To want my DD to stop bragging!

[PSILoveWine]

Hey guys!

I don't know if I'm being harsh or not. My DD (10) is a lovely girl and very much the overachiever.
My issue is that on a daily basis, conversation is consumed with how fantastic she is at doing things, which she generally is but I can't help but think if this attitude continues no one will want to be in her company.
An example will be that she KNOWS she'll get into the school athletics team because she is the fastest girl in school, she then talks non stop about how she's better and faster than various classmates.
This is the same for school achievements, after school clubs, instruments. I have approached it in the past which makes her very upset and grumpy!
I don't know what to do! She sounds far too braggy which overshadows her younger sister (7) interests as older DD insists on talking all the time about herself and younger DD is very shy.
AIBU? How do o fix this?

It sounds harsh, but maybe embarrassing her would work? Not in public, but just at home - if she starts, say ‘we’re proud of what you have achieved but if you show off about it like this people will think you are very rude.’

I just know that when I was a kid, being told that I was showing off was the most effective way of ensuring I stopped whatever dickish thing I was doing!

At the same time, you can work on teaching her about quiet confidence - help her to see that achievement is its own reward and that she doesn’t need to use her achievements as a means of getting attention.

Keep talking to her about it. Tell her that it's great to be proud of your achievements, but that it's unpleasant to boast about them at the expense of others ie I'm better/faster than so and so. Explain to her that we should support one another, not rub it in each of faces when we are better than they are and that if she carries on she may end up with no friends!
Be pleased about success, be proud of working hard to achieve your win, but don't use it to remind others that they didn't.

You need to regulate her...

Yes it's fine to be sure of your accomplishments... But... It is not pleasant to continually talk about how well you are doing... It will put other people off you

Please dont shame her! She is young and will remember it for the rest of her life if you do. Just talk to her about it - sounds to me like she is looking for approval which is very common for over achievers. Have a quiet word with her and let her know how proud you are of her but that other people may feel bad around her if she talks about how good she is at everything all the time. Kids don’t know how to behave or what’s polite and what’s not - you need to tell her and show her

But she should be able to tell you she's proud. Keep listening and try to politely suggest she should tell you but not her friends as much...

It's just as easy to be a bad winner as it is to be a bad loser. Try to point this out to her before somebody else does...

Don’t shame her! So so rare that confident girls are allowed to stay confident. Just talk to her when appropriate if people do seem to be reacting badly - ‘it’s great you know how well you do x’ (better to be specific) but friends name is feeling x how do you think friends name might feel if you...’ etc...?

How is she with friends?

If she just talks to you like that then it's less of an issue than if she's talking to classmates etc.

What I say to mine is that it's better to let other people say how good you are. if you say how good you are then people want to bring you down.

We had a girl like that in my form at school. She appeared very popular and everyone wanted to be her friend. Or so I thought.
Then something came up and she'd told everyone she would be it. When it was announced someone else was it, there was a massive cheer from most of the form and the attitude was very much "Ha ha, oh good." (I think she then went round saying she hadn't wanted it anyway, so wasn't too crushed.) I remember being really shocked.

'nobody likes a smug person' Repeated rp my 11 DS when he told me.a lot of the girls like him.

But she should be able to tell you she's proud

She can talk about her achievements at home, but it's the going on to say how much better she is than the other kids that is the boasting.

And if she's hogging the limelight and the youngest is getting pushed out, then as a parent you have to make sure there's time for the youngest and don't allow the older one to muscle in or put the younger one down.