To ask about your late talkers?

[SinkGirl]

My twins are 26 months now and neither can talk.

One has a lot of health issues and is under many specialists. He has a SALT assessment in a few weeks. He babbles constantly but not deliberately.

His twin has no health issues and is doing well developmentally in most areas except social skills and communication. He only says ga or long noises but no other consonants. Still waiting for his SALT appointment.

I’m starting to really worry about the second has he has no input from any medical professionals and I’m worried we are missing something.

Those whose little ones still weren’t speaking at this age, how did things work out?

My ma worked with a lot of young children in an educational setting.
She reckons - in all seriousness - that some kids just don't bother with talking until they've got something they feel is important enough to say!

I'm sure that might be the case sometimes, but there are estimates of 1 in 10 children having communication difficulties (this includes all children with speech delays, and speech difficulties associated with other adfitional needs) and 2 children in every classroom being thought to have specific language impairment (this is the term used for people who have speech disorders not associated with delays or any other difficulties) - with these numbers, and the lower outcomes for children with communication difficulties, it is probably best to seek help from.outside professionals who can advise on the best support for the child.

I got a book about early intervention for autism to help twin 2 regain some skills and honestly most of what it said sounded like twin 1 rather than twin 2. I agree with you, from what you've said in this thread and in your previous threads about your twins.

GrandTheftAuto might be understandably worried about her DD, but has correctly identified that her DD's receptive language skills aren't impaired which would be a greater concern.

OP, do you suspect that your two don't have the understanding of the world that unimpaired receptive language processing would foster? So if you ask them, "Where are your shoes?" they don't look around for the shoes? They wouldn't try to make their way over to them, whether they can or can't actually form the word "shoes" or a reasonable facsimile? If this is so I would bring it to the HV's attention and push for assessment of both children ASAP.

I'm sure you will feel guilty about twin one slipping through the net, but you've clearly been so tied up with twin two's more obvious problems that it's easy to miss, especially when you don't know what you're looking nor actually know you should be looking in the first place. Don't be hard on yourself, it's desperately worrying when your children aren't developing as they should and all sorts of factors like exhaustion, worry and stress will not help you keep a clear head.

No, if I said where are your shoes (or any other item) he wouldn’t look round for them. He recognises colours but doesn’t recognise the words. He understands some things (“sit down”, no and his name) and I think he’s starting to understand a bit more than that but hard to be sure.

I’m really worried to be honest.

You're doing the right thing in getting twin 1 checked out. Don't be hard on yourself for not being onto it sooner - 26 months is still very young in terms of accessing SALT etc. 2 of mine have ASD - DS1 was diagnosed at just over 3, DS3 was a little over 4. (there's 7ish years between them). I was back and forth on getting DS3 assessed as he didn't present as severely as DS1 did.

It's brilliant that they're already responding to the cue cards. I won't tell you not to worry, because I found it impossible not to. I found the toddler years really isolating with DS1 as he was very different to the DC I met. But he was making and continues to make progress, it can be hard to see when you're looking at the age-expected skills.

Dp says she's fine and not to worry but I thought she'd be saying more by now. She never shuts up though and babbles but no words other than the ones I've said.

I'll wait to see if she gets a 2yr check and see what they say.

Thank you. I took him to a SALT drop in a couple of days before their 2nd birthday so he was referred as early as he could be via that route as they have 2 as a cut off.

The last 9 months have just been so awful. February this year, everything seemed to be going so well and it just feels like things have gradually fallen apart. I’ve been through an awful process with twin 2 where I was sick with worry and now I feel like we are about to start all that all over again with the other twin. I just don’t feel like I can go through all that again, and it’s not like we even know what’s going on with twin 2 yet either. Obviously they need me to get my shit together and I will, just feeling very panicked right now.

Twin 1 is really smart in so many ways - he became obsessed with DH’s phone and will take it out of DH’s pocket, push it into his hand and then push his thumb to the home button. I let him play a shape and colour sorter game for toddlers on an old iPad and he’s brilliant at it. He has this little toy laptop/tablet - one of the games shows you the corner of a picture of an animal and you have to press the corresponding letter button and he gets it right every time, I have no idea how he’s figured that out as it doesn’t tell you - you only know it’s right because it reveals the picture. You can see him thinking. And I know he can learn new skills as he picked up the cue cards quite quickly. I don’t know, I’m so confused by it all.

Oh Op i remember this so well i said upthread i have a child with severe autism and learning disabillities , have you any real life support, facebook has a group called My child has global development delay , i know you dont have a diagnosi yet but it might help to speak to people who are facing similar problems?

