To wonder why men post on Mumsnet

[Strawbs11]

Just that really. As a long-time lurker (mostly on the AIBU boards), I have noticed the occasional post by men on here and it always takes me by surprise - I think because it's just such a female-orientated environment. AIBU to wonder how many men post on Mumsnet, what they get out of it and what female posters' thoughts are on it?

Good to hear from the guys! Since Mumsnet is for parents rather than mums (you learn something new every day, haha) I wonder why the split between male and female posters isn't more even? I might be wrong but from what I've seen, it seems to be about 98% women and 2% men. Is it purely down to the fact that it's called Mumsnet I wonder?

Since Mumsnet is for parents rather than mums

It’s for people, not just mums.

I guess there's an element of curiosity of what people talk about on here. First time on here so just testing the water really.

I wouldn't want to go and post on a site dominated by men.

I think it would be really hard to calculate a percentage split. There are possibly men on here posting as women and vice versa.

Doesn't surprise me at all. What does surprise me is the amount of never want to be parents on here.

Really? There's so much more that is discussed on Mumsnet beyond parenting and kids. I can see why it would appeal to people without kids (me!) just as much as those who do have them

Haven't you just answered your own question?

"by parents for parents"

I've been on MN for about 5 years I think, posting for about 3.

I'm a man brought up in an almost exclusively female family. All my friends are women. I don't want to be on a forum discussing cars, AV systems, porn stars, football or whatever other shite 'average man' talks about.

It's also quite fascinating (and sometimes a bit scary) to get a (sometimes unexpected) woman's perspective on things. The downside is that I'm a lot less confident with women since I've been on here, which is a shame (nest of vipers) .

I'm a lot less confident with women since I've been on here

Sorry to hear that FishesAPlenty!

OP. Do you have a problem with dads shopping in Mothercare? Of course not, it's just a name given to a shop. MN isn't any different really. It may have started out as a forum specifically for mums but it has grown. Look at all the boards that aren't about children. Holidays, TV, fIlms, music, dogs, gardening, most of the chat threads relationships aren't always about children, weight loss, exercise, sport, culture etc.

I spend time posting on another forum (hobby-related), and have used the same username on there for at least 5 years. Quite recently there was a bit of a spat on one of the threads, and someone retorted to a post of mine saying "I'll thank you Sir to keep your nose out" or something like that.

Sir?

I can't help wondering just how many other people on that forum think I'm a bloke.

Tbh I think it is more than a parent’s site. A number of posters don’t have children or have adult children. It is a site for people to talk, ask questions, laugh, cry, gain knowledge or impart information. To assume it is just for women or parents, diminishes it’s voice.

MN has actually opened my eyes to a lot of the unconscious sexism that goes on in even relatively enlightened society however. Oddly enough, when I raise these issues IRL with female colleagues (work in female-dominated workplace/discipline) they frequently are not bothered by the status quo, even going so far as to defend it in some cases! Strange because, as other MN feminists have commented, once you start to see it, you cannot understand it.

*unsee it

Stupid autocorrect.

No problem at all

It’s great to get advise and a different perspective from both men and women

I'm here as I'm a single dad and there's good advice for parents on here. And the parking threads are generally brilliant.

I’m a man. I post here occasionally. Because I’m a parent, and parenting is important to me. And because this is a good parenting site.

I also shop at Mothercare. I hope you’re ok with that.

And the parking threads are generally brilliant.

I've never read the parking threads - I may have to go and take a look!

but you're assuming which posters and men and which are women surely.

unless someone specifically says "i'm a man" how do you know whether they are or not.

and of course then you have to define what a man is anyway !

I think we reached peak parking thread a while ago.

It's not even a "parenting site" really. I've just been getting great advice on hedgehogs. My sex is certainly not relevant there.

Name change!

I'm a man and not a parent. I've posted infrequently for years. I usually post in gender neutral terms but did 'as a man' once previously because it was entirely thread-appropriate, as it is here.

I stick to AIBU, which I enjoy reading because it switches between funny and enraging. If it makes a difference, I'm a fairly effeminate straight man and have always found it easier to interact with women than men and most of my long term friends are women.

@Strawbs11 There isn't really another site like it though.

I'm a parent now but i've been here for over a decade, well before i was even considering having kids. Given that it's so easy to get sucked in to the wide variety of threads, i can definitely see why men might hang around.

I am a man, and joined so I could play the 'game of games', Mornington Crescent, which has been played on here from time to time.

Apart from playing the game of games, I find the perspective of those with young children useful, given that I work with a number of people whose children are pre-school or at primary level.

It also saves me ever having to know what non-political articles are in the Paper that Supported the Blackshirts, as they seem all cribbed from MN.

Quite a few men are parents too OP, it's not an activity confine to women.

My DC are all adults in their 30s so I don't come on MN for parenting advice at all, is that weird?

There's a lot more to MN than parent talk. If you've been lurking on here for some time OP you should be aware of that.

I understand what you mean OP. I did wonder myself! However, my view has very recently changed. I posted a new thread the other day and one of the posters was male and actually gave me some very sage/useful advice, which I acted upon .. & has resulted in a complete result! Therefore, I think men posting on this site can be useful, helpful & Informative when looking for a different perspective. In saying that ..I have observed that a large majority of male posters ( at least the ones I see) tend to post and ultimately centre around " my wife won't have sex with me but I do all the housework, work 50 hrs pw and do 50% of childcare" that sort of thing.. Admittedly my kids are grown now so I only look in AIBU, 30 days only, Chat and Relationships. Sometimes I go on the 'Sex' topic,if nothing on Netflix &/or LBC is slow. So. as I'm not looking at all boards maybe my opinion is a bit skewed but I get your point OP!

People - men and non-parents! - come on this site because it's engaging, entertaining, intelligent and thought provoking.

If you're a non-parent wondering why men come here, just consider the reasons why you like coming here, because they're probably the same for the men.