Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Office ‘shared’ food. Would you say anything?

256 replies

KittyVonCatsworth · 21/11/2018 13:04

We’re a really small team, 10 of us in the office. There’s a table where we all often bring treats in biscuits, fruit, cheese etc for us to help ourselves. However, there’s always the same guy that just trounces the food! He does occasionally bring in a packet of biscuits but e.g I bought in a packet of ginger cookies, teacakes and some chocolate bars. About 30 snacks/treats in total which could’ve easily lasted 2/3 days but he just demolished them! The same with the fruit today; instead of one satsuma he’s had 5! As well as grapes and bananas and 3 mince pies. All before lunchtime.

I know it seems a bit of a non issue but I just find it greedy and it really puts me off bringing in treats for the rest of the team. I’m normally very abrupt and direct but I don’t want to embarrass him or the rest of the team or come across as mean. It’s been mentioned by others in the team too.

Would you say anything and if so, how would you say ‘stop being a woofer’ in a nice way!

OP posts:
Original poster
KittyVonCatsworth · 21/11/2018 20:41

Where did I say I didn’t like the guy lyingwitch? Professionally I don’t rate him, his grabby nature is questionable but I certainly don’t dislike him. Like many people, myself included, has traits that I find unpleasant (as do I to others I’m sure) but he’s ok. Wouldn’t want to spend outside time with him but I get on ok with the guy. And as for bullying and ganging up on him, if you read my OP, I didn’t want to call him out on it as not to embarrass him. I’m failing to see in any of my posts where I’ve given you this absurd notion that I’m bullying him!

OP posts:
Hellywelly10 · 21/11/2018 20:48

Pmsl at cheese rota!

EvaHarknessRose · 21/11/2018 20:51

Look, its hopefully resolved, don’t let it take on a bullying tone.

JudasPrudy · 21/11/2018 20:55

When I was a manager, if this had been brought to my attention I'd have been furious that the person complaining was a) more worried about what was happening at the snack table than their work and b) expected me to intervene in a petty dispute. I would have instantly banned the snack table. If you're going to act like children, expect to be treated like children.

Original poster
KittyVonCatsworth · 21/11/2018 20:58

The cheese rota is a very serious thing helly; we have an administrator and it’s put into everyone’s diaries. Members of the cheese club are responsible for arranging cover if holidays clash with their allotted time and any deviation from cheese has to be approved by at least half of the members (eg samosas for Diwali instead of cheese) 😂
As mentioned, I don’t think cheese club will go down without a fight but I think the treat table can be curtailed.

OP posts:
Original poster
KittyVonCatsworth · 21/11/2018 21:03

Again, I said I wasn’t going to bother my manager about this and this isn’t about us acting like children although one could argue that grabbing treats before anyone else has a chance or not sharing has a whiff of childishness but not something I would bother my manager with.

OP posts:
ginyogarepeat · 21/11/2018 21:27

I've always worked in fairly mixed sex offices and have noticed similar patterns, and always with men! Not sure if I've just been unlucky but in each office I've worked in the men will quite happily scoff more than their fair share of any food brought in, but rarely replace it with anything! It's always the women bringing in cakes, biscuits, sweets....

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/11/2018 21:28

I did read your posts OP. You and your co-workers sound like gossipy people who don't have the guts to actually confront somebody who you feel is acting out of line. Ditto your manager. I don't know what sort of company you work for but none of you sound very professional.

Read your own posts again before you try to justify yourself. You say it's a non-issue yet you're busy counting what he's eating. You're not being 'subtle' and neither is your manager, you're being petty. I'm reading your posts perfectly well, I just don't agree with you and I wouldn't participate in this 'sharing', it just sounds like an excuse to gang-up. Your post at 1600. Not very nice.

Sounds like you just wanted a thread full of people calling him a 'greedy pig'. Mostly you have that; MN is full of food-obsessed posters.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 21/11/2018 21:33

When I was a manager, if this had been brought to my attention I'd have been furious that the person complaining was a) more worried about what was happening at the snack table than their work and b) expected me to intervene in a petty dispute. I would have instantly banned the snack table. If you're going to act like children, expect to be treated like children

Wow ! What leadership courses did you attend ?

Original poster
KittyVonCatsworth · 21/11/2018 21:40

And read the original thread!! I asked would you say something and if so, how given that (under my own admission) that I’m not very tactful at times and I didn’t want to embarrass him.

And it wasn’t me who called him bogey hunter and gobbler either 😂 I was stating that as a reason to abandon treat table and possibly my own involvement in cheese club...or at least get to it before he does!