Our sine was 3 months off 5 years old before he said a word that was recognisable
He’s 10 now and talks constantly -even in his sleep. They wanted to send him to a special needs school , the health professionals were so concerned about his commmunication
We spent thousands on private SLTs. It didn’t do much good.
By contrast his sister (who’s 19 months younger) was speaking far more advanced than many of her peers by 18 months old.
We used sound boards and learned sign to help him communicate with us. It eased his frustration and ours.
Easy to say don’t worry, but they all learn at their own speed xx

Just to add to some of the responses you’ve already had. DS completely non-verbal to 30 months, then speech came very suddenly over next 6 months. Very bright boy revealed, but by 4.5 we had an ASD diagnosis. He’s now 8.5 and utterly wonderful. He’s flourished in mainstream school. He does still have ASD and this shows in his poor social and communication skills with peers and poor social awareness, but I now know he’s going to be ok in life and I wish someone could have told me that when he was 26 months. I really feel for you. You’ve done well to get a SALT appt. it was SALT that then referred us to the community paediatrician. Good luck. You’re at the hardest point for unknown unknowns and you’re doing all the right things. Keep finding all the positives and seek out support groups-other mums know loads!

I was a late talker. Only said a few words until I was 2.5, was being assessed by hospital, and almost overnight I started speaking in paragraphs.

I went to a selective secondary, did A Levels, Russell Group University etc. so I think I turned out alright!

I honestly feel like it must be something I have done wrong because they seemed totally fine at the start of the year - OT even discharged Twin 2 when he started walking as they said he was on track and then within a month he had this big regression. I have videos of him mimicking complex things when he was about 11 months old, it’s hard to believe it’s even the same child. Twin 1 hasn’t regressed, some skills have just never come. Maybe I haven’t talked to them enough, I try so hard but it’s so hard with twins and no family around, I’m just doing my best but not sure it’s good enough. There’s probably been too much TV and not enough one to one time. I have my own health issues which doesn’t help.

Will push the HV for a referral tomorrow. Will also talk to twin 2’s portage practitioner about whether she thinks twin 1 should be assessed for portage - not sure if he’s delayed in enough areas.

Op Twin 1 sounds like my DS when he was that age (only difference was DS did speak then went through regression 13/14 months)
The hand gesturing but not pointing is typical of ASD children. Interests in technology (he could work out my new microwave before I could at age 2) but not understanding words is also typical.
Op don’t be worried about diagnosis, it’s just a label, doesn’t change who he is. There’s a young boy in my DS’s class who was given the prognosis of never being able to talk or walk & he’s proven everyone wrong & is the most articulate 6yo I’ve ever met. So if he is diagnosed, don’t start worrying about his future just yet- he is so so young & you have no idea how he’ll develop. I recommend a book called ‘Kids beyond limits’ I’ve recommended this book to a lot of parents with young asd kids & ive gotten a lot of positive feedback. (It also started my DS pointing & mimicking)

OP there’s nothing you’ve done wrong at all. Regression is a key symptom of ASD, it was, in my experience the worst one, because I felt so helpless & scared watching all the skills he had disappear.
It’s normal to blame yourself & wonder if you’ve done something wrong. But you haven’t OP. Autism is a prevalent disability becoming more & more common. If twin 2 was born with a physical disability that only became apparent as he got older you wouldn’t blame yourself for that would you? This is no different.

Twin 1* sorry

Sounds like he has what they call a spiky profile. I remember the worry of lack of speech so well. But you're way ahead of where I was, as you're already finding ways to help them communicate on a level they can access with the cue cards.

Somewhat stating the obvious, but you have a lot on your plate. It's very much a marathon not a sprint. There can be a real pressure when you have a child with additional needs (be them a temporary development blip or longer term) to have everything worked out, all the right referrals at the right time, the right support plan in place etc. But I found it a case to be learning as I went, mostly through trial and error.

The SN boards on MN were invaluable to me when DS1 was going through the assessment process 10 years ago. I don't think DS1 would have started school with the support he did without them. They can be a little quiet, but there's also some really knowledgeable posters on there.

No no no. You haven't done anything wrong. Regressions happen, as does development seeming to stall.

Oh my goodness, please don’t feel you’ve done anything wrong, OP. You sound like the most amazing mum who is doing her absolute best for her boys.

They may or may not have additional needs, and it must be a very stressful time for you trying to figure out what is going on with each of them. But whether they do or they don’t, or one does and one doesn’t, it is nothing you have done

OP do you belong to TAMBA? I joined as I joined a local twins club and realised how much help and advice they could give. My identical twin boys ended up in a school for children with learning difficulties as at 5 their speech was very limited.
Speech delay is very common in twins (especially in boys).
My DT's are adult now and they are fine, decent jobs etc,
It sounds like you are getting help, don't let anyone fob you off , and take into consideration the "twin" element.

