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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want people selling things to me when I go shopping

76 replies

DaniEvans · 23/11/2018 16:37

Is it just me or does anyone here get cross with various sales people loitering in supermarket foyers trying to sell something?

If I want RAC cover or a new mobile phone contract then I can go and sort that out myself - I don’t want someone telling me what I need or should have when I pop to the shops!

Someone earlier trying to get me to sponsor a pet, then in another shop just as the RAC person was about to pounce I said ‘no thank you’ with a big smile.

I think what baffles me the most is it must be effective because otherwise sales people wouldn’t be there?

AIBU to get increasingly cross because I feel harassed by people trying to sell me stuff I don’t want when I go shopping?

OP posts:
FearLoveAndTheTimeMachine · 24/11/2018 06:26

Many, many jobs are shit and low paid and soul destroying CoalTit. It sucks. But I don’t think that the people doing this job are any different to the people stacking shelves or cleaning toilets.

Zoflorabore · 24/11/2018 06:34

Ugh I hate this.
I was stopped last week in my city centre by a jolly looking man asking me if I was happy!
He said that he was selling joke books to raise awareness for MH and that he has a wife and 6 kids then asked me if I'm from a big family. The joke books were £3 and were knocked up on a computer by the look of it.

I told him that I myself suffer from MH issues and can't afford £3 so he said "can you afford £2 then?"
I just walked off. Seriously pisses me off.

The chuggers at the door give me the rage.
"I'm not trying to sell you something" yes you are or you wouldn't be here. Piss off and leave me alone.

Urbanbeetler · 24/11/2018 06:35

I am SO going to look them in the eye and tell them I’m 15, Watching.

See whether they challenge this grandmother!!!

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 24/11/2018 07:30

I am SO going to look them in the eye and tell them I’m 15, Watching.

See whether they challenge this grandmother!!!

Just tell them that you self-identify as 15.

Food and perfume I tell them that I have allergies and intolerances (true) and they back away. Everyone else just gets a no thank you. I think if you start off firm with a no then most people back off. I have a few more rebuffs if I need them.

onthenaughtystepagain · 24/11/2018 07:42

In the foyer of Range it's Wills, Do you have a Will Madam? My reply, Do I look that ill? usually shuts them up.
I cannot stand people being pushy who actually working the shop, we were out looking for a dining table etc., one woman came up Can I help you? Not at the moment, thank you. She then persisted in following a us around, Are you looking for anything special? etc etc.. eventually I became very annoyed and told her she might sell more if she were to let people look in peace and we walked to the door. She then started yelling at us, I'm only doing my job! same as the Nazis at Nuernberg.

Zoflorabore · 24/11/2018 07:43

I'm going to The Range today! Will look out for them...

I have my reply ready Grin

Twooter · 24/11/2018 07:44

The ‘sponsor for £Xs month’ one annoy me when they don’t have an option to just put something in a tin there and then. Eg Guide dogs - would be happy to put money in a tin, but really don’t want to have to give out bank details and ID just to donate a few quid. But no, this isn’t possible. It has to be bank details.

TheStoic · 24/11/2018 07:45

That’s what earphones are for. Sometimes I’m not even listening to anything.

Sweetpotatoaddict · 24/11/2018 07:56

shoppingwithmother I hate m&s for this. There was even someone bellowing in the middle of the food aisles the other day with microphone. I’d gone in for a wander and I couldn’t get out quick enough. Took my one item to the self service checkout and there was someone pedalling biscuits, despite saying no thanks she continued to tell me what tasty biscuits they were...........
I emailed M&S basically saying what your post did, and as per M&S usual (defending of the indefensible) got an email back defending their tactics.
Was also in Aldi and Waitrose that week for a browse and spent longer in both because there was no one trying to up sell me or shouting in a manner more akin to a market stall.

CoalTit · 24/11/2018 09:01

Many, many jobs are shit and low paid and soul destroying CoalTit. It sucks. But I don’t think that the people doing this job are any different to the people stacking shelves or cleaning toilets.

You wouldn't get people on mumsnet happily discussing the ways they disconcert, mortify, shut down, piss off and humiliate shelf stackers or toilet cleaners.

