful of me at each age. When I look through them, which I infrequently with my dc, we enjoy the 30 or whatever of me from start to adult. If there were 30000 they would lose their charm.
Having said that, there are fewer of my younger brother and I used to tell him that it's because they loved him less. I was a bit mean.

@Mumoftwoyoungkids I'd give anything for even another 2 photos. Just so it doesn't look so bare.

Hopefully I can explain to her when shes older. I over compensate now by taking millions of photos now

@DoJo definitely do it. Takes a few minutes but the pics are so precious and once they're gone they're gone. Now I back up to a cloud plus a separate hard drive. Worth every penny I pay for it too. I defo learned the hard way!

@Justlikedevon no I guess theres not loads of me. I'm an 80s child so people didn't take tonnes then I don't think. Never really thought much about how many there are. Come to think of it, the ones I remember are just the odd special one, at various different ages (as you've said).

Do you know anyone who can draw? Take some of the existing pics and draw her first Xmas?

Dad only bought a camera when my siblings were born and so there aren’t any baby photos of me. I haven’t even thought about it.

Sashh no I dont unfortunately. I guess I could try and find someone who could.
I also thought about taking one of her normal pics and editing with a christmassy overlay or frame to make it more festive.

I reckon mil will have some pics but shes useless with tech of any kind and will not know how to access her iCloud. I'll have try and pin her down to sitting with me and checking. She lives quite a way away so hard to get hold of her when I need her.

No one ever seems to take pics except me, they all ask me to do photos for birthdays/christmas/baptisms.

I'm the seventh child and I think there's 2 baby pics and maybe 5 of me between 1-10 years old. I'm not traumatised. I know they existed at one point but they were physical photos that have gone astray over the years.

If you don't make a big deal of it, it won't be a big deal for her. Losing data is just one of those things that happens sometimes. It's not because you didn't care about her.

Just thought OP My parents didn't take pictures of me. There is one black and white of my grandad holding me. My parents claim theu didn't have a camera, but there are pictures of my brother at 2, ie when I was a month or two old.

This bothered me for a week or two in my teens BUT, big huge but, my parents have NEVER been able to show embarrassing photos to boyfriends or put them in the paper for a 21st birthday. Worth there not being photos for me.

Re the getting someone to draw, if you have a college or VI form near an A Level art student should be able to do a pencil sketch from photos. I'm also sure someone on Etsy would do the same.

Thanks all, my dsil has found one of my dads albums and hes got her first xmas on there! Cant tell you how happy I am!
Think everyone is right though, I dont think be overly bothered as long as I have the odd few for her to look at. Thanks a million for all the ideas anyway x