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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not cook a proper Christmas dinner?

122 replies

littlemisssunshine81 · 22/11/2018 17:07

Christmas Day is just me, DH and DC. DC are all under 5 and would probably appreciate fish fingers way more than a roast with stuffing etc. Last year I cooked the whole shebang then was annoyed as it was a lot of effort that wasn’t really eaten by DC and then DH and I spent the rest of the week trying to eat it all so as not to waste it. Just all seems a bit daft to me so this year I’m quite tempted to do a nice steak for me and DH and let the kids have whatever they want. Unreasonable?

OP posts:
BiddyPop · 23/11/2018 12:17

Just because its Christmas does not mean that you HAVE to have turkey.

If you are worried about waste, most Thanksgivings I get a small turkey breast to roast as it's just DH, DD and I for a midweek dinner - we might get 1 turkey sandwich from the leftovers.

In fact, I just did it again last night, only it included neighbours this year, so a larger breast for "8-10 people" (M&S freezer section the day before) - I fed 7 and there's enough for a small 2 person dinner leftover. 3 packs of parmentier potatoes from M&S, 2 tins of sweetcorn and some other veg from freezer (that I had pre-prepared, not with TG in mind), and a dish of HM stuffing (admittedly, that took about 6 minutes of prep and 25 minutes to cook - due to 20 minutes slow gentle frying of onions that I could mostly ignore while I tidied after Wednesday's dinner, on Wednesday night). It was on the table 2 hours after I turned on the oven, with minimal prep. (Which included me going back out to collect DD from school, corralling her to change into her Scouts uniform for her meeting, and setting the table etc as well).

It's nice to be able to spend time, as the day is a much slower pace, making a meal that you enjoy preparing and enjoy eating. THat doesn't need to mean hours in the kitchen, we tend to do 20-30 minutes getting it going together, and then someone pops in to baste things, or put another tray into the oven, at different points while we are opening presents and enjoying a glass of wine in the sitting room.

It's not about fussing over 20 different sides and 5 sauces just because it's Christmas.

Our starter is a tray (or maybe 2 if we fell particularly hungry) of M&S party food which is put into the oven while we get things organized, and then eat while opening presents.

Cheese board comes out about an hour after we finish main course.

And dessert is usually another hour after that - we like to let the meal settle and not rush it.

And if the DCs won't eat turkey, why inflict it on them?
If you and DH really want it, get a small piece to give you dinner and enough leftovers for sandwiches for 1 day (so DC can taste it if they are interested, as much as wanting sandwiches).

But what would the DC really like, that is not TOO much hassle to make? Would they eat a different meat - sausages, fish fingers, chicken goujons? - with potatoes and veg? Or will they be looking for something like pasta, or pizza?

And what would they like for dessert? Jelly and ice cream? Some little brownies or doughnuts? Fruit salad?

Would they eat crackers and grapes off a cheeseboard, if you and DH actually wanted cheese? Or have a mild cheese that they might like, even if you wouldn't normally put it on a cheese board - what is Christmas without a couple of cheesestrings?! (As in, that means they feel they are part of it).

Make it a special dinner in a way that is meaningful to YOU. Would you and DH like a fillet steak, because you never get to treat yourselves to that? 2 pieces of fillet would be a lot less than a whole turkey, I'm guessing.

Or do you want to cook something that takes hours of long slow cooking that you can mostly ignore like a small leg or a shoulder of lamb or of pork.

A really good stew or tagine.
A particular dessert that you can enjoy later on when the DCs have gone to bed.

And you can have it either in the middle of the day, or in the evening around normal dinner time - or you can even be totally rebellious and have it mid afternoon when a good hearty breakfast has worn off, but not so late the DCs will still be over-full when it gets to bedtime.