Thanks everyone - I know that if they have ASD then I didn’t cause it, but I do wonder whether it’s not autism and is down to things I’ve done / things that have happened to us (like long separation after birth, weeks and months in hospital at the start, me having PND, maybe relying too heavily on TV when I’m trying to get things done - they’ve definitely had more than they should in recent months but it’s the only thing T2 will engage with and I thought if was better than him just running up and down the room with no stimulus but that may have been the wrong call). I don’t know, but I’m going to cut out TV as far as possible and see if it helps.

Thank you all for your support. Fingers crossed for the appointment today. I am a member of TAMBA but I’ve never called them for any sort of help so not sure what they could offer!

Hi OP, Please don't beat yourself up about "one on one" time with twins -just getting through the day is an achievement, and if the telly helps I wouldn't worry too much about that either. You need to give yourself a bit of credit for having got through the last two years and got the ball rolling with assessments etc. For what its worth my twins, who have no health issues, were late talkers and were referred to SLT at the age of two, but once they started nursery (just after 2nd Birthday) seemed to pick things up more quickly. My daughter had a minor tongue tie, which made some sounds difficult for her, but she did develop the habit of speaking for her twin brother - when they started Reception in separate classes he blossomed with his speech. I also went along to local twins group a few times when I felt mentally able to cope with the bus and double buggy and the most useful thing was just chatting and offloading to other mums - there were many with experience of delayed speech and a few with twins with health issues too. It might be worth a shot as you sound in need of a bit of nurturing in an environment where people will be supportive.

Thank you :)

Yes, I’ve long suspected they both have posterior tongue ties - when they were born they were tube fed for weeks and when I tried to breastfeed it was excruciating and they just dribbled all the milk out of the other side of their mouths. At the time I couldn’t get it sorted and I was trying to mix feed but they were getting nothing from bfing - because of the long nicu stay they missed the cut off for the hospital tongue tie clinic, I booked someone private to look at them but then one was readmitted and tube fed again for nearly two weeks, and the other couldn’t come in because we didn’t want him to get sick so he was bottle fed the whole time. After that stay I couldn’t get either of them to latch and I just pumped and bottle fed. Their milk dribbling reduced as they got bigger and they have no issues with solids so I don’t think it’s too bad.

I have a lovely group of twin Mum friends but it’s hard sometimes seeing their twins doing so well. Just starting to go to groups for kids with additional needs now.

DS2 hardly spoke up to 25 months. DS1 has severe autism and is non-verbal, so we were worried about DS2, although DS2 clearly could understand what we were saying ('get the book' etc) whereas DS1 had no clue. DS2 had SALT appointment at around 24 months and we were advised to consider a preschool or nursery for a day or so per week to help encourage him to talk: got him in a local one for two afternoons a week, and he's never shut up since.

I would also say don't beat yourself up, you are not Superman , and speaking from my own point of view I found toddler twins very draining and every little problem they had I blamed me, which looking back was completely irrational, but at the time I just thought I was inadequate.
DH and I went to a TAMBA meeting at Queens Charlottes hospital where they showed a film explaining about speech delay in twins.
It was extremely illuminating.
When one of your twins is running about causing mayhem it is giving him/her attention that his/her twin isn't getting. The conclusion was that each Twin, because of this "competition" , instead of getting 50% of your attention in the end they are getting half that!
I had to use the TV /videos to keep then entertained, apparently this is not all bad as long as there is speech and conversation/ songs that they engage with.
If you can manage it split them up, when you can (Use DP/ GP's
/relatives etc) so they have some dedicated one to one. It does help.
Mine were awful at school to begin with until they were split up and put in seperate classes, and then they flourished.
I think a lot of problems are caused by "experts" not understanding or have any knowledge of the "twin factor" which has such an effect on their development and behaviour.
The relationship between twins is quite unique and until you have witnessed it first hand, it is very difficult to appreciate, how different having twins in a family, than having two siblings close in age.

Echo what meredinto said. Push for testing etc . Delay in getting my ds help created a huge problem with his speech and language,

Not sure if it's been mentioned but if they're still using a dummy it may help to phase them out, especially any daytime use. May not be relevant but thought it worth mentioning.
Good luck OP. I'm sure they'll both be chatting your ears off in no time. Could it be because they're twins and they have their own little "language" so don't really feel the need to communicate much beyond this? Might be worth looking at some toddler signing classes, it may help them with communication until they get going talking?