To just be fed up with my house

[beeefcake]

Have lived in our house for a year and a half. Was old and neglected when we bought it and everything the previous owner did was (badly done) DIY.

Beyond redecorating a few rooms and buying new furniture it feels like we have done bugger all and I'm starting to regret buying it as I didn't realise how much work needs doing. Literally every single thing you can think of needs work done. Even the rooms we have finished none of the doors work and paint is chipped from all the skirting boards.

All the windows (original sash) need replacing and are covered in years of paint and caulk so look a state. The bathroom window has mould round it, the outside is a complete bomb site. We are having the kitchen refitted next month after months of scrimping and saving and even that will be more work than anticipated because the floor is uneven and needs new concrete.

I honestly feel in such despair and fed up of living in a shitty house I just want to admit defeat and move out, but we would be leaving work half done and I think we would struggle to sell it.

Please tell me it gets better/is worth it in the end. I can't even be bothered to do housework in the nicer rooms now because it feels so pointless.

God I could have written this, we’re in the same boat. I’ve literally spent all day crying about it. Dd accidentally broke the freezer door & it sent me off. I am fed up of everything being crap/broken/dirty looking/old. Fingers crossed it gets better. We’ve stopped all work for the next 6 months in the hope we can save & move.

You will get there, just don’t lose your vision!
When we moved I thought it would take about 2 yrs to sort everything out, turned out to be 5. Then,of course, it starts all over again, painting etc.
If you really don’t like the house then moving is an option, don’t be unhappy unnecessarily

@housewifeoflittleitaly it is miserable as sin

Like you say everything looks so old and filthy I cannot bear it. Every day something else breaks or falls apart. We have had a bucket under the kitchen sink for 2 months now. I can't even see the work we have done now all I can see it what needs doing.

Thank you @Lovingbenidorm, if we haven't made much more progress by the end of next year then I'm throwing in the towel and buying a new build!!!!

Yes been there. Took years but my house is looking great and everything is exactly to my taste. I have a love/hate relationship with my house. I always said I hated it but now it's done and and we are ready to sell I'm finding it hard to leave. It's an emotionl thing doing years of work and I feel a sense of acheivement when I look at before and after pictures we've taken.

Take photos to keep motivated, it reallt helps.

Would it be better to concentrate on one area and get that top notch, so for example do your kitchen properly, exactly how you want it before moving into the next room? I sometimes think flitting from job to job all over the house just causes chaos and dissatisfaction as nothing ever seems to get done. You also have the benefit of having a perfect room to retreat to and this will give you the motivation for the next part of the house because you know how it can look when done properly. One caveat with this though is get your basics right first, make sure your heating and electrics etc are to standard before doing the cosmetic work, you don’t want to have to rip out all your hard work because the basics have not been done properly.

When we first moved into our wreck a friend said to me make your bedroom the first priority, get it exactly as you want it, then it doesn't matter if the rest of the house is a building site, you go up to bed at night close the door and have a bit of sanctuary. She was right. Nearly two years on and we're getting there slowly with the rest

I know how you feel.
The windows leak, the roof leaks and looks like the chimney too, the gutters don't fit properly in spite of having them sorted several times so that water cascades down the walls and has made the paint bubble.

The new door lets in water underneath in spite of costing a fortune, the stairs creak. There are stains on the ceilings from previous leaks and the partition wall is shrinking away from the ceiling downstairs.

There are cracks in the walls which had been hidden by the previous owner, along with the leaks, all had been bodged by the same cowboys that built the crappy extension.

Driveway is coming to bits, entire house needs rewiring and everything needs decorating.

One leaking radiator which is leaking from the part that means the system will need draining, not just adjustment so have to keep an eye on the pressure so that we still have heat and hot water. A tap we can't use as it leaks...

Floors are all knackered, kitchen keeps falling to bits and the extractor has fallen apart, main oven doesn't work, garage doors are rotten and have holes in them.

I just don't want to deal with it any more.