On a separate note, in terms of having some nice things for you and DH to enjoy and perhaps tempting DCs to trying new things, we started doing "platter" dinners a few years ago. It started as a Christmas Eve thing, and we now do it maybe once a month or so on Sundays as DD really doesn't like roasts. Nice sliced cooked or cured meats (nice regular ham, parma ham, salami, etc), cooked prawns (all shell off), smoked salmon, olives, carrot and pepper sticks (for dipping), hummus, pesto, breadsticks, cherry tomatoes, a couple of cheeses, crackers, ......not all of these together, but a mix of a few different bits and pieces to enjoy, with Christmas Eve versions being a bit more luxurious.
The interesting thing was that when everything is put on the table in the middle, for people to serve themselves, they will eat more. You need to make sure there is sufficient that you KNOW the DCs will eat, but put a few things that you like that they are not keen on or haven't tried before - when they are not being forced to by it already being on their plates, but just by watching other people choosing and eating it, they are more open to trying a little bit, and having some more if they like it.

Just because Everyone Else does it one way (and the reality is that - no they don't all do it that way!), doesn't mean that you shouldn't adapt Christmas Day to make it exactly how YOU and DH (and the DCs to an extent - but knowing you and DH will be doing the work) want it to be.

OMFL · 23/11/2018 12:46

Yup me too! I can't cope with food waste and that's all that happens every year. The children claim its just a fancier roast and we have that every week anyway. Nobody eats it the next day and it costs a bloomin fortune! Enjoy what ever you decide to have! We have agreed on Chinese- all home made.

BiddyPop · 23/11/2018 12:56

And YYY to others saying don't overcook.

Only cook as much as you will comfortably eat on the day or that you are happy having as leftovers.

If you DO a roast of some sort, pick 1 veg that you and DH will really love, and 1 veg that you know the DCs will eat, and that's enough.

You can always freeze leftover meat - Christmas turkey as the basis of a pasta bake in February and as a curry (with a jar of sauce) in March is much more palatable than both being immediately after the roast meal.

But only buy as much as you WANT to eat - not a whole bird that will feed 14 because "that's what everyone does, and everyone always loves the leftovers".

TheViceOfReason · 23/11/2018 14:27

Play the "what would you last meal be" game then have that!

I love a good christmas dinner, so we have that - but if we weren't fussed then i'd go for a rare fillet steak, sweet potato chips and a creamy garlic mushroom sauce.

percheron67 · 23/11/2018 17:11

I have never enjoyed turkey. Now I am on my own, I have lobster. Delicious.

rosydreams · 23/11/2018 17:22

you could even get a few frozen to oven party food for the kids make a kind of buffet for them to just munch on through the day

even though my other half and i like a roast on christmas day i tell my daughter its eat what you like day go nuts

i let her pick 3 treat items from the supermarket for on christmas

Geekster1963 · 23/11/2018 17:28

Go for it, I feel the same about Christmas dinner. We have to have it as my DH and In laws love it. I’d far rather spend more time with DD who’s 6 on than faff around cooking. I’d be happy with sandwiches Grin

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 23/11/2018 17:30

We have a vote every year. Once or twice turkey has been the winner, but mostly it's not. None of us really like it, so we chose from a selection of our favourite foods. This year it's steak pie, mash, sweetcorn and gravy. Usually there is a roast of some sort, but once we had fish and chips, which was fabulous after a really tough year.

Christmas is a celebration and there is nothing that kills a festive feeling quicker than having to eat food you don't like. Lots of people seem to get angry about what we eat (tradition lazy parents, kids need to learn etc), but since we aren't asking them to eat it too, I ignore them.

If your chosen menu makes you smile, it's the right one.

ZeldaSpellman · 23/11/2018 18:39

YANBU. We are not having a traditional christmas dinner this year! Every year I dread it. The hours of prep and cooking, the expense, the waste... and then I don't enjoy it because I'm tired and fed up after spending most of the day in the kitchen on my own. So fuck it. We'll have something different!

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 23/11/2018 18:54

Unreasonable?

I'm baffled that you and your DH can't decide what to eat on a particular day of the year without running it past online strangers.

What would happen if you didn't cook a Christmas dinner? Who would report you for unreasonable behaviour, and to which higher authority? Confused

CraftyGin · 23/11/2018 18:58

What do you want to do in the future, OP, when the DCs are old enough to appreciate it?

At some point, you have to start the tradition, and they will only remember it as a tradition if you start it before they remember it, if that makes sense.

