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AIBU?

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Original poster

Partner calling me a liar!

33 replies

Polkadot1502 · 20/11/2018 11:14

Dd had an eye appointment today as we thought we saw a slight squint and want to get it sorted earlier rather than later, whilst in there the lady asked me about family history I mentioned that several family members including myself have a lazy eye to which partner piped up " you don't have a lazy eye " aibu to think he just basically called me a liar!! I felt bloody stupid! I have got a lazy eye I had it operated on as a toddler, patches and glasses as an adult if I don't wear my glasses I get bad headaches on one side, my mum can still see it roll if I'm knackered!!
I couldn't help but bite back and say you didn't know me as a child, come out of there feeling really stupid! Blush

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 20/11/2018 11:18

I think it's a bit of an over reaction. Just saying "yeah, I had it operated on as a toddler" would have cleared it up.

SoupDragon · 20/11/2018 11:18

Unless you feel he does stuff like that regularly

MrsStrowman · 20/11/2018 11:18

Did he know about all of that? He might just have never noticed your eye

Original poster
Polkadot1502 · 20/11/2018 11:20

Yeah he knows, his seen the photos, he knows my concerns over it because I kept a close eye on my dd incase she has it, yes all the time it drives me up the wall! At the doctors I'll say something and he'll say the complete opposite makes me feel so stupid!

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 20/11/2018 11:21

Why does it make you feel stupid?
Why not angry?
Your reaction is odd here.

Ellisandra · 20/11/2018 11:22

Sorry, posted too soon - I’m not blaming you for him being an arsehole!

I’m saying that you need to work out why YOU feel stupid when you’re in the right. And why do you put up with him doing it?

Original poster
Polkadot1502 · 20/11/2018 11:22

Angry and stupid! Because it's like silly her doesn't know what she's on about!

OP posts:
Original poster
Polkadot1502 · 20/11/2018 11:23

I tell him every time please don't do that again and he does, I think it's a power thing maybe! Xx

OP posts:
Olderbyaminute · 20/11/2018 11:28

I’ve been to a shit load of appointments for my son usually solo ocassionally with my DH and if he tried to undermine me about my medical history or my child’s he’d be gone. Period. After the appointment I’d rip him a new one OP. If he argues back or denies what he’s doing then that would be a dealbreaker. Your response at the moment was correct.

AdamNichol · 20/11/2018 11:45

At best he needs to learn not to be a mouth before brain person.

At worst, this reaction from him indicates his underlying view of your relative worth - ie: without a filter, you get the raw view of his opinion vastly outweighing yours

Bodabing · 20/11/2018 11:46

Personally I think it makes him look stupid, not you. Try telling him that.

InsomniacAnonymous · 20/11/2018 11:48

I would have been irritated because he should have said "I didn't know you had a lazy eye" not "You don't have a lazy eye" which is an outright contradiction of what you said.

fuzzywuzzy · 20/11/2018 11:50

Laugh at him and tell the doctor it’s your family medical history and you definitely had a lazy eye and so does so and so in your family etc. Ignoring your P completely so he looks even more stupid.

Ex used to do this, because he was an arsehole and utterly thick and felt threatened by the fact I am intelligent and competent.

BinglyBunglyBoops · 20/11/2018 11:54

Do you have to go to all appointments together?

Original poster
Polkadot1502 · 20/11/2018 11:56

No but I try and involve him in most things, I think it might be best to go on my own in future xx

OP posts:
Bunchofdaffodils · 20/11/2018 11:58

Olderbyaminute, are you saying you’d divorce your husband if he questioned you about your/ child’s medical history??
Op, maybe he meant you don’t have a lazy eye anymore and trying to be helpful?! Clearly he’s wrong and should just have kept his mouth shut.

Original poster
Polkadot1502 · 20/11/2018 12:00

I did think maybe he was just being nice but he does this in most appointments like that!! Xx

OP posts:
Rachelover40 · 20/11/2018 12:07

He was probably just saying that you've always looked alright to him.

Original poster
Polkadot1502 · 20/11/2018 12:09

I'm not so sure! He sat there and said nothing when his step dad told me I'd let myself go!! 6 months after having Dd, so don't think he would have been saying that xx

OP posts:
badirene · 20/11/2018 12:13

Ah so DP and the stepdad are both the type to have to be right about everything and keep the little woman in her place. Does he have any positive traits OP, are you generally happy with him beyond this, is he a good dad or not really involved in the daily grind of your life together?

Jux · 20/11/2018 12:36

Your reaction is not helpful. - not getting at you here - if you were to then say "Yes I do and you know it" at the time, then he will be the one feeling stupid and whiever it's in front of will wonder what the hell this man is on about.

So challenge him each and every time, unless you think it will make him violent, in which case call WA and get your ducks in a row.

curgina · 20/11/2018 12:37

Your OP sounds like a weird overreaction if it was an isolated incident. Judging by your subsequent posts, it's not though. Presumably he regularly belittles you so now even the small things become hurtful. That needs to change if you want a happy future.

Sarahjconnor · 20/11/2018 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BumbleBeee69 · 20/11/2018 12:49

Your reaction to be called a Liar by your DH in front of a Doctor is not unreasonable, he was a DICK to call you a liar.

Unless you shared it, he couldn't possibly know what surgeries you endured as a Child, so he was out of order in calling you out about it in such a rude manner.

Calling anyone a Liar is appalling, he could have said, oh I didn't know that, but no, instead he was a DICK. Flowers

BumbleBeee69 · 20/11/2018 12:51

Sarahjconnor

well done, it's really awful behaviour Flowers

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