Anyone fancy a swap? Schools here are really good.

The trouble with doing up houses is that the important bits aren't usually the bits you see, so wiring, plumbing, roof work, Windows, plastering,floors, damp proofing etc all get done and you have nothing lovely to show for it except a hole in your bank account, and all you really want to do is waft around showrooms and play with paint samples and curtain swatches...........

We bought a doer-upper then DP made redundant. Got another job then had a long term illness which wiped us out financially. We can't afford to do all the jobs and we have been here years. I did think about trying to part exchange for a new build but they are so small in comparison .After a while you stop noticing !

We are finalizing sale of our fixer upper that we owned for seven years next week. It was ugly when purchased but after replacing flooring in five rooms, repainting the interior and exterior, renovating the deck,erecting a fence, replacing the heating/AC, water purifier,insulation and garage door it was market ready. We swore never again and are building a new one

I feel you OP and we built a brand new house! Cowboy builders means: shitty plumbing, electrics, tiling, plastering, windows, insulation carpentry- I come close to tears some days with the aggravation of it all! NOTHING works properly and I find it so stressful being at home with two small babies when every single thing I do seems to be problematic - from trying to get hot water for their bath to heating their (unbearably) cold bedrooms etc etc.

To an outsider it actually looks all shiny and lovely and we’re regularly complemented on the decor. o it seems spoilt or ungrateful to complain but it honestly has started to effect my mental health and all I want to do is move!

Tbh I get where you're coming from but I loved buying houses like yours and fixing them (before children - after it's a lot harder).

I'm not a property developer. I just didn't like paying a premium for someone else's bad taste.

So that swanky new kitchen in the latest gloss finish/colour etc - no thanks. It will date badly.

Same with bathrooms.

Upshot is I'm on house number 7 (again not a developer and I've moved due to changes in employment, circumstance and frankly in my current house, finding all my boxes ticked bar decor).

So my advice when facing a whole house that needs to be done, but you need to live in:

1. Pick a design aesthetic for the house and stick to it. Modern, country, industrial, scandi etc. Look for bargains on eBay, in charity shops etc that fit that any buy them when they are available, not when you start decorating (and can only find what you want at 3 times the price).

1. Spend your money on structural items. Don't buy a new sofa if the windows leak. Throw money at making your home watertight and efficient - windows/doors/insulation before anything else. It's no fun sitting in a lovely room that's freezing cold because you can't afford to put the heating on.

1. Once you've sorted point 2 then start room by room. Don't scatter your efforts around the property. Do emergency repairs as needed, but reserve your cash and energy to do a single room properly (ref point 1 as this may take time so you need to keep consistency if you want a continuous aesthetic to the property).

1. Doing a room properly means just that. Fix everything. No jobs left undone. Priorities are different for everyone, but my order was always to get a bathroom sorted first (to get clean of building site muck), then bedroom (to relax after bathing in lovely bathroom). Next was a lounge area to sit and be comfortable and then kitchen/utility (deliberately last as a kitchen is the biggest ticket item and by now you've lived in the house and discovered what you really want/need).

1. Finish the rest of the property room by room.

That's it

We are 4 years in to a ‘project’ house - and are almost completely finished. My advice is prettying the same as the above - one room at a time - we basically expanded our living space each time we finished a room, and ignored the unfinished rooms as much as we could.

We did our bedroom first (after central heating and rewiring) so that we had a retreat and went from there. I kept myself motivated by making Pinterest boards, you could try that - good luck you will get there in the end!

This is why I refused to buy a house where anything needed doing. Yes, it's not necesssarily done to our taste but I don't give a fuck, the thought of having to renovate fills me with dread.

We've also discovered things the previous owners hid - cracks, leaky plumbing etc but at least there's no woodwork to paint.