You don’t have to go all out at Christmas, and end up with food waste. There are lots of alternatives to a full Turkey, such as a crown or even a chicken.

The important thing is spending time together #makingmemories

MiddlingMum · 23/11/2018 19:05

Nobody eats meat in our house so a turkey etc isn't an option anyway. We tend to have a nice vegan meal with lots of trimmings, but when the DC were small we once had pizzas as they were guaranteed to eat them without fuss.

There is no law that says you can't have fish fingers if you want. It's just a day - and a rather over-rated one at that.

Bowchicawowow · 23/11/2018 19:08

That sounds a bit miserable MiddlingMum Grin

StuntNun · 23/11/2018 19:16

When my two oldest were small I made them pizza for Christmas Day. They loved it and DH and I had our naice Christmas dinner in peace as the kids were happy. There's plenty of time for roast turkey with all the trimmings when they're older and will appreciate it.

bumblebee39 · 23/11/2018 19:23

I wish my kids didn't love a roast! It's the only meal other than bangers and mash they'll eat reliably!
I cheat though, and get a cook in the bag chicken, aunt Bessie's, premade Yorkshires if we have them, microwave veg and instant gravy.

Probably won't bother with turkey when chicken is cheaper and often tastier...

Wish I could cook nothing but fishfingers for the kids and cheese and crackers for myself 😂 but feel mandated as its one of the few "proper" meals they ever eat,

Never mind Xmas I do one most Sunday's (for my sins) but if you can get away with it then why the hell not??

Titsywoo · 23/11/2018 19:25

Have what you like! We're not even having a roast this year (well we are but on xmas eve with family). We're doing a buffet and spending the day in our PJs watching TV. Bliss!

glenthebattleostrich · 23/11/2018 19:27

We do a nice beef ribs with cheese board and lovely picky bits. Just keep topping up the table every so often and it lasts us all day.

There's just me, DH and DD (8). Neither are any help so I refuse to spend my whole Christmas in the kitchen. It's lovely and relaxed and we love it.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 23/11/2018 19:43

@CraftyGin - I can’t remember how old the dses were, before we started doing the proper Christmas dinner with them, but I’m sure that, at the very least, ds1 was old enough that he’d remember the change, and I honestly don’t think it has spoiled the tradition for them. I don’t even remember any of them noticing the change. So I don’t think the OP should worry - she can always introduce a new tradition later, if she wants to.

MiddlingMum · 23/11/2018 19:44

That sounds a bit miserable MiddlingMum But it wasn't, we had lots of fun that day. It just wasn't food-centred Grin

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 23/11/2018 19:50

@glenthebattleostrich - I love the idea of a buffet table that is topped up all day - my Labrador and my Labrador cross think it is a fine idea too! Grin

glenthebattleostrich · 23/11/2018 19:54

STG, bring the pups and some gin and you're welcome to come scoff ours!! My cocker cross would love it!!!

Seriously though, it is brilliant! Make sure everything is pre prepared and shed loads of wine and it's a pretty great day 😁. We eat, watch crap telly, build Lego and play silly board games. I love it!

glenthebattleostrich · 23/11/2018 19:56

Sorry, SDT!! No idea what happened with the random letters!

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 23/11/2018 20:00

I gave up doing turkey years ago! No one in my family really likes it and it is sooo overpriced at Christmas! For the price of a free range bronze turkey I can get a beef fillet, which is the same price all year. I do Gordon Ramsay 's beef Wellington, which everyone loves. It's a no brainer.

For context, though, I love to cook, and do another 5 courses Blush

slithytove · 23/11/2018 20:11

We do a ‘proper’ dinner but both our kids will eat veg and mash so that’s easy. They won’t have our meat (venison) though so they get chicken. It’s still special around a nicely set table with crackers etc

nokidshere · 23/11/2018 21:03

My two were always up so early they were pretty knackered by mid afternoon. We would do them a party tea of nice things, cheese, ham, crudités, mince pies etc, have the crackers and silly jokes and then when they were in bed (usually before 8pm) dh and I would have a nice dinner.

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