How to be a good uncle

[FunkyKingston]

I have a two year old niece and due to work and her living at the othwr end of the country.

I've not seen as much of her as I'd like. I don't have any children of my own and wondered how do i play a positive role in her life? When i was growing up i had a childless uncle, who was very odd, remote and generally a bit clueless around children, visiting him was a massive chore. I'd dread to think of my niece thinking of me that way.

If anyone here whose children have a good relationship with their uncle or are close fo their own nieces and nephews, I'd be most grateful for some tips.

Sending them things through the post as they get older might work.
Visit as often as you can, and ask the parent how they are and how dn is, show an interest

That's a good idea, i worry that put of sight is very much out of mind at that age!

Is it your brother or sister's daughter?

Ask after her. Remember what you have been told and comment on it. My brother does this. It feels nice. (I'm a single parent.)

The fact you are even thinking about it makes me think you must be a lovely Uncle.

The fact you are typing this makes me feel you will be fine.

When you see the child, just play with them.

Children need time, thats all.
Play in the house with toys / find out what they enjoy, art and crafts, hide and seek, visiting a shop.

Sending inexpensive small gifts are fine but dont become "Uncle Money"

Skype when she is a bit older.

Compare drawings.

Tell a story of how you saw a cat/dog/duck yesterday.

And also in person visits obviously.

But the sending of stuff in the post is good, doesn’t have to be anything big/expensive.

The best gifts are something I really like - so a card of a jumper wearing cat.

My brother is q great uncle. He always chucked dd upside down and took her to the park or up trees or to collect sticks. He feeds her ridiculous food and even more ridiculous combinations. He would insist they have breakfasts of chocolate. He would always buy sweets from somewhere when they went on their little adventures out. Piggy backs to bed, tickles and wrestling. Daft name no-one else calls her. He isnt often around, physically and often emotionally, but trries hard when he can. He adores her and it is very much reciprocated.

#Not visiting a shop#
Suppose to of said "going to the park"

I had a favourite and much loved uncle, he used to send me a postcard from every place he visited. I collected them for years.

My uncle rang me today to borrow £££. He’d already tried most of my family.

Honestly, you’ll be great.

I'm a fab childless aunt! Close to niece and nephew.

It sort of depends on the parents I think.

But never forget a birthday, send things at Xmas, send random things, postcards from holidays etc. Make the effort to see her.
I saved for mine so gave them money when they left home, when I had an inheritance etc.

My nephew used to phone me now and then, when he was stressed, for someone to talk to. He's 28 now and he says I've been a great aunt.
Just keep in touch.

This is exactly like my sister. She has no kids and lives hundreds of miles away. We only see her every 2-3 months but when she's here she is AMAZING with my 2 toddlers. She just plays with them, chases them, does all the stuff that seems so repetitive to a parent (endless games, hide and seek, throwing them about loads), takes them out for ice cream or to the park, just generally really enthusiastic and interested in them. In all honesty it exhausts me just watching her in action, but they adore her. She also sends postcards (don't think they appreciate that yet) and every time she sees them she brings some random small gift so they love that. You could also do lots of facetime/WhatsApp video calls to keep in touch.

Playing works. I'm local to my niece but always competing with my brother for "fave family member" because when he's here he just plays with niece constantly and I can't keep up with that!

My brother sees my kids for one afternoon about six times a year and does nothing in between - but they and my niece absolutely adore him. I think it's because he spends time playing with them at their pace as though they're the bosses and is happy for gentle roughhousing and being pushed around - plus does nothing around meals, bedtimes, discipline etc to take the edge off that power balance just 100% pure playtime with them in charge.

Great suggestions so far.

We have long distance family. Record videos of yourselves reading kids bedtime stories. Show your face and the pictures in the book. Email it so the parents can play it in their own time - so much easier than Skype at bedtimes which can be tricky for timing. YouTube CBeebies bedtime stories to see how it works, kids love it and feel important that you’ve taken the time to do this. Library for kids books.
As they get older send them a copy of the the same book so you can read it together either on skype at a mutually convenient time, or along to a video.

Don't forget her birthday, and a present at Christmas.

Maybe send her a book through the post occasionally.

When you visit, talk to her. Show an interest in what she is showing you eg her Painting, Lego model etc.

Ask your sibling, on the phone/via text/email/What's App etc how she is doing.

Thanks, i think i have quite a few hours of hide and seek ahead of me! I like the idea of skype too!