To be feeling guilty over this

[Dimblebimble]

My husband bought me a necklace for my birthday on the weekend. It was something I'd commented on when we walked past the jewellers window a little while back saying 'that's nice' (not a hint, just a passing observation). I tried it on but it doesn't really suit me. It's gold and I normally wear silver, and it washes me out, it sits oddly on my chest, and the two chains get tangled. I told dh that I didn't think it suited me and asked if we could return it. But it turns out the jewellers only has a 14 days return policy and that expired a few days before my birthday. We might take it in and see if they'll be flexible, but if not I'll have to keep it and he'll know I don't like it.

It cost over £200, and it just seems like such a waste of money. I feel really guilty about it because he only bought it because I mentioned I liked it, and it was basically money down the drain. Is it weird that this has totally ruined my week, and I want to cry when I think about it? We're by no means rich but not desperate for money either, these type of expensive unwanted gifts just make me feel ridiculously sad, don't know why ☹️

Why did you say you liked it when your birthday was coming up, and he already knows you don't like it, as you've asked to return it.

The jewellers might do a switch for store credit. If not then I guess lesson learned.

@Bluntness100 I do like the necklace, it just didn't suit me and as soon as I moved the chains got tangled up. I didn't try it on, I just said as we walked past the shop window 'that's nice' and he said which one and I pointed it out.

Just to say, I do appreciate the thought, and that he remembered which item I'd liked. But now I feel awful as he knows I don't like the gift AND he can't get his money back. I just assumed it would be within the returns period, otherwise I wouldn't have said anything to him.

I thought everyone had to now offer a 28 day returns policy?
Have I gone mad? Having just googled - yes I think I have.
You could give it a go.
Shops are happier to exchange rather than refund.
Would you swap it for something you do like rather than ask for a full refund?

They won't give him his money back but you could go and exchange it? Just need to give them a ring and explain I'm sure it happens all the time. Your reaction to this is not really normal though,is there other stuff going on with your marriage or do you suffer from depression etc?

@EdithBouvier nothing in particular going on with the marriage, I don't have any diagnosed mental health issues but I think perhaps I'm overly sensitive. I had the same experience with a handbag my mum bought me for my 18th birthday. It was probably around £100 which was very expensive for her and for me at the time, but it was an under arm bag and I only ever wear bags with long straps. I didn't have the heart to tell her I didn't like it andI felt very sad every time I looked at it. I finally got rid of it the other day, 10 years later, and it still made me really sad. I think I'm sad about the fact that someone has got me something they think I'll love, and I feel guilty and sad for them that I don't? I don't know, it's really weird. It makes me feel really sad.

You need to move past that by thinking differently and learning that if something still has tags on but no receipt you can exchange it freely with most shops. Start exchanging stop feeling guilty! It's nice you have caring people around you that want to buy you nice things, if they're not to your taste you can exchange no harm done.

I totally understand the feeling of sadness Op, i’m the same. You have this weird feeling of guilt that you didn’t live up to the giver’s hope and expectation that you would like the gift. If the gift is expensive it’s so much worse.

Hopefully you can exchange it - i’m sure almost all shops would allow that.