CoalTit · 24/11/2018 09:10

And I doubt you'd get anyone comparing a toilet cleaner to the Nazis at Nuremberg

RoseGoldEagle · 24/11/2018 09:35

They’re just doing their jobs, take it up with the store if you have a problem. It never remotely bothers me in that I just smile, say ‘no thanks’ and move on. They know loads of people will say no- they’re not ‘floored’ or ‘embarrassed’ by you saying you’re bankrupt or foreign or whatever, they don’t care- if it’s a no it a no. If someone continues to hassle you then yes that’s annoying. But just a ‘are you interested in...?’ ...’no thanks!’ - I never get why it winds people up so much!

TroysMammy · 24/11/2018 09:44

It's the shops that try to flog chocolate when you are purchasing other items that annoy me, WH Smith. If I wanted chocolate I would have thought of it before I got to the till.

Slowtrain2dawn · 24/11/2018 10:49

I tell chuggers that myself and DH work for small charities on low salary's and with uncertain futures so can't commit to any kind of monthly donation. (It's true!) I like the bankrupt answer but would be scared to tempt fate!
Other marketing stuff I just repeat no thank you.

FearLoveAndTheTimeMachine · 24/11/2018 11:21

Oh I agree CoalTit. Sorry I didn’t click you were talking about people’s attitudes rather than the person doing the job of a chugger.

Justanotheruser01 · 24/11/2018 11:37

I can't stand when im asked for my email address for a back up receipt for my refund especially when I have paid cash.

BonnieF · 24/11/2018 11:38

I used to be nice and polite to these people, then I realised that they interpret good manners as weakness, so the niceness stopped.

Whether it’s RAC, double glazing, energy sellers or nauseating charity chuggers, I now just completely blank them. At first, this felt uncomfortably rude, but now I really don’t care. They are the rude ones, with their intrusiveness, pushiness, harassment and guilt tripping, so why shouldn’t I reciprocate in kind?

Yulebealrite · 24/11/2018 11:39

I really don't see what the problem is. A confident cheery "no thank you" with a smile whilst you carry on walking, normally works. If not just a repeated no thank you as you carry on walking. People don't follow you. At tills it costs nothing to just repeat "no thank you. I'm not interested" with a smile. If you try to answer with an excuse, they have something to counteract it. They can't counteract no thank you or I'm not interested thank you. Same on a phone.

No need for all these tying yourself in knots and other shenanigans.

PoisonousSmurf · 24/11/2018 11:40

I had one years ago when they were trying to flog dental insurance. The bloke always had something to say about people's teeth if they said no.
They soon got moved on, as they pissed loads of people off!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 24/11/2018 11:44

So when you go to buy things you dont want people to try and sell you things? Maybe you also hate it when shops put things you like but dont really need near to the things you do need. Perhaps you could boycott these shops or just grow up and if you dont want something say no!

You're completely missing the point there. Absolutely nobody is offended by a shelf of goods that they don't want just sitting there passively, waiting for people who do want them, and everybody else can just keep walking on by. In every single shop you go in, you know full well that you won't be buying 99.9999% of the goods for sale in there.

The big, important thing is that people want to be able to select the goods that they do want and ignore those that they don't. If that's such a difficult concept to understand, would you object if every shop you went in immediately presented you with a trolley the size of a Hummer, containing one of every item they sell, and 'simply' told you to remove the items you don't want?

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 24/11/2018 11:47

There used to be a woman who was in the doorway of a local Boots store, who was flogging monthly subscriptions to a children’s hospice. She absolutely wouldn’t let you get away, if you were foolish enough to acknowledge her and had all the guilt tripping chat. So I don’t agree RoseGoldEagle. I think some of them are invested in signing up as many people as possible and she did seem to take it personally if you tried to step away. I did complain in the store too, because I’m sure it must put some people off going in.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 24/11/2018 12:16

I agree with PPs about being asked to give emails and postcodes at the till. With the email, they usually tell you it's to send you an electronic receipt, so it's easier to find if you need to query or return a purchase, but this is so obviously a lie. I'm amazed that it's legal to take somebody's email under false pretences that it's for a one-time single message and then to add it to your regular marketing-spam list without getting their express permission.

