Free baby clothes... AIBU?

[willisurvive3under2]

A few months ago I advertised a big bundle of tiny baby clothes on a local FB page. It was tiny baby clothes I'd used for my twins. I gave them away for free - partly because I had been given some of the stuff for free myself, and partly because I wanted to help out a fellow twin mum. When she collected the bundle she did ask if I was sure I didn't want any money and I said yes.

Today she advertised the same clothes on the same FB page asking for money - she has divided them into smaller bundles but most of the items are mine (I'd say 80% of the stuff is). It's unmistakable.

I nearly messaged her straightaway to express how I feel about this but then I wondered if maybe I'm wrong? I guess the clothes are hers and she can do what she wants with them now? It's a very small local group, I feel she is being incredibly cheeky. AIBU?

We choose to give away most of the clothes that our kids grow out of too.

While I understand the annoyance, they are no longer yours and you can't tell her what to do with them. She didn't take them under false pretences, you chose to give them to her.

Either accept that people can do what they want with things you give away or put a price on them and sell them. No point getting upset because the person you gave them to has chosen to sell them on, there are lots of people who would gift them on but also people who will use the opportunity to spin a profit.

Fair enough, I completely get that she can do what she wants with the clothes of course. And it is coming up to Christmas and every little helps.

To the poster who suggested I stalk this woman - I really don't, but I get a notification when people post on this group (because I want to be able to see what twin items are on offer) and her name sounded familiar. Also I used those clothes enough times on my tiny babies to recognise them in the pictures before I even read her whole post.

As far as I know, there are no rules against this in this particular group.

This reminds me when I was younger I bought a tablet off a friend for £150 with the intention of selling it on for profit.

Still haunts me, I feel like a bad person.

It’s fair to feel she is being cheeky. You would hope that seeing as she was gifted the items, she would do the decent thing and pay it forward once they are no longer of use to her. However, you did give them to her with no conditions attached so you can’t raise it with her, she is entitled to do with them as she pleases. As other posters have said, give the time lapse, she has probably used them herself and you don’t know how desperate her financial situation is.

Perhaps in future when you give away items add a little note that all you ask for in return is that they pass the items on for free once they are done too.

I have always been appreciative of any second hand stuff received from friends and have given away all of my own childrens’ things to others too. I think it’s a nice convention and it’s a shame that it’s spoiled by people selling items they have been given in good faith. More liberal than capitalist I guess.

This comes up over and over and I don’t get it.

She ASKED you if you wanted some money and you said no.

Those items are hers and she can disposed of them as she sees fit - you’ve no idea of her circumstances but that’s irrelevant - the goods aren’t yours and you’re extreme unreasonable in messaging her.

I often give away baby items, lots to a good friend who has just has a baby. Because of these mumsnet threads I made it very clear to her I had no problem with her selling them on.

I got my use out of them and that’s enough for me.

She might be strapped for cash.

You said that you wanted to help out another twin mum. Can you look at it that you’ve helped her out twice- once by giving her the clothes which she used and again now as she’s getting money she needs

Her baby probably outgrew them. Tiny baby clothes only last a few weeks don't they? Once she was finished with them she decided to sell them and I think that's fine. You could have sold them if you had the time and inclination, but you decided not to .

In our twins group, whenever someone passes something on, we always reiterate that it needs to be passed on again after for free. Maybe chalk this up to experience.. although I agree it’s cheeky

Ynbu I got fed up of people's rudeness on f.b when giving away my baby stuff for free so it goes to the charity shop now.
I have a huge bundle of 0-3 clothes and I asked if anyone was after baby boy clothes and someone just said " yeah me " I found that really abrupt and didn't even reply.
I had a bundle of bibs burp clothes and maternity pyjamas. Someone's mum tagged a young lady who said she would like them, her mum said what about the pyjamas? She said no im actually going to get some decent ones. Cheeky cow. I work with her sister and apparently she has form for it.
Fed up of no shows aswell. Sitting in for people to not turn up.
Personally I would have said something underneath about it being given for free.

I don't understand the people saying Yanbu.

You gave away the clothes. That's the end of it. If she wants or needs to sell them that's her choice because they are her clothes.

The charity shops are not cheap and some people can only afford free items. If I was happy to pass them on, I'd except they are no longer mine.
Especially as it has been a few months, is it a specific twin group or a local area selling page.
You done a kind thing, your kindness will be helping for a second time. She had them a few months so hopefully they served their purpose, Please do not let this put you off helping g or offering again.

Propee cheeky but i see people doing this all the time. My db is liable to do this so i never offer him anything for free