To think this bus driver is a bit of an arsehole

[Obiey]

On the double decker bus with DS1 - 3yrs and DS2 - 18m. DS1 wants to go on the top deck. I get on with the buggy already folded so we won't hold anyone up etc.

Time to get off. As we approach the stop I stand up, put bag on my back and hold DS2. I warn DS1 to be ready. The moment the bus stops he is up from his seat too and we head down the stairs. Half way down the driver yells at us to hurry up please! We had been less than 20 seconds at this point, and DS1 is actually getting down the stairs pretty fast albeit it slower than an adult. I'm helping him so he can go faster, I'm not fussing around at all or being all indulgent which I could have understood, I'm hurrying him down. I surprised myself by yelling back that we're going as fast as we can, he's only 3.

Oddly as we go past the driver then smiles and says "I can see you're trying" so perhaps he was trying to apologise but it didn't feel apologetic, he seemed to find it funny.

It's not a big deal I guess except it felt shitty to be yelled at in front of a bus full of people when I cannot see how I could have been quicker.

He probably gets miffed at waiting for little ones to come down stairs rather than staying downstairs. Given they are on such tight schedules.

Sounds like he acknowledged his impatience so let it go

you really should be ready at the door for when the bus stops. If I had a buggy and two small ones I wouldn't sit upstairs regardless of what the DC wanted to do. Don't forget, he's expected to adhere to his timetable.

To be fair 20 seconds after the bus has stopped is quite a long time - most people would easily be able to get from their seat to the bus stop in that time (provided they’re not disable or carrying heavy luggage or the bus isn’t busy). In future it might be easier for you to stay downstairs

Yeah you can’t really sit uosatirs with a buggy and two small children. The bus drivers have super tight schedules to keep to.

I would never wait for the bus to actually stop before getting up and ready. Especially with children and buggies. It's obvious that by doing that you're going to make the driver lose time. Imagine if every person at every stop waited and then made their way to the door. Poor sod would never get his round done.

I meant to say the bus was packed downstairs too, upstairs wasnt entirely to his whim. Its a long bus ride.

Sitting in the kitchen listening to the clock ticking now it was probably closer to 10 seconds as we were sat right near the stairs.

I can appreciate it could be annoying but cannot see that shouting at anyone is ok.

And the buggy wasn't upstairs it's sat by the door, didn't add any time to grab the handle as I went past. I'm surprised it's ok to be shouted at. You learn something new on mumsnet everyday.

He was an asshole, people shouldn't have to pander to bus drivers in bad moods, if they don't enjoy their jobs that's not your problem !

You need to come downstairs a stop or 2 before you're stop so you're ready but can still descend the stairs whilst the bus is stopped for someone else

I have kids that age and we never go upstairs unfortunately; they don't get to dictate. If i only have one child and we go upstairs as a treat, we always come down a couple of stops early.

Bus drivers are often dicks but you just can't take that much time, it's not fair to everyone else.

you're changing your story quite a bit there, OP

Even on a full bus I wouldn’t be going upstairs with little ones, not without making sure I was at least downstairs well before the stop anyway

People like you are the reason why my bus is 30 mins late every morning.

I'm surprised it's ok to be shouted at. Nobody's said that. People are just saying that they thought you were possibly in the wrong too.

At 10 seconds additional delay per person that would mean that there are 180 people like the OP on your bus every morning femidom. In which case they are major service users and their needs should be catered for.

The signs in the bus very clearly say. Please wait till the bus has come to a full stop before leaving your seat.

That is the official instruction from the bus companies.

People like you are the reason I don’t use public transport. The people around you have places to be and time to keep. Just stay downstairs in future.

To be fair I haven’t caught a bus since I was at school, but I would be paranoid that he wouldn’t see me coming downstairs and would drive off if I took that long. Imagine if he closed the doors and started driving and you missed your stop - that would have been the ultimate dick move rather than asking you to hurry.

I think going downstairs a stop or two early is good advice, it would stop the stress and faff when you need to get off.

I actually feel sorry for you. Being shouted at and humiliated isn't on - yes bus drivers are on tight schedules (my FIL is a bus driver) but the fact that you felt his apology wasn't an apology shows it's affected you. Maybe he did mean it as an apology but it wouldn't have hurt him to actually add the word "sorry".
Lots of young children like to sit upstairs on the bus but bus staircases are very steep and very difficult to negotiate when the bus is moving, especially if you've also got a bag, a baby and are trying to make sure your very young child doesn't fall, so don't feel bad.
Chances are, a lot of passengers were appalled by his behaviour and he's probably feeling pretty bad about it deep down. It sounds like his temper just got the better of him. My FIL has told us of times when he's been rude to passengers (not often, just the odd slip up) and then afterwards when the bee's left his bonnet, he's felt really bad and realised what an arse he's been.
We're all human and what he did was out of order, but try and let it go and realise it probably wasn't really about you but more to do with worries about meeting his schedule, traffic problems, other grumpy passengers etc etc and maybe just go upstairs in future if it's just you and your eldest or if you have someone else to help you until he's older and his little legs are longer to negotiate those stairs (although I still struggle with them now and I'm 41 - the joys of being a short-arse - this is the real reason I drive :D x

After falling down the stairs on a double-decker as I was climbing up to my seat (driver left the stop after I was on and swung round a mini-roundabout and I lost my grip near the top), I never go up and down the stairs when the bus is moving anymore (don't really sit upstairs at all now, tbh, after tearing all the ligaments in my knee).

Drivers should be able to wait a little for people to move without the bus moving and it's not always people with small children who are upstairs - I was a fit and healthy adult. Yes, there are timetables, but people should be able to use buses without worrying about being hurt.

I get the buses a lot and I never leave my seat until the bus has stopped. Whether I'm up or down stairs. In fact if I'm upstairs I definitely won't move till the bus comes to a complete stop in case the driver suddenly brakes and we all go flying downstairs.

The vast majority of people on the buses here don't stand up till it's stopped.

With those age children, I would have moved downstairs at one stop previous, and held on to the rail by the door for one stop. Or, depending on length of journey, said no to ds1 going upstairs.
He obvo shouldn't have shouted, but maybe now you know what other people do to avoid holding all the other passengers up.

I hate going upstairs on a bus as I am slow on stairs (no disability, I just get vertigo on them from time to time) and moving, lurching stairs on a bus are the worst!

I tend to wait until the bus has stopped to get up- that's what the bell is for.

Bus drivers have been twats forever though, I remember one shutting the doors as I was getting off when I was little and setting off, and my dad desperately sprinting along to the next bus stop.

He didn't shout at you

He shouted in general and if the bus was packed, no-one's going to hear him using a normal voice are they?

Add to that he probably had no idea someone was coming down the stairs with 2 kids in tow and I'd say you're taking it a bit too personally.