Some retailers just don't seem to understand the (you would assume) obvious fact that stalking people will make them avoid you completely, or at the very least seriously damage people's perception of the quality of their brand - which is presumably one reason why they spend so much money advertising it in the first place (i.e. to strengthen, not damage it!).

It's the same with online purchases. If I buy from a company and they subsequently send me their newsletter or latest offers every month or so, I don't really mind that - and it can indeed be a helpful (to me) and therefore profitable (to them) reminder that I might want to look again at their website to see if there's anything I want.

However, when I buy one small thing from them (especially if they're often the kind of companies that sell things that no one person needs very frequently - if ever more than once) and they instantly add me to their daily-spam list, I ignore it for the first few days and then just hit 'unsubscribe' (not that I actively subscribed in the first place) - meaning that they've completely lost that potential sales contact forever through their own idiotic stalking.

How difficult is it to understand? If people get an email every six weeks from you, they very well may think "Ah, email notification - who's that from. Ooh, it's XXXXX company - I wonder if they have any good offers or interesting new products." If they get an email every day, they open it and think "Not them again - just leave me alone, will you." They then associate your brand name with hounding, desperation and causing annoyance and then promptly unsubscribe and/or block you.

Not to mention the e-tail sites that keep showing intensely irritating pop-ups to inform you that "A customer in Lisburn is also currently looking at this item" or that "Sixteen people have bought this item this week." On what planet do you think that I, a (potential) customer could care less about what your other customers do? It's valuable information to you; I, however, couldn't give a stuff.

I can just about abide it if stock is very limited and the message is that I might miss out if I don't decide to buy now (as with used goods being sold by individuals on eBay), but these are invariably shops that have vast stocks of popular new items as well as easy access to unlimited re-stocks from their suppliers.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 24/11/2018 12:28

There used to be a woman who was in the doorway of a local Boots store, who was flogging monthly subscriptions to a children’s hospice. She absolutely wouldn’t let you get away, if you were foolish enough to acknowledge her and had all the guilt tripping chat. So I don’t agree RoseGoldEagle. I think some of them are invested in signing up as many people as possible and she did seem to take it personally if you tried to step away. I did complain in the store too, because I’m sure it must put some people off going in.

This^ I wonder if stores realise how off-putting this is to many potential customers. Of course, you can say no, but they often thrive on the awkwardness that they deliberately generate through their well-rehearsed sales routines. Even if they aren't being paid and are just passionate about a particular charity, they need to understand that people only have so much money and that not everybody will be as passionate about the charity as they are (or they may support the stated aims but have serious misgivings about the management structure and/or methods employed by the charity).

By all means leave a table of leaflets out or a trolley for people to put donations in for the local food bank or pet rescue centre if they wish to, but folk just do not want to run the gauntlet of hawkers, chuggers, charity collectors, double glazing sellers, utility switchers etc who approach them with an intimidating patter.

I feel sorry for the smaller High Street stores who happen to be located next to where the chuggers decide to set up their pitches. They haven't agreed to their presence, but must suffer from people rushing by to avoid them when they might otherwise stop and browse and potentially buy. If I were them, I'd petition the council for a reduction in business rates owing to the wholly-avoidable blight on the profitability of my shop.

GummyGoddess · 24/11/2018 13:29

Yulebealrite I have tried the not interested, but they then yell 'What?! Don't you care about dying children?!'. I find that mortifying as everyone turns around, so I give them an excuse instead.

mumstuffistoughstuff · 24/11/2018 13:50

The last time I told a charity person I wasn't interested he said (quite aggressively) 'don't you care about all those children who won't get a meal this christmas?' Utterly pissed me off because he's already stopped me trying to end the conversation and shut the door twice so I just said 'honestly, no I don't. I don't know those children and am more concerned about my own every day of the year not just at Christmas so thank you and goodbye' and then for good measure my 3 year old DS gave him the V's out the window for which I was immensely proud told him off.
If someone tries to stop me in street for a charity or service I just say I already give to the cause/have that service and carry on walking. If I'm not quick enough to say that though and they try to badger me I go with something along the lines of 'my child is about to piss himself so I'm busy right now thank you' (if child isn't with me then I replace him with me about to piss myself)
One person actually offered to buy me a birthday present in return for signing up to donate to a children's charity! (It was my birthday that day and I was wearing one of those corny badges my mum likes to get me every year)