To say the wrong thing then feel s**t!

[Lovenel]

Lately when talking with others I've said the wrong thing then when leaving I've felt like crap wishing I would have said something else which would have sounded a whole lot better! I think because it's been in the ear shot of others makes it worse because I then feel they think negatively of me when it could have all been avoided if I'd just said what I wished I would have said in the first place.

Bump

I'd it that unusual that's it's only me?

Do you mean you did this once, or it's something you do a lot.

I'm forever tangling my words up, normally when talking to big bosses at work lol, and coming away feeling like a dick. But no-one else seems to notice!

Are you overthinking your response and reactions to others? It sounds like you're dealing with some anxiety.

Can you give an example? You're probably overthinking it.

It's probably your inner critic telling you that you said the wrong thing. Can you think of a memorable/traumatic experience in your childhood that might have made you feel like you always say the wrong thing? Maybe another child laughing at you or a teacher harshly saying 'you shouldn't have said that' or a parent saying 'you always say the wrong thing?'. Anything like that.

Honestly, you think this over way more than anyone else.

Unless of course, you said.... off you fuck then cuntychops?

Can you give us an example, OP? I mean, are you being tactless, or unkind?

Hi thank you for the replies.
An example would be:
My dd loves playing in the garden, I was chatting to someone who said her dd never plays in the garden and with toys, I then said mine doesn't either she never plays out there. But she does and it annoyed my that I said that because it's not true.

The next example is my dd wanted to go into the shop for sweets, she asked a couple of times I just kept saying 'you can't' each time she asked. This was in the ear shot of the same people I told dd never playing in the garden. The reason she couldn't was because we were on the way to a play centre with plenty sweets there. And I was again annoyed at my self that I didn't say 'Oh we are going the play centre now, you can have sweets there.'

Now I'm thinking all those people must be thinking how mean, must a rubbish mum and so on because all they think is my dd doesn't play in the garden or with toys and I wouldn't take her I the shop when in was right inftont of us. Off just both are not true but from what I've told them it is so its what they believe.

do you mean you did this once, or it's something you do a lot

I've been doing it a lot lately.

Noone is going to think you’re a shit parent for saying not buying sweets every time your child nags for them. Trust me.

Is this one particular person who makes you anxious, or is it a coincidence that both the examples you’ve listed involve the same person?

I think it's the coincidence that it involves the same person/people because of of the toys/garden situation.

But whether or not you said your child played in the garden makes absolutely no difference to anyone else, whether or not it was true, OP. They will not even have registered it.

Neither will they have registered a mother refusing to let her child eat sweets, because all parents do this all the time. It's like breathing.

I'm more interested in the first example where you said something that wasn't true, despite the fact that there was no pressure on you to lie, and the thing you were telling an untruth about was completely unimportant to the person you were talking to. Why do you think you did? Do you have an urge to agree with people, whatever they say, because you're nervous in conversation?

Why do you think you did? Do you have an urge to agree with people, whatever they say, because you're nervous in conversation

I think I was a bit nervous and I think I thought I "needed" to agree.
I've been trying to think of ways to stop this but I don't know where to start

Has anyone else experienced similar?

I do this, op! I get nervous and flustered and say something that's just now what I should have said! Also I do beat myself up about things like that too much - always have to remind myself that no one will remember or care in 5 mins, 5 days, 5 months, 5 years