What do you do if your message is in serious trouble. Due to a truck load of issues. But basically in essence, he blames me for practical things he feels I should have done in the marriage, mostly financial. he feels I have wasted five years doing nothing when I left my job, (agreed mutually at the time) . He feels I should have minded children to raise income.
Yes I have been at home, we have three DC, 2 with additional needs, one of whom is violent and is prone to violent out bursts and ferocious language. I have explained several times, I don't think we can mind another child in those circumstances, (it's bad enough our others are subjected to this) I don't think it's fair. He thinks I am lazy.
Now dc are older I am looking for part time work .. I am applying for all I can that suits hours wise. I am desperate to work outside the home because I am so lonely, I can go days with speaking to no other adults (DH works long hours) he still thinks I should mind children.
I understand the financial pressure is hard on him. And I am trying to help by getting a PT job. Fwiw.. we are not broke at all. We live very comfortable, but I am aware there is always a pressure to provide
My issue is that he cannot ever see my p.o.v. I feel he sees me as a drain on resources. He is unable to have a conversation on his feelings, simply incapable. Any time I am upset about our issues he cannot understand why I am upset even though our marriage is in pieces!!
I have asked for him to please please come to counselling with me, he can choose the counsellor. He point blank refuses to see one...
I have explained we are talking different languages and we need a mediator
Aibu to think there is no chance for our marriage to work if he refuses to seek outside help for us.
Sorry for the essay
I just have no where else to turn