Snoring like a freight train

[OnceUponAThread]

OH is currently lying next to me, snoring louder than anything in the world.
I've tried regular prodding to push him onto his side, but he he sleeps quietly for 10 minutes then rolls back onto his back and the snoring starts up again.
It's 2am and I have work tomorrow. WIBU to bury him under the patio?

This is untenable. Is he overweight?

I feel your pain! Banish him to the sofa!!

No not overweight, he just tends to snore (loudly) on his back.

Usually fine because getting him on his side is easy, but it just won't stick tonight.

Three times he's got so loud he's half woken himself up, rolled onto side, only to roll back five minutes later.

Argh!

How can I have my revenge tomorrow?

Wrap his head in plastic bags. Seal them with duct tape. That will stop the snoring.

This is a very tempting proposition.
Not sure where the duct tape is though.

Can I just bop him over the head with something? Or too messy?

How can he be snoring so loudly he wakes himself up. And how does he manage to go straight back to sleep / snoring immediately. You'd think I'd at least have an opportunity window to nod off!!!

That said, last week he dreamt he was falling down some stairs and accidentally elbowed me in the head.

This is not the bedroom shenanigans I signed up for.

I believe a clothes peg has been known to be helpful in these situations...

I've finally achieved blessed silence (for now at least) but the greedy bastard has totally nicked all the duvet and wrapped himself in it.

Want to steal it back but what if I shift him into the snoring position?!?

Cold and quiet surely better than the room shaking snores.

Can I LTB yet?

I feel your pain. Dh tonight is doing a magnificent impression of a chainsaw.
He also has terrible farts.
I'm feeling so lucky

Solidarity Lofari. Perhaps we need a support group!

Get yourself another duvet for the bed. It is revolutionary! I'm all snuggly and warm under my 4 tog, and he can boil under his preferred 13 tog. Also gives more space to turn your back on the snoring, and muffle the noise with some nice soft fabric.
Mine is usually described as a rumbling volcano.

My last relationship ended because of snoring.

I couldn't cope with 2 hours sleep a night

I feel anxious even thinking about it

Put a pillow over his face and keep it there. That'll work!

Or earplugs.

I used to kick ex dp to the couch. I’ve never experienced fury like being woken up whilst I was heavily pregnant by snoring.

Get him to the drs to find a solution before you kill him.

This happens to me anywhere between 4 and 30 times a night. Once it gets past 8 or so I have to gauge whether to decamp to dd1’s bed. If she’s in it sometimes I try the sofa myself.
If he’s not snoring it’s circular breathing. It’s a toss-up which is worse. Last Christmas I couldn’t decamp anywhere as all the sleeping spaces were full, so was growling and venting in earshot of MIL. Who said FIL breathes in exactly the same way.
Fecking genetic nocturnal fecking bastarding wife torture.
This year I might make them share and i’ll Share with mil.

Ltb. It'll make you ill.

Ha. A couple of weeks ago, my 7 year old had a very bad cold. He woke everyone in the flat several times every night for over a week with his awful snoring and whining in his sleep. DH and I took it in turns to decamp to the guest sofabed the furthest point away from him (though you could still hear him). Our 4 year old would end up joining us half way through the night. Couldn't all leave DS though cos he was poorly and woke multiple times and needed cuddles.

On a serious note, SIL had this with DB. Turns out he has sleep apnea. A mask has really helped

I have my own bedroom now (I realise this isn't always a possible solution) but I'd think seriously about it OP, it's life changing getting a full night's sleep every night and our relationship is better for it.

Separate rooms (opposite ends of the house)....saves me wanting to kill him! Nightmare when we have guests staying!

We had years of me decamping to the couch or losing my rag in the middle of the night until DH did.

Now dcs have left school we usually have a spare room ie two - bliss!

DH has been sleeping in youngest dc's room since he started uni in September. I haven't slept so well in years and hadn't realised just what a difference regular unbroken nights' sleep would make to my general well-being.

Does he wear pyjamas or similar to bed? The traditional "cure" was to sew a tennis ball into the pyjama top to stop him rolling onto his back

Very much enjoying everyone's description of their own snoring woes!

OH had to get up very early this morning. Went for a kiss and a cuddle only to get a growled "if you wake up... so help me I will quite cheerfully murder you."

Not sure separate rooms is an answer, for us. Tennis ball / upturned dagger in the back of pyjamas might be a solution though - if I can convince him to wear them!

Put lots of pillows behind him against his back so he can't roll flat.

My OH thinks I have so many pillows in bed to support my bump, but this is the real reason.