To ask how to let go of what you think you need

[BramRang]

It's going to be a long one so I'll put a shorter question first and the long one with my info in second...

1. Have you got any examples of times you've let go of what you thought you needed to be happy? How did it go? How did you do it?

2. any advice for me?

I am in my 20s and grew up with a lot of importance placed on education. I was a high achiever at gcse level (which is my highest level of educational attainment).

I have never had much of a plan for my life beyond a levels, degree, post grad, "success". I was in an accident when I was 16 which took a long time to recover from, lead to depression/quite heavy drinking and drug use and then more depression and severe anxiety. I was almost 21 by the time I was out the other side, tried and failed to do my a levels a couple of times before that and then took a break, started working in retail while I sorted things out. Etc etc

It's been a few years now, I tried to get back into education and just can't handle it. I want to 'just' get a job and live my life without constantly feeling like I'm waiting to finish my education and finally be ""successful"". I want to feel like I'm not putting my life on hold waiting. But I can't let go. Part of it is my family and what they expect, but mostly it's myself.

My partner and I are engaged and I'm 13 weeks pregnant. We've almost saved up enough for a deposit to buy a house and I'm happy with how things are. I really love my life but I feel like I have this huge thing hanging over me DESPITE the fact that I don't even know what kind of career I'd be aiming for with a degree (probably healthcare - I always wanted to be a doctor before everything, but that won't happen now anyway, I work as a phlebotomist at the moment).

I know I need to let go but I can't shake it. Any advice?

Sorry this is so long.

What’s to stop you becoming a doctor. Plenty of people go back to education in their 20’s or retrain in a different profession.

poodles - that's true, but I haven't ever completed my A Levels or a degree, nor could I cope (with regards to my mental health) with any of it at the moment, never mind a medical degree. And I'm going to have a baby. Maybe one day, but what I'm looking for is how to be content without doing it. I considered therapy but no idea what kind of if I'm just being a bit pathetic.

Can you do Open University, would this be better for you.
Maybe gain some confidence and take your time gaining a Degree either externally or through OU.

Just accept that your life took a different path to the one you expected it too.
I did my a levels and was all set for university. Then got cold feet and deferred for a year. In the year I worked in a bar. In that bar I met my husband. We got married had children and I never made it to uni.
I don't regret it but I do still think what if I'd gone to uni... I'm in my 40s now and have always had jobs just for money, never a career or much ambition.
I know it's not too late and that's always an option which is the same for you even in 10, 15 or 20 years time.
The traditional route isn't always the best one. Life experiences count for a lot.