My manager wasn't even in the office today and I already stated that this wasn’t something I was going to bother him with.

I think you’re reading an awful lot into these posts. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, and that’s fine but I do take exception to being accused of ganging up and bullying.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/11/2018 21:46

I didn't say you were 'bullying', I said that you - and your colleagues - sounded like you were ganging-up. That's my opinion - from your posts.

If you didn't want to embarrass him you'd take him to one side and just say something like "Look, we all like these treats but they need to go around everybody who wants one so can you just take one or two please so that everybody has a chance? Thanks".

Really not difficult. But instead you do sound a gossipy lot who likes to watch what other people are doing/eating and your office of 'treats' sounds unpleasant to work in. Again, my opinion.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/11/2018 21:49

CherryPavlova's post is really to the point - and kind. That's what I would do if you're really interested in keeping this an inclusive thing.

Original poster
KittyVonCatsworth · 21/11/2018 22:09

You say it’s not difficult, to you maybe not but for me, yes, I’d struggle to find the right words. I’m clumsy and my general directness may have been construed as being rude. Hence why I’d asked for advice, basically along the lines of what you've just posted. As it happens, my colleague who is much better at these types of conversations had a chat while I was meeting my client.

I also heeded people’s opinions on whether we should have a treat table at all, or at least cut back on it.

If I didn’t want opinions I certainly wouldn’t have posted on AIBU 😂 but I will challenge your unfounded opinion of me ganging up on him. Everything else you’ve said is fair comment as far as your opinion goes but I won’t be accused of that.

OP posts:
nkotb · 22/11/2018 07:05

This thread has made me very happy I no longer work in an office.

Ilovealexa · 22/11/2018 07:09

Just do a blanket ‘warning’ without singling him out. Even if it’s really obvious who it is.

InfiniteSheldon · 22/11/2018 07:13

Sounds awful, we live in an obesogenic society stop contributing to it or share freely. You are pretending to be generous whilst bitching behind someone's back. Either stop contributing or stop minding how much he eats.

vixy1988 · 22/11/2018 07:16

We are a similar office but unfortunately it is first come first serve.
An email goes round to say there is food and then you hear the foot steps of people running down for a free for all. It's free food and there are no limits

SuchAToDo · 22/11/2018 07:32

I'm grasping at straws but he's obviously getting a wage,...but you don't know what his financial situation is like at home, he may be over his head with debts and bills and have little amount for food, that might be why he is ravenously filling himself at the snack table,

sollyfromsurrey · 22/11/2018 07:56

Make a whopping huge sign and place it infront of the food. "THIS FOOD IS TO BE SHARED AMONGST 10 PEOPLE. IF YOU ARE TAKING MORE THAN 1/10 OF IT, YOU ARE A GREEDY BASTARD. STOP. WE ALL NOTICE"

user1457017537 · 22/11/2018 08:04

I dislike anyone who watches what others are eating and polices their intake. It’s a sharing table, some take more some take less.

SingaporeSlinky · 22/11/2018 09:13

I think the table snacks just have to stop. If you have a weekly cheese club going on that everyone enjoys, that’s enough. Just email everyone to say it’s stopping because it wasn’t being shared fairly and just to bring your own snacks going forward. In an office of only 10 it does sound excessive how much food was being gobbled anyway.

Don’t take it personally OP, some posters are just responding to other suggestions about telling the manager to sort it. I agree if I was the manager and someone came and expected me to sort such a minor issue, I’d cancel it and say problem solved. My old office kitchen got so full of little post it notes and signs taped up on the cupboards and walls it was ridiculous and they just got ignored. It became more and more petty, someone even put a sign up saying something like “when you’ve used the kettle, please move it to the back of the counter top so it doesn’t burn other people that have to lean over it to get to the cupboard above”. Just incredible.

Fatasfook · 22/11/2018 09:26

Humans just aren’t very good at fairness when it comes to sharing.

chocatoo · 22/11/2018 09:27

Maybe a little sign on the snacks table saying please help yourself but remember they are for everyone to share.

DisrespectfulAdultFemale · 22/11/2018 09:36

Heck with the signs. I suggest a taser so the next time your greedy colleague takes more than his share, you can just blast him.

It might take a few goes, but he'll learn.

whoskeys · 22/11/2018 10:30

The answer would be to play snack-roulette. One mince pie has been laced with chilli, and so if he has more than his share he will be more likely to get the bad one.