A few years back I got a permanent job offer, moved out of a flatshare onto my own. Most people in my office are women, and you don;t get to meet any new people, most of my friends are single, and I don't really go out loads, so I thought my best chance to meet someone would be through speed or online dating. The first one was a waste of time, as most people were coming with friends who were already taken or only came for company, so I then went on a number of dates through various online portals.
Now, Im in my early 30s, and would love some stability in my life, and to be honest I am not interested in casual relationships/friends with benefits, etc. I dont expect a guy to propose to me after a month, and possibly would be happy with no wedding, but I dont think it's unreasonable to expect meaningful long-term relationship.
I was surprised how many men in their 30s or 40s are not interested in any sort of relationship at all. And I talk of men who actually were seeking second/third/fourth dates etc and looked interested, not those with whom things clearly didn't work. It happens, not all things are meant to be and I'm not bitter about it, but can't help feeling like a lot of profiles are from people who just want to kill time and end up wasting time.
A large proportion of men I saw were after someone they can sit next to in a restaurant or a cinema. They did not want to look lonely, but were actually really happy being on their own. One dude went as far as spending half of the date talking how much he likes his one room apartment and how it's so perfect for one and how he would not want to change it. I thought maybe he just didn't fancy me, fair enough, but then he kept on messaging, we met a few more times, each time the same scenario- admire him because of his high-pressure work, have dinner, bye bye, see you next week. And again, and again.
OK, I get it, not everyone is in it for the same reasons as my, but it was not an idea I got from his profile. And why look for 'love' on the Internet, if all he wanted was someone to take to a work party, so that other people would not see him as single. (And btw, there was no mention of sex- my friend was very inquisitive of that).
My impression is that some men (although it could be the same with women- I don't know?) just want to find someone to whom they can moan/boast about work, eat dinner with and they go back to their cosy single lives. Which is fine, if you're open about it!