Same boat here - we should start a club!
We moved in 16 months ago, replaced the roof and the boiler, and rewired and decorated the master bedroom... and then did nothing for 8 months, mainly due to getting married and DH taking a few months off work to study for a (work-related) qualification. I'm hoping now he is back at work that we can save up enough to put in an upstairs shower room in 2019 (we need to remove a chimney breast and split a room in two so it's quite a lot of work).
Current bathroom is downstairs, freezing and was mouldy - HG Mould spray has really helped though, so might be worth a try?
Once the upstairs shower room is in we need to strip out the downstairs one, replace the window, insulate the walls (crap extension by previous owners) and refit it.
Then the kitchen, I don't dare look under the lino but I can get how uneven the floor is through it.
So, we're in for the long haul. I feel like I've lost my drive with it a bit now - need to find the motivation again!

I know how you feel, we are still doing ours if you still have the original windows they can almost certainly be repaired. You do need a renovation specialist but it will be cheaper than new ones and better no new window will last as long as the original we have just had ours done in the end 4 needed a few new pieces of wood, new sash cords but actually when old paint removed underneath they were basically ok. The guy said almost every sash is repairable good luck

The problem is that the unseen things are the most important but they aren't interesting or visible

what's outside? Any junk must go but strimming everything down to a level height (lawn, grass, weeds, border plants that is, not shrubs) then hire a powerhose and clean teh step, path etc. That really makes a difference. Nothing needs done in the garden now as it's winter.

Inside modern paint is a marvel. In Days gone by stuff was scraped, sanded, wiped then primed, undercoated, glossed. All in one paint can do the lot in one or two coats. Paint carefully ie don't introduce runs and drip marks, and cover surrounding floor etc but I would at least touch up the chip marks, if not put a coat of white paint on.

Rotten windows don't really matter until they fall out and that can take years.

Maybe paint the front door. As that is what you see first.

Doing up a doer-upper is expensive and takes at least twice as long as the longest possible time you imagined to start with. I love taking a room back to the brickwork and floorboards and redoing it from the electrics up, but many don't.

Personally I would say if you can envisage a time when you will have it done, and when it's done you will love it, then grit your teeth and carry on. DeRigeur's advice is spot on: do absolutely everything all in one go.

But if you just bought it because it was cheap and it all looked cosmetic then flog it to someone who will love doing it and move on.

Joining... we bought our house 5 years ago.. looked lovely and didn't think it needed anything doing to it... turns out there were some dodgy electrics, the roof needed replacing.. we've now discovered q patch of damp in the living room... after 2 babies in 2 years I'm part time and we are skint!

House looks dire but going to redecorate the living room asap (Maybe before Christmas!) And paint downstairs. After christmas going to replace kitchen flooring and then get a new cooker and replace kitchen cupboard doors. Next summer will do bathroom and then will start on upstairs...

18 months is no time at all it takes 6 months just to settle in and and get a feel for what you want to do with the house. You’ll feel better once the kitchen is done. Don’t stop until you’re really happy with it and then move to the next room. Sometimes it’s helpful to write a list of everything you don’t like and what you need to do to fix it then put it in order of priority. That way you’ve got all thd issues out into the open and feel like you’ve got a plan rather than being sucked into never ending renovations.

I feel the exact same way! It's taking me so long to get stuff done as being overwhelmed by it all makes me lose motivation and then it's a downward spiral. Even the rooms I had done now need redoing due to mould, wear and tear and roof leaks!

I love lists so am planning on making lists and making some small changes so I have achieved a win! This will probably mean re painting the bedroom despite being halfway through the hall so at least I have a sanctuary. Moving is not an option for us due to being in a village that became popular and prices soaring.

Maybe we should have a thread to support each other or just somewhere we can rant!

Even the rooms we have finished none of the doors work and paint is chipped from all the skirting boards.

So you haven't actually finished these rooms?

These should be the first things you look at as if you fix them now the carpet will not fit properly.

Can you afford to at least give the place a simple paint job. If the place is at least freshly painted, it will look miles better. You'll no doubt have to do it again once the more structural work is completed but that doesn't mean it is wasted money. It is worth it for your mental health and much cheaper than moving...stamp duty etc.