To have followed up with a threat?

[Beefandmixed]

Iv name changes as I’m sure some family members are on here but the details are still outing, but here goes. I have a ds who is 9 he been going though a faze (I’m hoping) of not listening, not bringing books home from school and I guess just generally switching off. Iv been threatening to take his x box away if things didn’t improve and eventually followed through with the threat. And the agreement was it came back if and when things improved, they now have and so next weekend he can go back on it. Now the aibu part is his grandad picked him up from school today and took him for tea, he does spoil him which I know my grandparents did with me but when he returned with my ds he seemed to have an issue with the fact he had lost his xbox telling me I wasn’t always good and why was I asking my ds to go and do his homework when he returned he should have play time! I explained our rule is homework is done on Fridays freeing up the weekend for his activities and usually a sleepover. After he left I received a message saying how disappointed he was that he couldn’t play on the game with my ds (which he has only done maybe 3 times if that in a year) and that I had made him do homework. So have I missed something? wibu or him? I am so sorry for the long rant but oh isn’t home and I feel so frustrated.

You and your husband makes the decisions on how to discipline your children. Grandad doesn't get a say and he doesn't have to like it. End of. Ignore him.

Sounds like your son has Grandad wrapped round his finger. I would ignore Grandad for now but expect him to undermine you in some way. Probably by buying him another xbox or some such.

Yanbu.

But if things have improved why is it another week until he can have the x box back? That does seem a bit extreme.

Seems like a harsh punishment for what sounds like typical disorganised 9 year old behaviour. Think Grandad might have a point on this one!

Part of me feels like saying I’m the parent but I just think let it go but then to get a message too just really got on my nerves he has always been like this with me but I did have a think about maybe was I too harsh or strict my son is not by any means naughty he’s pretty horizontal and the not listening seems to fit his personality but it was just getting ridiculous. Taking the game away has worked and the homework thing at the weekend is a rule I will not change but I do think ds is probably spinning a bit of a story to my dad at times.

We said another week so that he maintains his behaviour, school books that hasn’t come home for two weeks have finally turned up today and his general attitude and listening seems to have done a u turn so we wanted him to keep it up then get it back.

I don’t think it’s harsh.

You warned your ds about the consequences and then you followed thro.

Your ds will think twice before before not doing his schoolwork/leaving his school books at school in future.

I don’t tihnk he’s too young either, he needs to learn now score he starts messing up his secodnary school work.