SIDS risk I had no idea about!

[LeonMighty]

I have a 4 week old and whilst in hospital with him yesterday, I was told off for letting him sleep on my chest whilst I also slept.

I had NO idea that sleeping like this increased SIDS risk and now feel like the shittiest person ever.

My baby will not sleep in a cot or Moses basket. I have no idea what I'm going to do now but I can't keep on if SIDS risk is high when doing this...

Anyone else do this and have zero idea of the risk? Nobody tells you these things... :(

I think this comes under the heading of unintentional co sleeping and I was warned about it as a risk factor for accidental suffocation rather than SIDS. I have however heard of suffocation etc being lumped in with SIDS as a blanket term for infant death while sleeping. I have co slept with both of mine, but wouldn't have then on my chest while I was sleeping unless we were arranged in a foolproof manner so that no rolling/slipping/trapping could occur. Could you ask whoever spoke to about it for some advice on safe sleeping to help you manage the risks but also get some rest?

I thought it was a fairly well known risk?

The Lullaby Trust list it as a risk factor, especially if you’re on a sofa or armchair. Common sense really, all it would take is a change of the parent’s position for baby to fall underneath them.

Obviously people do it with no ill effects all the time, and it can’t be assumed that every new parents is completely up to speed with safe sleep guidelines- it doesn’t make you a shitty person! But for your own peace of mind maybe try some alternatives so you can both sleep safely.

@DoJo it was a doctor in A&E so can't speak to them but I could contact my HV. I feel sick that I've been doing this for 4 weeks..

@PennyMordauntsLadyBrain I was just told by midwife to not sleep with baby in bed under duvet with me. Nothing was mentioned about sleeping on sofa etc though I feel like I should have known the risk.... I just feel incredibly silly

You should read about safe cosleeping. Letting baby sleep on your chest is quite obviously dangerous. If you’re sitting up you could drop the baby, and if you’re lying down you could roll on the baby.

Put the baby next to you in bed clear of sheets or pillows. If your partner drinks or smokes he needs to sleep elsewhere.

@brookshelley I am now. Yep, I feel very stupid.

OP if you google Lullaby Trust they set out a good idea of how to co-sleep as safely as possible.

The fact you’ve had baby sleeping on you in a way that isn’t advised is irrelevant now- what’s done is done, there’s no point torturing yourself over it.

What DoJo said. ACcidental death while sleeping is, for some obscure reason, lumped into SIDS (which it shouldn't be!) - the risk in your situation is accidental suffocation, not SIDS.

Babies should not be under the duvet for 2 reasons - one, suffocation risk, and two, overheating risk (which COULD potentially lead to SIDS).

I co-slept with both of mine but the duvet was never near them, they were under cotton blankets and the sheet and I slept with my arm out above their heads so there was no chance of me rolling on them in my sleep. Also no smoking, no alcohol, no husband in bed.

Sorry - need to amend that sentence:
Accidental death by suffocation while sleeping is, for some obscure reason, lumped into SIDS (which it shouldn't be!)

Your baby is still well. That's great. seek advice from hv for the future.

Congratulations

Don't beat yourself up. Your baby is fine. You know now and can take steps to make a safer sleeping arrangement.
Congratulations on your new baby!

Get a sling (there should be a sling livrary nrxt to you, and there are facebook pages). don’t just go to mothercare etc, they usually have no clue! sleeping in a good sling is no risk, (as lobg as you are not asleep as well). both of mine refused to sleep in a coy until well over 1 year old)

I did this a few times tbh. Not on purpose at all but it happened. Usually during the day when my DH was around and he said that he would sit with us to make sure everyone was safe and comfy. Don't beat yourself up though! It happened, everyone is fine, now you know the risks you can try other options. congratulations!

Agree with PP - unintentional co-sleeping is much, much safer than planner co-sleeping (Unicef IIRC has a good guide), and there are some aspects of planned co-sleeping which are believed to lower overall risk.

We did this - used a bedside cot (the babybay or Fabimax are good for genuine 'bedsideness' - they do outgrow them, both size- and mobility-wise, quite quickly, but they have good resale value) and grobags rather than blankets, and I slept half-covered, in very warm pyjamas, to make sure the duvet was nowhere near them (and also without a pillow - still do now, although my co-sleeping days are over).

I found that I became very attuned to and aware of them in sleep (we were bf throughout the night, which I think also contributes to that). Since then I've been a very light sleeper.

Oh FFS!

I obviously meant planned co-sleeping is much, much safer than unintentional co-sleeping

I did this when ds2 was a newborn in the Labour ward. I was also wearing earplugs. Nine years ago but still probably would have got a bollocking if anyone had noticed. We did both have a beautifully calm and silent first night together though. I'm sure DS1 slept on my chest in bed frequently too. It feels so natural it's a shame if the recommendation is that you don't. I'm guessing it's for when you're so sleepy you don't notice if they have slid off or become stuck. I never slept deeply enough for that thankfully.

I didn’t think it was so much them rolling off somewhere and getting stuck, although could happen I suppose. I thought the issue was that there was a risk of them suffocating with their face covered by the chest of the person they were sleeping on if they moved their head during sleep?

Weve all done these things OP. Dont beat yourself up. Now that you know I'm certain you wont do it again.

Yes, don’t beat yourself up, read up on it. Co sleeping might work for you. Also, if you have a partner, they should be sharing the night/early morning parenting.